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Mike doesn't know what "gg" means
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXVuMiHhHf0
3:33:00 – After complaining about a guy who said “VOD”, Mike made the following observation:
You know what else bothers me? When I’m playing a game, and I do something good in the game, and you know what people say in the chat? They go, ‘”gg”. Like, does that mean — is that “good job”, which would be “gj”? Are you saying, “good game”? Because if you’re saying, “good game”, who says, “good game”?
Imagine if it was the 90s. I’m going to go back to this again. You’re sitting next to your friend and you’re playing Super Mario World. You’re playing the game and then you beat the game. You turn to your friend and you go, “good game”. Like, what are you, a caveman? “Good game.” Who says that? Who says that? “Good game”.
You know who says that? People in the 1990s.
How can he be this clueless? This was common internet nerd terminology in 1990s online video games.
I used to play Team Fortress Classic and Star Wars Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II online. You’d see this shit. When the game ended, people would say, “gg”. Not just in that uber nerdy Star Wars shit but also in the slightly less nerdy Team Fortress Classic.
You’d see it everywhere. You’d see it on the Microsoft Zone platform where you’re playing cribbage or chess or whatever with some other nerd. When the game ended, the person would say “gg”.
In these first or third person shooters, there would be a long list of people saying “gg” at the end of the game. Some people would spam it as a sort of joke.
It gradually fell out of favour as people preferred calling the other players “faggots” or saying that they “pwned” you or that they “raped” you or whatever. The culture of the player base became cruder.
But in the 1990s, people were still interested in netiquette while surfing the Information Superhighway, so they’d say “gg”. “Good game”. It’s comes from something that people would say in real life sporting events.
I played organised basketball in school. Poorly. After every game, you’d have to slap the hand of every player on the opposing team and say “good game”. You’d see it in every sport. Baseball, pool, darts, whatever. “Good game”.
Has Mike never done any of this? How is it possible?
The first time I saw “gg”, I thought it was stupid. I didn’t like any of the internet abbreviations. “LOL” and “ROFL” and whatnot. And the punctuation smiley faces like 🙂 and whatnot. I thought that it was all stupid, internet nerd bullshit. So I didn’t use them. I didn’t use any of this stuff. I never said “LOL”, I never said “gg”, I never made a punctuation smiley face. None of this. Because I thought that this was for nerds and that the internet was for nerds.
I was right. That stuff is for nerds and so was using the internet. But I was using it. I was playing this Star Wars game on the internet in the 1990s. It doesn’t get any nerdier than that. I wasn’t above these nerds, I was one of them. I should have just embraced the whole culture.
In any event, this was over 20 years ago. I got over it. I don’t denounce people who want to say “gg” or “lol” or use emoticons or whatever.
“GG” has definitely declined, though. Maybe it’s just the games that I’m playing. I don’t really play games online any more. Team Fortress 2 was the last multi-player online game that I played and I quit about two or three years ago.
But I remember maybe ten years ago or even longer, some guy in Team Fortress 2 lamenting the fact that people don’t say “gg” any more. He was harkening back to the days when people would still say “gg” after a game to show your appreciation to the other player(s).
One problem with online video games of the era, and probably still today, is people would quit if they were losing. It’s poor sportsmanship. So if you stick through a game, even if you lose, you still deserve a “gg”. It’s how it works in grammar school athletics and it’s how it works on internet video games.
There used to be a good Jeopardy game in the late 1990s or early 2000s. It was free. It was a browser game. There was also a Wheel of Fortune game that I would play. You got to design your own little avatar and you could make your avatar smile or frown or whatever at the press of a button. It was cool. Then they got rid of it. But yeah, people said “gg” after games there.
There was also a word game, I can’t remember the name of it, but everybody would get a list of words and you had to arrange the words to make a sentence. Then you would see everybody’s word and people would vote on the funniest sentence. It was all anonymous, so you wouldn’t know who wrote what sentence until the voting was over. I really liked that game and I was good at it. Everybody would try to do lame sexual sentences, even though the words they gave you obviously tried to make it so that you can’t do that. I kept it clean and still kicked everybody’s ass. My best sentence was, “That bird smiled.” Short, simple, and funny. I remember some guy said, “I love it when birds smile.” Anyway, people would say “gg” after the game.
Mike continues, “I’ve never heard anybody say it. Ever. Lit? (laughs). It’s a sports term? Well, there you go. I’ve never heard it before.”
I don’t know how it’s possible. Forget about the sports aspect, IT’S A VIDEO GAME TERM. FROM THE 1990s.
Was he just too busy playing Super Mario Bros on his mother’s couch? The term was definitely in wide use up until at least 2005. It’s still obviously used today, as referenced by the chat using it. Somehow this has all passed him by.
He does seem to have almost no experience with first or third person online shooting games. In a stream from about a year ago, he was playing an online first person shooter with Bitch Duo. It was a Star Trek game. And Bitch Duo said that he got “telefragged”. Mike didn’t know what this meant.
But it’s not even a term just used in first or third person shooting games. It was every game. I gave examples of the wide variety of games where one could find “gg” being used. It was everything. Every game on the internet against a human being would have “gg” being used. Mike never saw any of this.
How has he avoided online video games his entire life? Just likes James Rolfe, he hasn’t moved on from Super Nintendo. Mike stopped playing video games at the SNES. It’s the only explanation.
And as for sports, I have absolutely no interest in sports, I’ve never watched a single game of anything, I hated organised sports, but I still did something. I played grade school basketball. How did Mike totally avoid all of this? What were his parents doing? I didn’t want to do this shit. I don’t recall being forced but I was encouraged to do it.
God, I was so fucking bad. The worst player by far. I couldn’t dribble at all, my shooting abilities were really poor, and my passing skills were marginal at best.
I think that I was reasonably okay at defence. I was able to get the ball from the other team a few times. Then somebody from my team would come over and take the ball from me because I literally couldn’t dribble and my passing skills weren’t good. So if I had the ball, I just couldn’t move at all. Somebody had to walk over and take the ball from me.
I only scored in one game. We were against the worst team in the league, we were ahead by like 50 points, and the coach told the team to give the ball to me so that I could shoot. So that’s what happened. As soon as somebody on my team got the ball, they would pass it to me and I’d shoot. I managed to get three shots in for six points total.
This was my athletic career. I was also did taekwondo and karate and I was way better at those things but as far as team sports, this basketball thing was it.
Oh. I also did track in grade school. Not a team sport, really. Yeah, I wasn’t good at this either but it wasn’t embarrassingly bad like with basketball. It’s just running. The 400 meters was too far for me. I’d get winded. And I wasn’t fast enough to do the 100 meters. So I did 200 meters. Is that even an event? Let me look this up.
Yeah, it is. I thought that maybe it was just something that they made up for grade school track.
So that was the track part. As for the field, I wanted to do high jump because I was reasonably tall but the coach declined. So I did long jump instead. I wasn’t good but I wasn’t getting last place. There were surely some fat kids who I was beating.
