Newt is Still Working on the Puppet Plan 9 from Outer Space

I was worried because I haven’t seen anything about this lately. But no. He’s actively spamming this project all over Twitter. Whenever somebody mentions the movie, he replies saying that he’s making a puppet remake. He’s been doing this for at least a year and as recently as a few days ago.

It’s entirely plagiarised, of course. It’s in the public domain but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s entirely plagiarised. This is all that Newt knows how to do.

Not only that, this is something that James Rolfe has already done. James Rolfe was somehow involved in some shitty, plagiarised version of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

I remember somebody asking Newt about this Plan 9 that James was in and Newt claims that he never saw it. Even if that’s true, which it very may be, Newt still knows about it.

There was another time when Newt was talking lovingly about how Winnie the Pooh is in the public domain now and how he’d like to make some tits and gore version of Winnie the Pooh. This was in response to somebody else already doing just that.

Just get an original idea, Newt. It’s not that hard.

Here’s another one. The nerd on the right made the puppets and the nerd on the left thinks that she’s in Africa. I don’t know much about puppeteering but don’t the puppeteers typically wear black so as to reduce the likelihood of them being seen? Not this woman. She wants to be seen.

And they’re doing it in front of a green screen, of course. Everybody loves green screen movies. Especially amateur ones. All you need to make a movie is some puppets and a green screen.

Why not just reduce the scope of your vision and make a movie that takes place in, let’s say, a movie theatre? Or your apartment? Or the park? Or some covered bridge in rural Pennsylvania? Some place that you have access to and can make the fucking movie? No need for green screen.

This way you can focus on the script, which is where Newt needs ALL of his attention to be. Newt needs to be focusing 100% on writing a script that doesn’t suck complete ass. Forget about the exotic green screen locations or the cool zooming shots or the sexy ladies you’re going to get to hang out with. Script, Newt. Write a script that’s halfway decent. And isn’t plagiarised.

It can still be a tits and gore movie. Why not? A tits and gore movie that takes place in Newt’s apartment, for example. Topless women can’t run around Newt’s apartment covered in fake blood? Why are they running around topless and covered in blood? Because there’s some crazy person trying to kill them in Newt’s apartment. What more do you need? Why does this have to be green screened? I just wrote the movie for you.

James Rolfe has done a similar thing repeatedly. Most of his “movies” are just an inanimate object trying to kill James. But with the exception of the GOD AWFUL The Head Returns that he did a few years ago, typically it’s filmed in James’ house or whatever. Like the Mr Bucket “movie”. And it works for what it is. It’s shit but that’s just because the writing is awful and the story is simplistic beyond belief. But in terms of visuals, it’s fine. He’s filming in his house. It works. There’s no fake green screen shit.

I reviewed The Head Returns here, by the way:

Newt regularly talks about Clerks and how amazing Clerks is. I believe it was filmed in a liquor store because that’s all that the guy who made it was able to get. Maybe he worked in a liquor store. I don’t know the details. But yeah, it’s fine. If you have a decent script, you don’t need all of this extra bullshit. Indeed, by limiting yourself it forces you to focus on the dialogue being good.

But no. Let’s do a green screen rehash of something that’s been rehashed a thousand times already and wasn’t even good the first time.

What about ripping off 12 Angry Men? That might be in the public domain. Mostly takes place in one room. Just get a table, some chairs, and 11 of your gay friends. Joe from Gamesack, that other guy who looked at Newt’s dick (RGT something, I think). PVC Bondage Guy. Whoever. It would be so much more straight forward. They could crank the movie out in a day.

Because that’s another problem. Newt has all of these alleged “ideas” and projects going and…where are they? Show me the completed works of Newt Wallen.

Twelve Angry Men, you just give people the scripts, put them around your dining room table, and start filming. Done. One day. Finally, Newt has something that he can put on his film resume.

11 thoughts on “Newt is Still Working on the Puppet Plan 9 from Outer Space

  1. Him saying it’s his favorite movie ever says a lot too considering that “film” is a pile of shit pretending to be so much more to every dipshit fraud film director like Rolfe or Newt.

  2. Wasn’t he already working on “Sucks to suck” and a bunch of other films? Does he ever officially cancel a project or do they just go to the wayside unannounced?