Discuss was fucking awful. I could barely even pick the thing up. Shotput, forget it. We would practice in some parking lot and it was just so terrible. Why make me do things that I’m clearly not suited for? I can run short distances and jump. Fine. Do that. Don’t make me hurl heavy objects. Work with what the kid is suited to do. Give the fat kids the shotput.
I was good at badminton, though. I played a few times in ninth grade gym, just messing around after class. I don’t think that there was a team, though. Not for boys, anyway. Maybe I could have joined the girl’s team. I’d be sort of like a pioneer. They allow girls to join boys teams now. I would have crushed those girls. Well, maybe not. But that would have been a fun thing to do. It’s too bad that there’s a gender bias around badminton in the US. I think in Asia, it’s totally normal for men to play badminton at an elite level.
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10 Black Women in Gaming You Need to Know – Pelvic Gaming
https://gaymingmag.com/2022/02/10-black-women-in-gaming-you-need-to-know/
Another Black History Month has come and gone but you wouldn’t know it from Bobdunga or Pelvic Gamer. They used to be all about Black History Month. What happened?
Fortunately, Gayming Magazine, the virtual periodical for homosexuals who just happen to play video games came through with the goods. Ten “women of colour” who YOU should know. You personally. Let’s see how many of them are actually gay.
1. Tanya Depass. Oh my fucking god. Super gay. Just look at her picture. Come on.
She’s the founder and director of something called I Need Diverse Games. What is that? I have no idea. It seems to be a blog? I guess. It has about 7,000 hits on Google, which seems low to me.
She also designed a tabletop RPG called Mother Lands. The website says, “Journey into a brighter, blacker future with Into the Mother lands, a brand-new sci-fi odyssey role-playing game, developed by a fantastic team of POC RPG designers.”
This is fucking pathetic. Has this woman achieved anything in her life other than being gay and black? And what she’s doing is so trivial. Video game shit. If she was working on racial equality or something, that might be worthwhile but…video game shit. Who cares?
2. Jay Ann Lopez. CEO of Black Girl Gamers. What the fuck is this?
The website is WAY too convoluted but if you can figure out how to navigate it, it says that it’s “A multi-platform and inclusive community powered organisation that keeps over 8000+ black women gamers safe online.”
So my original question remains. What the fuck is this?
I don’t know. It’s something for lesbians with no lives to occupy their time with. By the way, she’s also gay. This thing that she does has something to do with LQBTQA+++. Plus, she has a man’s name.
3. Keisha Howard. Founder of Sugar Gamers. I’m guessing that this will be some more nebulous bullshit.
I don’t know. It’s just a website where they have articles on nerd culture, probably stolen from elsewhere.
https://twitter.com/sugargamer?lang=en
Her pinned tweet is about mental health. That seems to be a real obsession with these gamer grrls. It’s also a real obsession of self-absorbed people generally.
Is she a lesbian? I’m thinking yes. I see a picture of her cat on Twitter. She has a weird cosplay picture as her avatar. She really seems to be into video games. Yeah, all signs point to lesbianism.
4. Latoya Peterson
I’m thinking gay right away just from the picture but maybe she’s just a big woman. Not every big woman is gay. I should be more open-minded.
She’s somehow involved with something called Glow Up Games. Let’s check it out.
Well, here’s something that I can actually understand. It’s a company who makes mobile games and they’re targeting “POC” consumers.
So what games have they made? Ummm…that’s a little harder to figure out. Oh, here it is. I think there’s just one. It’s called Insecure. You play as an inner city rap star and “connect with your inner mirror bitch to hype yourself up by building rhymes and verses to express how you feel.”
Oh. Nothing offensive here. This isn’t just trading on offensive stereotypes at all.
It’s not on Google Play. How am I supposed to play this? I want to be an inner city rap star and do something with my inner bitch.
Oh. It’s only on the Apple store. “Coming soon” to Google Play, it says. Well, you just lost a review.
So is this woman gay? Well, her Twitter is full of stuff about feminism and she describes herself as a “goddess”. So the short answer is “yes.”
5. Amira Virgil. She developed a skin tone mod for The Sims that made your character different shades of brown. Then The Sims decided to give more skin tone options in the game, and it’s suggested that her mod was the catalyst for this.
That’s it. That’s all that she seems to have accomplished. Let me look her up. There has to be more than this.
Oh, she’s on Youtube. 100,000 subscribers.
https://www.youtube.com/xmiramira
She seems to have stopped making videos on a regular basis two or three years ago. At least. Her most recent video has 537 views.
She calls herself a “content creator” but good luck finding any of this content. Her website is…just confusing. And there’s no fucking link to Twitch or whatever. So…it’s just this dead Youtube channel. That’s what makes her one of the 10 black women in “gaming” who YOU should know.
Is she gay? Well, she does give her pronouns on Twitter. They’re “she” and “her” but…just the fact that she gave them makes me ask questions. Is this a man in a dress? Anyway, something isn’t right here.
6. Lady Pelvic. The star of the show. She’s the only one who doesn’t use her real name, but her real name is used in the description. It’s not a secret but I don’t think that she advertises this.
It just says that she has a Youtube channel. I already knew that much.
Is Pelvic Gamer gay? I always thought no but now I’m not so sure. She’s on this list, after all. And everybody so far has been gay. And the site is called “Gaymers” Something.
7. Catt Small. She’s an organiser of the Game Developers of Color Expo. Sounds like a good time.
I can’t find much information about this online. I’ll just assume that it’s a nerd convention for black “gamers”.
Now let’s see if we can figure out if she’s gay or not. Well, she gives her pronouns. She and her but, again, it raises questions. I can’t find anything else on her Twitter. It’s fucking re-tweets. So is she gay? I don’t know. But she’s definitely boring.
8. Momo Pixel. Definitely gay. Don’t even have to look this one up. Just look at that picture.
She created a game called Hair Nah about a black woman who doesn’t like it when people touch her hair. I’m not joking. This isn’t the comedy stylings of David Duke. This is a real game that a real black woman made. It’s just more trading on offensive stereotypes.
Even the title of the game is in Ebonics.
The Ku Klux Klan wishes that they could come up with stuff that’s this offensive.
Oh, it’s a free browser game. Let’s check it out.
The title screen has a white hand. That’s odd. The only human body part on this title screen is of a white person.
Oh. Then you click “start” and a black hand slaps away the white hand. This is absolutely shameful.
“Aeva loves to travel but is hesitant because people often invade her personal space by touching her hair without permission.”
Is this really a problem that black women have? I don’t think so. I mean, you look at her picture and she has completely ridiculous, over the top hair. This is clearly massive overuse of hair extensions. Maybe that’s the issue. Maybe if you don’t want people touching your hair, you can tone it down a little.
Then you get to choose your skin tone. It goes from sub-Saharan African to Bobdunga. If you’re any lighter than Bobdunga, forget it. This game does not represent you. What happened to diversity in gaming?
I’ll go with the darkest one, I guess. The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Am I right, fellas? It was actually my girlfriend who I got that racist comment from. She’s a dark-skinned woman. A “POC”, you might say.
Fucking hair styles. Come on. Get on with it. I’ll go with the short afro. This way people are unlikely to touch my hair.
Now I can go to Osaka, Havana, or Santa Monica Pier. Americans can go to Havana now? I thought that there was a long-time travel embargo.
Anyway, I’m going to Osaka. If you want to see some real racism, go to Asia.
Okay, so I need to use the mouse or arrow keys to swat hands away from my hair. There’s something about a “Nah! Meter”. Whatever that is. Let’s just get into it. I’ll figure it out.
Well, I totally destroyed the first level. You have to smack Caucasian people’s hands away because Caucasian people are constantly trying to touch your hair. And they make vaguely racist comments about it like, “It’s so fluffy” and “Is it attached to your head.”. And rather than just say, “Hey, please don’t touch my hair”, you have this violent reaction.
Also, the woman who made this clearly has hair extensions. That’s not her fucking hair. So it’s NOT attached to her head. That’s a reasonable question.
In level two, you’re in a moving car, looks like like a taxi or something, and there’s still a mob of white people trying to touch your hair. Where are they coming from? Why is there a mob of white people in this taxi?
After I beat level 2, which was no small task, I got a cut screen saying, “Oh, sis. You did it.”
I was out with my girlfriend recently and an Indian man handing out gym flyers or something on the street said, “Hey, sister. Can I speak to you for a moment?” She didn’t appreciate that. We walked away and then she said, “He lost points for calling me ‘sister.’” But she didn’t rage about it like a crazy person or slap his hand away.
By the way, this game is a lot more difficult if you use the keyboard.
Level 3 is airport security. So…even security is touching your hair. And you have to slap their hands away. Let’s see how well that works out in real life.
“Come through melanin. You better show out.” That’s the cut screen after level 3. What does it mean? I don’t know. I don’t speak Ebonics.
Now I’m on the plane. There are very few people on this flight but still you have a mob of white people trying to touch your hair.
What? Then it just says, “Welcome to Osaka. You win” and there’s a message saying that this is a real issue that black women experience and you should stop doing it.
Why does the game stop at Osaka? I wanted to see what happens in Osaka. Asian people are the league champions of racism. Let’s be honest. They hold contempt for black people, white people, other Asian people, fucking everybody.
Anyway, that game was pure trash. It was also easy as fuck. No challenge to be found here. And the fun factor was zero. Graphics were shit. Sound and music were shit. It was also extraordinarily racist and highlighting an issue that doesn’t even exist.
If you want to make a game about racism, pick a scenario that actually exists.
Oh yeah. And according to this woman’s Twitter, she’s not only gay, she’s also a giant fucking moron who barely speaks English.
9. Stephanie Ijoma
Oh baby. Here we go. She can smack me any time. She’s the founder of NNESAGA. Let’s look it up. It’s going to be some bullshit.
I have no idea what this is. I think it’s just this woman’s handle on various platforms. Youtube and Twitch and whatnot.
Oh. It’s an “e-sports platform”. Whatever that means. Here’s a picture of her on Channel 4 News with her breasts out.
https://twitter.com/nnesaga/status/1155546056102428675
What a gamer! She’s on the second biggest news platform in the country, she’s talking about video games, and she’s wearing half a dress. She’s also wearing a pound of makeup.
What message is this sending? Girls are watching this, they enjoy video games, and they think, “Oh, this is what female gamers have to do. They have to dress like prostitutes.”
Anyway, that’s one for the spank bank.
Is she a lesbian? Let’s hope not. I’m hoping that she’s single, straight, and sexually promiscuous.
No pronouns. Good. I’m not actually seeing ANY tweets by her, but she re-tweets shit CONSTANTLY, many, many, times a day, and it just looks like boring video game shit. So I’m just going to say that she’s not gay because I want a chance at those titties.
10. Brittney M Morris. She’s a novelist and “games narrative designer”.
Yeah, I don’t know. It seems that she wrote some books, works in the video game industry somehow, and she gives her pronouns (she/her). Good for her.
So those are ten gamers who just happen to be black and women who you should all know. None of them seemed to be doing anything particularly earth-shattering or even impactful in any small way but…this is the list. Happy Black History Month, everyone.
Let’s hope that we get some black women doing better stuff for next year. Stuff that matters. Stuff that’s going to make a difference in improving not just the lives of black people but society in general.
And I want bigger tits next year. I want porn star Maserati to come out of retirement and start streaming Minecraft. Or maybe make a game where you have to slap the hands away of people who are trying to touch your boobs.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei try out Infernax! The new Castlevania inspired indie game – Erin Plays (part 2 of 2)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U2T51Vo1qA
Here’s part 1:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/02/erin-plays-and-mike-matei-try-out.html
I left off at 30:00.
31:30 – Erin yawns and Mike looks at her. She wants nothing to do with this. Plus, apparently, they were streaming this in the middle of the night.
Mike gave Erin the controller after noticing her yawn. Now Erin is in a town and she keeps trying to kill the townspeople. She’s been doing this since the game started. At first, I figured, “Okay, she doesn’t know that these aren’t enemies. She’s never played this before, of course. Maybe she’s just trying to see if they talk if you press a certain button. Fine.” But she still hasn’t figured this out?
52:15 – Mike says that the game reminds him of Castlevania and asks Erin if she’s familiar with the game. She says that she is. Mike suggests that it’s an obscure game that only he knows. Erin says that it’s a “hidden gem”, which is a surprising actual joke from Erin.
But then she ruins it by saying, “That, my friends, is called sarcasm.” Like we’re too fucking stupid to realise this. Even the horntards all got it.
By the way, I haven’t been leaving many comments because Erin hasn’t said anything too embarrassing and she’s surprisingly semi-competent at the game. She even seems to know how the map works. Dare I say that this video is watchable. I’m actually being entertained here.
53:45 – “I just had a vision of the future. She said she’s never played it, but I’ve seen her play Castlevania.”
She’s still on this. Who is she talking about? I obviously wouldn’t say that and the horntards can’t possibly be this stupid.
1:05:30 – Shout out to Shishi. He’s even there in the middle of the fucking night.
1:17:30 – Erin has been trying to find a particular area in the game in order to do a quest for at least the past 45 minutes. Mike keeps telling her that it doesn’t matter and to just keep wandering around.
I have to say that Erin is right on this. Figure out where that fucking barn is. You know it can’t be in the current area because you just entered a different town or whatever.
1:25:00 – Erin gives up because of her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
1:25:30 – Mike says, “As you guys know, Erin has been having carpal tunnel…ummm….problems.”
He’s nearly laughing. So is Erin. Everybody knows that this is a giant lie.
1:27:45 – “Should I go get my ice pack and sit here.”
This is brutal. This is a fucking scam. There’s nothing wrong with her hands and/or wrists.
Oh my god. She’s actually getting it.
1:28:45 – Yeah. She’s strapping something on to her wrist. This is fucking ridiculous. Just turn the stream off and do something with your life. This is fucking idiotic.
1:32:30 – They’ve been arguing about saving the game for the past ten minutes or so. Erin completed a quest by beating some mini-boss on a bridge but didn’t save and then she died. So they have to repeat that little quest again. Erin doesn’t know what they’re talking about and Mike is getting really annoyed because he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on and why the chat keeps mentioning that they didn’t save. “I just saved. Why do they keep telling me to save” and whatnot. So Erin gets annoyed at Mike because she’s just relaying what the chat is saying and Mike isn’t getting it.