    1. He said back in December that he’s working on 11 or 13 projects that are due out in 2023. The number changed. It was either 11 or 13. So…here we are halfway through 2023 with NO projects being released so far. It’s going to be a really busy next six months for Newt, I guess.

      1. Which leads to the «boy who cried wolf” problem. If he’s always lying or starting projects that he never completes, then why should anyone support his newest attempt? You’ll assume it will never go anywhere as well.

  3. His whole schtick on social media, usually Twitter, is replying to someone else’s post about a real movie that has actually come out, with some idea of his that rips off that movie. It’s the ultimate, “look at me. LOOK. AT ME!” type of desperation social media post. NONE of these movies he is “promoting” exist. NONE of them will EVER be released. He calls himself a director, he doesn’t even know how to operate a film camera!

    1. Oh God, I remember seeing an example of that. Such a cringey and desperate way to get attention. Dude needs to learn to advertise properly because posts like that are not gonna get him any new fans.

      Not to mention it is kinda rude. The other tweeter was talking about his film, stop trying to make the conversation about yourself Newt.

  4. Have you check out this “documentary” called Rarity? It stars all big time retro superstar hoarders. Pieces of garbage like John Hancock are in there. Destiny Matos’s favorite John is in there, James Rolfe somehow found time to be in at the very end even though he’s on the “cover” (he got paid and was handed a script) talking about how contra is like a sandwich or whatever, but Super Awkward Gal really stole the show

    At the 1:24:35 mark her part stars. It’s weird!! She says she started retro gaming 2 weeks before she met her husband and she had a retro gaming wedding and stuff. Then she pulls out a pair of Mario underwear her husband had since he was 10! Good thing they weren’t shit stained! You could mine this for weeks! I’d really like to see your take on it!

    1. That’s really weird. I was thinking about this documentary just this morning. The thought was spawned from Erin’s Twitter where Erin talked about appearin in Bobdunga’s recent abysmal “documentary”. And it occurred to me that the only reason why Bobdunga has all of these Youtubers do voices in her “documentaries” is because she wants them to promote the video.

      This then reminded me of some books where for $300 or something, they’ll put your name in the book. And it’s like a book of successful people in business. But all it is is a book of the people who paid the money to get their name in the book. I’m hazy on the details. It may be a fictional story.

      This then lead me to thinking about this “documentary” that you’re referring to. I recall James Rolfe shilling for it and saying that if you purchase the documentary through him, you get bonus footage of James Rolfe. This was a marketing strategy that the people who made this thing did. They made multiple versions of the video and included “bonus” footage which varied depending on you bought the video through. So if you got the video through John Riggs, for example, the bonus footage would be of John Riggs. It was just a way to get these “Youtubers” to promote the video.

      So I was going to include all of this information when I came to review the latest Bobdunga “documentary”. But yeah, I’ll do something on this Rarity thing. It looks promising. I didn’t realise that it was free on the internet.

      1. I recall a company, maybe more than one existed, they’d go to schools and sell books that had your kids names in it as a superstar or something like that. Obviously a scam but patents buy it so they can feel like little Jimmy is a special kid. It’s like the international star registry. It means nothing. No Star is actually named after someone but you have a certificate that says so, so it’s important to you.

        Obviously “documentaries” like this are a big circle jerk. It’s means nothing outside of this circle of YouTubers that think they are going to cash out in this stuff. The only thing keeping prices high are the next wave of people that want to imitate their favorite YouTubers and be the next person to retire on a game collection. Outside of selling to each other, I think it’s a losing bet.
        Some guys will profit only because retards send their YouTube heroes stuff in the mail for free.
        They have no value. Even the wata guy that the comments seem to hate says you can just emulate everything. You have said this too! It’s true! So he says really he’s just trading a commodity that has a value to who ever will buy it. All the footage looks like each channel recorded with their own setup and it was edited later. Look at Riggs then look at Whatever the Shoryuken kid calls himself these day and then lol at someone else. A real documentary would have traveled to each place and used the same camera throughout. Of course they promote the “movie” after it’s finished but it’s really just promoting yourself. Self promotion to fans of the one channel that made some one want to watch it.

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