1:33:00 – Then just by chance, they’re on this bridge again and can do this quest.
1:34:00 – Mike beats this mini-boss and the quest updates, telling him to go back to some town. Erin says, “There’s a save to the right” and Mike just repeats what the quest told him to do. So Erin just rolls her eyes and gives up.
But again, she’s right. They should just fucking save first. This is what the chat has been talking about.
It’s a sad day when Erin knows more about video games than Mike. She’s sitting there with an ice pack on her wrist, tending to her fake carpal syndrome, and she knows more about the basic mechanics of video games than Mike does.
1:36:00 – Mike got back to this area to finish the quest but he’s not saving. The chat must be going mental.
Then Mike starts complaining because after you complete a quest, you have to go back to the person who gave you the quest to get your reward. He suggests that the person who gave the quest should come to you to give the reward.
Erin, rightly, points out that the person giving the quest can’t leave the town because they’re not equipped to deal with all of the monsters that inhabit the world. Mike agrees but complains about “backtracking.”
This is the fucking game. This is a basic mechanic of RPGs. How can he not know this? And why is Erin schooling him on the logic to all of this?
1:37:15 – Mike says, “I don’t know what a mini-quest is” and then Erin explains it to him.
What the fuck is going on? Is he just too sleep deprived? Maybe get a job, Mike. Get a job and do this shit in your spare time. Get a normal sleep schedule. This is not healthy. He’s been unemployed and sleeping whenever he wants for over ten years. It messes you up.
Then Erin takes the controller from Mike and immediately goes to the save spot while Mike babbles about not knowing what’s going on.
This is unbelievable. This is the Bizarro stream. Erin is the one who knows what she’s doing and Mike is the fucking idiot.
1:43:00 – Mike told a story about how he saw a Judas Priest concert with James but didn’t know who the band was. So Erin is telling Mike all about Judas Priest. Then she suggests that they should go to a concert together. She’s not talking specifically about Judas Priest, she’s talking about any concert.
Why is this not something that they’ve done before? The only things that Erin has any interest in are Disney and 1990s pop music. She’s gone to Disneyland and Disney World dozens of times since she got with Mike. Why no 1990s pop music shit?
There was some concert that Erin mentioned on Twitter recently. It was a bunch of gay 2000s boybands and shit. Why didn’t they go to that?
I know that this is a sugardaddy situation but can it really just be about the buttsex? Doesn’t he get bored of that? Fucking do something. At some point, she’s going to decide that Joe from Gamesack would make a better sugardaddy.
So that’s the stream. I wouldn’t say that the two hours flew by but it was it was a lot more enjoyable than most of the complete trash that Erin produces.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei try out Infernax! The new Castlevania inspired indie game – Erin Plays (part 1 of 2)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U2T51Vo1qA
0:00 – “We’re going to be trading off here and there because of my hands.”
Always good to start the stream off with a lie. Mike has none of it. He always has a look of disdain when Erin talks about her fake maladies.
0:45 – They’re at the name select screen and there’s a default name there.
Erin: Should that be my name? Alcedor? I’m kind of down. Or should I make it Erin?
Mike: Whatever you want.
Erin: Oh…
Mike: You know what I think you should do? I think that you should make it — what would be a funny word that you could put in?
Erin: I don’t know, Mike. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Mike: I don’t know. What are you thinking?
Erin: Were you going to say “casserole”?
Mike: “Casserole would be a perfect word to put in. Why don’t you do that?
Erin: I don’t know if it will fit.
Mike: Because “casserole” is a really funny word.
Erin: How do I go back? Oh, like that. Wow.
And she hit the underscore option because she’s an idiot.
Nice shout out to the blog, though. It’s a reference to this article:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/02/casserole-full-breakdown-erin-plays.html
It was one of my better ones. Something different.
Erin: What if I spell it wrong?
Mike: Don’t you agree, chat?
Erin: I don’t know how to get rid of that underscore.
Mike: Oh, the entire chat just lit up. Everybody thinks that “casserole” is the funniest word. I agree.
Erin: Good. I’m so glad. Does that look right, everybody?
Then there’s an edit. Fortunately, Erin didn’t put this video behind a paywall so we can see what she edited out.
Erin: Did I spell that right or are you going to check?
Mike: I’m going to check.
Erin: Because sometimes, and this is like in real life, people will be like, “Erin, you’re an English major” and it’s like, “Yes, but I don’t remember how to spell every single word.”
I find it interesting that she refers to herself as an “English major” as opposed to somebody who has a degree in English. Did she not graduate?
1:45 – Then there’s an option between regular mode or easy mode. Erin, of course, wants to put it on easy mode but Mike convinces her to put it on normal mode.
When referencing regular mode, Erin says that it’s for players, “Like you or I because we’re pro gamers” and she looks into the camera. “Me too. Right?”
Erin is playing into the obvious fraudulent nature of what she’s doing.
2:30 – Erin starts reading the intro story and the word “_casserole” appears frequently. She gets a bit uncomfortable with this fairly quickly.
Oh, in case it needs to be said, Erin is really bad at the game. She gets hit a lot, even by these introductory enemies.
4:15 – “Don’t let me play too long because I don’t want to regret it later.”
Yeah. Keep a close watch on her, Mike. You don’t want to Erin to get too engrossed in this video game that she just can’t put it down. She has carpal tunnel syndrome, after all.
5:30 – Another edit. It’s just Erin talking about how she regularly restarts the streams and then when she puts the videos on Youtube, she edits them to shit. It’s true. This was all edited out, though.
7:00 – Another shout out to her carpal tunnel syndrome. She’s afraid to “dash” in some Castlevania game. She’s only playing this game because she’s using some special controller.
8:30 – “Should I go down these holes or should I just keep walking.”
Mike doesn’t know what to say. These “holes” are presumably pits that lead to your death. Erin is so inexperienced with video games that she doesn’t know this.
9:45 – Erin is quoting from “Scott Pilgrim”. Whatever that is. Some movie that Tony from Summarise the Movies recently did a video on. I really doubt that Erin watched that “review” but maybe she saw Tony advertise it on Twitter or something. So now Erin is all about Scott Pilgrim. She always just picks up whatever she happened to see recently and then she tries to pass herself off as an expert on that thing.
10:00 – There’s a locked inn and Erin says, “There are probably awful things going on in that motel.” Some kind of sex half-joke. But for Erin, this is a real improvement. It was almost a joke. Some kind of innuendo. It wasn’t just “casserole” or “X looks like Y” or whatever.
11:45 – Erin died to, I believe, the first boss so she gives the controller to Mike. She wants nothing to do with this.
14:45 – Oh, you can just go down into those pits. Erin was right.
16:00 – There’s one of those delightful “Later” graphics that Spongebob was famous for. Erin uses this shit a lot. It’s so lazy and unfunny. But at least it’s a clear indication that she’s editing stuff out. I’d check to see what she’s editing out but I don’t even care. I’m just trying to get to 30 minutes so that I can end this for today.
27:00 – Erin badly mispronounced “alms”.
28:15 – Mike asks Erin if she knows where “dingoes ate my baby” is from. Naturally, she does not. He then says, “Seinfeld”.
I don’t think that that’s right. I know what he’s talking about but it must have been a reference to something else. Let me look this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingo_ate_my_baby
It was something that was at least sort of said during a murder trial in Australia in 1980. Then there was a 1988 film called Evil Angels, based on this case, that is presumably what was being referenced in Seinfeld.
So that’s 30 minutes. I’ll stop there. Erin actually did a half-way decent job. She killed a boss on the first attempt. She was able to mostly kill the enemies without getting hit. So good for her.
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Big Wheels – Pegwarmers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twX1DatShls
Hey guys! Remember Big Wheels?
I do remember Big Wheels. I didn’t have one, though. That was ghetto as shit. An all-plastic tricycle? Even the wheels are plastic? How are you going to get any traction out of that? You couldn’t. A saw a neighbour boy use these. The wheel would just spin as he peddled and he’d be stationary. He had to have a running start before it would move.
I had a much better tricycle type thing. It had a long frame, maybe twice as long as a Big Wheel and, crucially, the front wheel was made of rubber. Also, you didn’t pedal, it had a system where you pressed up and down with your feet. I don’t know what it’s called. There were pedals but instead of pedalling in a circle, you just moved the pedals up and down, alternating.
You could really get some speed on that thing. Especially if somebody was pushing from behind. And then you’d brake, which locked the front tyre, and you’d spin because the back tyres were plastic.
It was pretty cool but I don’t know what it was. I think that it came from Europe. Somebody stole it when I was a kid so I can’t look it up. They broke into our garage and took it. That was the only thing they took. Who would steal a children’s tricycle? And it was way after I stopped using it because I was probably like 12 when it happened so it couldn’t have been a jealous child. I hadn’t used that thing in years.
But yeah, Big Wheels were shit. Same with Power Wheels, those motorised little cars. They were just loud and slow and only the most spoiled children got them. I didn’t even want one. This tiny, loud piece of shit that goes slower than my walking pace? No thanks.
0:00 – Oh, it’s this weird old man with his weird younger wife. I’ve never managed to watch one of these before. It’s just too uncomfortable.
2:00 – This guy makes a Madonna reference. Come on. I know that he’s from a different era but just don’t make popular culture references if all of your references are this out of date.
10:45 – He makes a Battle of Aleppo reference. Hey guys! Remember the Battle of Aleppo?
No. What? Does he mean the one from 1918 or the one from 2012-2016? With this guy, you can’t be sure.
11:15 – “It’s not one of us 30ish, 40ish year old guys wanting to buy toys.”
This guy with the long grey beard said that. Who does he think he’s kidding?
He’s also really rude to his wife. Constantly talking over her and making snide comments. Is it even his wife? I’m just guessing.
51:00 – This guy says that by 1983, he was eight years old. So…wow, that’s terrifying. He’s 48. Well, I suppose that’s about right, actually.
Anyway, the video is…whatever. They had a clip of some really socially awkward woman talking about her Big Wheel. And now they’re just looking at pictures of Big Wheels and knock off Big Wheels. Licensed shit.
These are all shit. I’d be embarrassed as fuck riding around on a licensed Big Wheel. I’d be embarrassed riding a Big Wheel in general but especially if it was one with a giant plastic Smurf head on it or something. Who would want these? But these people are going on about how awesome they are.
I don’t think it’s just me either. I had my European three-wheeled vehicle because I was a sophisticated kid but even the fucking rubes in the neighbourhood didn’t have licensed Big Wheels.
I remember a kid wanted a Green Machine and he showed pictures of it and everything. This was kind of like Big Wheel but clearly a step up. It was by Huffy. No branding, no fucking cartoon characters on it, and it looks cool. It had levers to steer as opposed to a handlebar. They still sell them, apparently.
That kid never got one but he got a regular Big Wheel. It was black or some muted colour. No licensed bullshit. He was happy with that.
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Nintendo Power Volumes 32 and 34: Castlevania IV and A Link to the Past! – Erin Plays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnb1SXgXKqk
0:00 – She’s appearing on screen as well as the magazines. This is new, I think. Previously, it was just the magazines. No video of Erin. Let me check.
Oh. No. In some of her earlier streams, it was just the magazine but at least by October, she was also appearing on screen. People had to see her “sexy” costumes, after all.
So yeah, this is good. The horntards need to see Erin in order to jerk off. Not just her gnarled carpal tunnel hands.
“We recently got these.”
She’s talking about the magazines. “We” recently got these. Mike purchased them for Erin to have something to stream.
“I didn’t go through them, you know, totally, because I’m saving that for now.”
Plus, you have absolutely no fucking interest in this shit. Why would you? I’m a video game enthusiast and I don’t give a fuck about old Nintendo Powers. I wouldn’t buy one. I wouldn’t look at one if somebody gave it to me for free. It would go straight in the trash.
She edited something out straight away but when I went to Twitch to see what she cut out, I noticed that she has a number of videos behind a paywall now. Previously, I thought it was just that video where she “reacts” to her old videos. I talk about that here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/02/erin-is-putting-her-twitch-videos.html
But no. She has a few videos behind a paywall. A couple of videos where she looks through old video game magazines. Not this one with the Nintendo Powers, this video is free, but she has a couple of other ones that you have to pay to watch. She also has a “just chatting” stream behind a paywall.
Who would possibly pay for this shit?
I’m looking at the chat on Twitch for this latest video and lots of people are talking about subscribing. One guy can’t understand why he’s seeing ads until he realises that his subscription ended. So he plans on renewing it. Another guy wants to know how you can subscribe for six months instead of just one. So people are doing it. It’s baffling but that’s the reality.
1:00 – This is maybe the most insane edit ever. She edited out about two seconds of footage where she just swayed from side to side for a little bit. Why? Was she that self-conscious about the swaying? Of all the things that Erin should be embarrassed about, it’s this two seconds of swaying that she decided to edit out.
2:00 – After saying that she didn’t have some stupid shit that’s being advertised in the magazine (of course) there’s another edit. She edited out a horntard asking if it’s possible to “bulk subscribe.”
She also edited out…you know, this is completely idiotic. She’s editing EVERYTHING out. This seems to be what she does now. It’s totally unwatchable.
I’ll just watch this edited version. I can’t be bothered checking every minute to see what she edited out. It’s not like we’ll be lacking embarrassing content from the stuff she left in. EVERYTHING is embarrassing.
5:45 – She says that she’s going to be drinking a lot of water during this stream because of her “allergies”. It’s been “super windy”. The wind is somehow affecting her allergies. I have no idea. It’s all made up bullshit anyway. She doesn’t have allergies.
6:30 – Oh my god. She’s reading the fucking ad. And it’s a long ad. And she’s boring as fuck.
Then she reads the names of these Megaman bosses. She clearly doesn’t recognise any of them. One of them is Ring Man.
This unlocks some pornographic *nostalgia* for me. I read an interview from Rocki Roads in a copy of Busty Beauties from 1997. She mentioned wanting to fornicate with “Ringman”. This was her “boyfriend”/pimp. He was in some movies with her. And I remember he had a disgusting tattoo but I can’t remember what it was now. Let me look this up.
Oh my god. Yeah. He had a tattoo on the head of his penis. It makes it looks like he’s diseased.
I saw something on Reddit that suggested that Miss Roads is some homeless drug addict now. It’s unfortunate.
Speaking of Reddit, I saw a post recently talking about MrSaturn33. This was a former moderator on TheCinemassacreTruth. Here’s his profile:
https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSaturn33
He’s still around. But nowadays, instead of talking about Cinemassacre, he’s talking about trying to move to France based on his grandmother being “born in France”. The nerds on Reddit give him shit for this and tell him that simply being born in a country doesn’t mean that she was a citizen. But…I mean…that’s true but it’s likely that she was a citizen. Why else would she be born in France? She was probably born in France to French parents. He also says that he has distant relatives who live in France.
So there’s possibly something there. If you have a grandparent who was a citizen, some countries will give you a visa to work in the country. Or something. It might be two grandparents. You have to look it up. Contact the embassy. But don’t go to Reddit for your information from those fucking losers.
MrSaturn33 also is REALLY into old school masturbating. He enjoys masturbating but feels that internet porn isn’t where it’s at. He considers masturbating without internet porn to be sort of a mid-ground between the “no fap” crew and your run of the mill modern masturbators.
I believe that he considers the “no fap” crew to be “liberals” or something. He seems to rail against “leftists” and “feminists” and the usual “right-wing” talking points in a lot of his posts. He mentions a book regularly that he says gets banned from these “no fap” sub-reddits because it encourages just jacking off to magazines or what have you.
I don’t quite understand the point of any of this. He’s clearly a troubled fellow. These are the sort of people who become moderators on Reddit, by the way. But it’s an intriguing idea.
What if instead of not masturbating at all, which is unrealistic, you just went old school and used magazines? Get that 1997 copy of Busty Beauties out. I think that I could do it. For a month, anyway. I still have my collection somewhere. Some of that *nostalgic* jerking off.
Anyway, this guy is WAY too interested in onanism. And he obviously made it some kind of moralistic thing. Same as those “no fap” people do. If you want to jerk off, go jerk off. Nobody gives a shit. You can jerk off in France, you can jerk off to Ann Coulter, you can jerk off to Bootsy, you can jerk off to old copies of the Sears catalogue, you can jerk off to National Geographic, nobody fucking cares. Get your life together, you crazy nut.
Let’s get back to another mentally ill person who doesn’t have her life on track: Erin Plays.
7:45 – “Here we have Monster in My Pocket.” I really like this game.”
She played it one time in her entire life. On stream, for money. Poorly. She “really likes” it.
“I think that I played the whole thing through on stream. I think it was on stream.”
Where else would it possibly be? In case anybody is new here, I am NOT exaggerating when I say that Erin only plays games on stream, for money. That’s literally what she does. She never plays ANY game in her spare time AT ALL. She’s never played ANY game in her spare time in her entire life. Her entire video game experience is what you see in the Youtube videos and what she’s played on Twitch.
8:15 – A horntard asks what Dust Man in that Mega Man game does so Erin goes back and reads the description. Poorly. For what seems like an eternity.
She clearly has never played the game before, by the way.
9:15 – Erin yawns, clearly already bored with this bullshit, and then says, “I haven’t played Mega Man IV yet.”
Well, do a stream on it then. Then for the rest of your life, you can recommend the game to everybody and talk about a what a pro you are. From that single time that you played the game, on stream, for money. This is what she does.
9:45 – Erin is talking about her fondness for games where you’re a tiny character playing in a normal human-sized world. Like you’re a little character in a normal person’s kitchen and the dishware is comparatively huge.
“Maybe it’s because when I was younger, I really liked that little animation they’d show on Sesame Street where you’re the little man in the glass in the kitchen. It’s from, like, the 70s, I think. I always forget the name of it.”
Oh here we go with Erin “always” “forgetting” something again. Maybe because it’s made up bullshit and you don’t actually give a fuck about this.
Then there’s an edit and she inserts a picture of this guy and his name. Teeny Little Super Guy. I’ve never seen this in my life and I’m ten years older than Erin. How did she see it?
She must have watched this recently upon Mike’s insistence. Mike also enjoys imaginary *nostalgia* for things that happened before he was born, particularly Sesame Street.
This is what she does. Mike will force her to watch some old show from before even he was born, they’ll watch one episode, and then on the very next stream, Erin will talk about what she just saw and claim to be a long-time fan of this thing as well as an expert on it. And she’ll “always” “forget” minor details like the person’s name.
It’s like the stream where she was suddenly an expert on The Match Game, having watched a single episode recently, upon Mike’s insistence, and couldn’t even remember the name of the host. She called him “Ray Borne”. The man’s name is Gene Rayburn.
Why does everything have to be fake with her? She has genuine interests: Disney and 1990s pop music. Talk about that. Why is it such a problem? Why the constant lies?
“But you guys know what I mean, I’m sure.”
No. I’ve never seen this character, Erin. Not once. I even looked up the video. Doesn’t ring a bell at all. I found it disturbing and unpleasant so I turned it off after a few seconds.
But she doesn’t know any better so she thinks that people of Mike’s age, which is probably about the average age of the viewers, know all about this shit. They don’t. And she doesn’t. It’s from the 1970s. You’d have to be in your 50s to recognise this character. And even then, you’d have to remember something that you watched as a toddler.
All of this Sesame Street *nostalgia* is totally invented. Not just by Erin but by everyone. How can you be *nostalgic* for a show that you watched as a three year old? If you have any memories of Sesame Street, you were watching that shit when you were way, way too old. Maybe you were home sick from school or maybe you were some weird loser who had your parents tape the episodes for you so that you could watch them after school. But otherwise, you would have absolutely zero memories of Sesame Street.
So I’m at 11 minutes. She’s on Tecmo Super Bowl. She never played it before, of course.
I don’t want to watch any more of this right now. Should I continue this snoozefest in another article? Probably not. Why give her the attention?
– “Horrible lighting. Magazine on an angle & bottom half blurry. Can’t read the text from the glare. Poor production all way round. But the other camera looks good on you right?”
Erin replies, “I address both of those issues in text on the video upload. It was a live stream, so it wasn’t perfect due to the angle I had to film it. If this was an actual video and not a live stream, it would be easier to make it look nice. It gets more focused during the 2nd magazine. And here’s a tip: You can leave a comment pointing out issues/mistakes without ending it with a shitty sarcastic sentence ;)”
He’s right. The magazine was impossible to read. I didn’t mention it because I don’t give a shit. I have no interest in reading it anyway.
– “Such a cool girl… I love her!!!”
And when I say “horntard”, it’s not a joke. These people are legitimately mentally retarded. And horny. Maybe they should try the MrSaturn33 masturbation idea.
It fits the theme. *Nostalgia*. People also enjoyed *nostalgia* in the 1990s. That’s the way of things. People always seem to enjoy *nostalgia*, whatever the year.
I remember in Juggs, there was a section called, “What got grandpa hard” and there would be a black and white picture from the 1920s or whatever of some big-titted flapper. So this has been going on forever.
– “Reading Nintendo Power while wearing a Sailor Moon shirt. You’re pushing my 90s nostalgia radar to the limit here.”
Oh yeah. I also forgot to mention her shirt.
But yeah. *Nostalgic* masturbation. Why not?
I wouldn’t be down with the stuff from before I was born, though. We’re talking about the 1970s. No. That doesn’t work for me. Different hygiene standards back then.
I had an idea of digitally altering 1970s porn to make the pubic hair less pronounced. Like how Star Wars was digitally remastered, for example, and they added aliens and whatnot. You wouldn’t have to remove all of the hair, just trim it down a bit. Give the women Brazilians. I think that this would make the porn much more palatable to today’s audience.
Anyway, these losers are masturbating to Erin Plays. When you think about it, that’s really old school. Back when you’d jerk off to a picture of Dolly Parton on the cover of TV Guide or something. Masturbating to a fully clothed woman. That would be a next level challenge.
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CONVENTION | Lumicon 2019 – Pelvic Gaming
(Originally published January 2020)
This is one of the more noteworthy videos that Pelvic Gamer ever did. She goes to a nerd convention and it’s just full of weird sexual stuff. I’m not talking about normal sexual stuff. She’s apparently into really weird stuff.
This is the video where she dressed up as a man and said that she was going to seduce herself. I referenced this many times subsequently. She also suggests that she’s into “weird butt stuff.”
She also hangs out with some horntards, some of whom came from Minnesota to Florida just to be with Pelvic Gamer, and she’s there with these giant losers AND her boyfriend. These horntards don’t have a clue.
It’s too bad that she doesn’t make videos like this any more. They were massively embarrassing but if she was still putting out videos like this, she’d definitely be the number two gamer grrl in terms of “interesting” content, secondly only to Erin, and possibly even above Erin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARBH4sxyK5w
I recently reviewed a Pelvic Gamer video and was shocked to see that it WASN’T full of weird sex references. “Maybe she’s cleaned up her act. Maybe I was wrong to think that she does heavily-sexualised content.”
No, I was right. Take this video from two weeks ago, for example. A simple video about her time at a gaming convention, right?
0:00 – Her usual sexualised intro
1:15 – After talking about some bizarre Final Fantasy cosplay/dance shit, she talks about an adults only…fuck…I don’t know. Some cosplay…rave…with…fuck. I don’t know. She says that she was too old to attend. I hate when people say this stupid shit. She’s maybe 27.
Then she starts talking about something called “AHA” or “After Hours Affair” where, “We watch our favourite video game and anime characters dress all sexy on stage.” She talks about how excited she got to touch the abdominal muscles of some sad bastard in a Final Fantasy outfit.
This is pathetic. Who would go to these things? How big of a nerd does somebody have to be to want to watch losers dressed up as anime characters doing “sexy” stuff? It’s completely beyond my comprehension.
2:00 – She did a convention with some dude I never heard of and the subject was “Your waifu is trash.” They would ask the audience who their favourite female anime character is and then talk shit about the character. “Husbandos” (or something) were also included. These are male anime characters, presumably. Something for the gay nerds out there. I assume that there weren’t any heterosexual women in attendance.
Who…how much are tickets to this thing? $25 for a one day pass, daytime only. That’s like the cheapest ticket. There’s also stuff that goes on at night, as mentioned previously. “Nerds after dark” shit.
People are paying $25…I mean…for this? Twenty-five bucks to see a couple of nobodies talk shit about anime characters. “Faye Valentine is a whore”. I mean…it’s insane. Who the fuck is going to this? Who’s paying money? Who’s wasting their time on this shit? Stay at home and jerk off to Ghost in a Shell. It would be a much more productive use of your time, much more entertaining, and COSTS NOTHING.
2:45 – She participates in that childhood game where you put a ball (or Chocobo-shaped balloon in this case) between your legs and try to waddle across. She does a terrible job of it. This is insane, what adult wants to do this shit, what adult is PAYING to do this shit, but whatever. Way more baffling shit goes on here.
4:00 – Then she shows some losers in cosplay and claims that this is her favourite part of the convention. But she also said that “After Hours Affair” was her favourite part, so take it for it’s worth.
She’s rubbing on dudes who…I guess are dressed as video game or anime characters.
4:15 – And then…I feel like I have to give a warning. I’m going to talk about some fucked up shit. If you’re already squeamish at this shit so far, please do not continue.
Lady Pelvic dresses up as some anime that nobody has ever heard of. It’s just a police uniform and a blonde wig. AND IT’S A DUDE!
“I recommend this anime if you’re into weird shit. Like super weird shit. Like weird butt stuff shit.”
Then there are numerous videos of Lady Pelvic in a hotel room rubbing her buttocks in front of an unmade bed.
She tells us that she was wearing a “binder”. I assume that this is something to make her breasts smaller, but she’s pretty small anyway.
“The best part was seducing myself because I was a pretty Vichy (or something) boy”.
I’m not sure what Nazi-controlled France has to do with anything but…fuck…come on. She’s…she’s talking about dressing as a man, some obscure hentai character…and then…having sex with herself. That’s what she’s saying right? This is happening. She actually released a video about this and it’s all documented. There are fucking videos of her as this character and she’s saying all of this shit.
It’s insane. Does she ever plan to get a job? How can she even go out in public after releasing this? And it’s not just this video, she’s been releasing disgusting videos where she’s dry humping Link plushes and the like FOR YEARS.
I mean…let’s say that she was just making videos about video games and anime. Pretty embrassing, right? “Oh, you’re a huge nerd who really likes video games and anime. I don’t think that I want to be around you.”
But she’s posting highly sexualised content about video games and anime. She’s talking about how aroused she gets by video game and anime characters. She’s doing stuff with these dolls and action figures and plush novelties. It’s unbelieveable.
And you know who’s watching? Fucking nobody. She’s doing this for a handful of even more pathetic sexual deviants. According to Socialblade, she’s getting $250/year from Youtube.
This is going back a few years, but people used to talk about the embarrassing shit that Tom Green would do. Sucking on a cow’s udder and whatnot. “How can he embarrass himself like that? Doesn’t he have any dignity?”
That man was making millions of dollars. Pelvic Gamer is doing what I consider to be much more embarrassing shit for $250/year.
4:45 – Then she talks about a couple of hardcore losers who came to this convention. One guy is a moderator of her Discord and the other guy…fuck…I don’t know. Just some other loser. It’s the equivalent of Shishi to Erin Plays.
So these two virgins travelled from Minnesota and somewhere else to Florida just to hang out with Pelvic Gamer. You can see a picture of these gentlemen at 5:00. This is probably the closest that these guys have ever been to a woman. By the way, I think that Pelvic Gamer lives in Florida so she didn’t travel far for this thing.
Then the rest of the video is about her hanging out with these losers. And I think her boyfriend is also there, which really adds to the weirdness. Some cuckold shit. And…it’s just fucking sad. It’s the saddest shit you’ll ever see. This is the highlight of their lives. “Wow! I get to hang out with a woman for a few days. I can’t believe it!”
So…how to summarise? It’s pathetic, it’s bizarre, and everybody involved with this should re-evaluate their lives. I say that genuinely. What the fuck are you doing with your life that you’re going to something like this? Why would this be appealing to anyone? There has to be a mental health element to all of this.
Edit: Here’s a giant nerd doing a video on this convention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eslWEtn25-g
You could not pay me enough to be there.
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REVIEW | Kirbys Extra Epic Yarn – Pelvic Gaming
(Originally published January 2020)
Note::I’ve got some personal errands to attend to so I’ll be taking the next two or three days off. In the meantime, please enjoy some “classic” Gamer Grrls content.
This was maybe the earliest mention of me being disappointed with Pelvic Gamer’s videos. Pelvic Gamer used to do really bizarre, sexual videos but it seems like as soon as I started writing about her videos, she stopped doing that. She just switched to normal (and boring) reviews.
For a long time, I held out hope that she’d go back to this insane sexual content but she never went back. Finally, I had to effectively remove her from my rotation of gamer grrls because the videos are just too boring. There’s nothing to say about them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAN8lj2QmF4
She reviews Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn. That’s it. No sex talk, no profanity, no talking about how she likes women who eat ass, none of that shit. Isn’t that wild? She just did a normal review of a video game. And she was dressed normally.
I couldn’t believe it. I kept waiting. “She’s going to dry hump a Kirby plush any minute now. Right?” No. No humping of any kind. She just talked about the game. Stuff she liked, stuff she didn’t like. Talked about the music, talked about the gameplay, talked about the graphics. The usual stuff. It was like an article from PC Gamer circa 1992 where they’d review games on the same criteria. She didn’t expressly mention “fun factor” but that was probably included in this review too.
Was it interesting? Well, I learned about the game. I don’t play these games so I’m perhaps not the target audience. But I can see somebody finding this useful and/or entertaining.
But…her viewers seem to be predominantly horny dudes aged 25 to 40. So why would they want to watch this? The comment section was mostly comments about the game. But…I don’t know.
Is there a market for these videos? Why would I watch Pelvic Gamer’s review of Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn as opposed to…I don’t know…anyone else doing these reviews? I don’t watch any game reviews so I fully appreciate that I’m not in the target demographic and don’t know anything about the subject of Youtube video game reviews. There must be millions of people doing this, though. I would think that you have to carve out a niche. “I’m the retro video game reviewer who makes out with stuffed animals.” I mean…that’s certainly novel. Can’t be many people doing that.
But there must be thousands or millions of “Youtubers” out there cranking out this sort of fairly high-quality content and getting 1000 views. I’m sure that it’s frustrating and that’s when the “dancing for my Patreons” and “Power Pad porn” stuff comes in. But I think the simple fact of the matter is that there’s not a big enough audience for this stuff. Horny losers 25 to 40 years of age with some kind of game grrl fetish? There can’t be too many of these people out there. And there are LOADS of channels trying to tap into this tiny demographic. The horny losers with a gamer grrl fetish are MASSIVELY over-served.
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Hello Neighbor and Who Framed Roger Rabbit – Talk About Games – Mike Matei
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usye1hEk5cY
1:00 –
Mike: Did you watch Mr Rogers Neighborhood growing up?
Ryan: You know what, I watched it a good bit as a kid, to be totally honest, because, like, I think, like we didn’t have cable until later, so, like PBS was where it was at. So you had like your Sesame Streets and your Who Framed —
Mike: Did you watch Bob Ross?
Ryan: Yes. I did. Actually, my mom —
Mike: I like how you were about to say “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”
Ryan: I mean, yeah, Mr Rogers. You know, my mom paints like water colour and oil paintings and stuff like that. So yeah, Bob Ross was on in the house. You know what I didn’t watch? I didn’t watch 3-2-1 Contact but I would see the ad for it.
Mike: How about The Frugal Gourmet?
Ryan: No, I haven’t heard of that one.
Mike: There was a lot of programming back then. I grew up on, like, I guess early Sesame Street, 80s Sesame Street. Then I watched a lot of Mr Rogers growing up. I loved watching the segments with Mr Rogers but when it would go to the Neighborhood of Make Believe, then I would kind of tune out for that. Like, I kind of liked some of the characters, like Daniel Tiger who got his own cartoon later or whatever.
Ryan: Right.
Mike: Some of the characters were cute, X the Owl was cute, but a lot of those puppets were really disturbing.
More fake *nostalgia* by Mike. For reference, I’m like two years older than Mike.
Frugal Gourmet. Let me look this up. Oh, yeah. I did watch this guy.
But Bob Ross? No. Never even heard of him until he became a “meme” on the internet a few years ago.
And “Early Sesame Street”. Fuck off. The show started in 1969. I know that he then said “80s Sesame Street” but I don’t believe anybody who says that they watched Sesame Street. This is a program for toddlers. Once you’re old enough to go to pre-school, you can no longer watch the show because it’s on while you’re at school. So you’re going to have memories of watching a show as a toddler?
Same with Mr Rogers. I didn’t watch it. Or if I did, it was before I was old enough to form memories.
I think that each PBS channel was independently owned and they could set their own schedules. So different markets would have different shows on at different times. But was Sesame Street being shown in the afternoons (so at a time when a school-aged child could watch)? Because that’s not my recollection.
Let me think of some actual PBS *nostalgia*, as opposed to the made up bullshit of Mike Matei.
Oh, that Cajun chef. What was his name? Justin Wilson. I don’t recognise this guy or remember anything about him other than he would say, “I guarantee” a lot, when assuring the viewer of something.
Yan Can Cook. I remember him much more clearly. Martin Yan and his Chinese cuisine. He would chop up those onions really quickly and smile broadly. Maybe a bit racist by today’s standards but he seemed alright with it. I doubt anyone told him to do it. This was his idea.
I watched a lot of Rick Steves’ Europe. This was as an adult, though. I was in college. I bought a travel guide of his too for my travels.
Oh, Antiques Roadshow. I watched a lot of that. Again, as an adult.
I watched the McLaughlin Group just to annoy my family. I didn’t actually care about that shit.
Oh, and all of those woodworking shows. There was that one with that guy who used olde tyme tools. New Yankee Workshop? No, but I watched that one too. The Woodwright’s Shop. That’s the one I was thinking of.
That’s all I can think of. What’s this 3-2-1 Contact that Ryan is talking about?
A science show that ran from 1980 to 1988. So Ryan would have been…I don’t know…three years old in 1988? Of course he didn’t watch this. Or have memories of it. Why…am I the weirdo for not remembering watching television when I was three years old? Everybody else seems to remember this stuff.
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Erin is Putting her Twitch Videos Behind a Paywall
https://www.twitch.tv/erin_plays
She has a stream where she “reacts” to some of her old videos but you have to be a subscriber to see it. It costs five bucks to subscribe.
She also has a stream from five days ago where she played Wheel of Fortune, Remote Control, and Concentration. I don’t think that she’s going to upload that video to Youtube for obvious reasons. I don’t even know why she plays these games. She’s horrendous and doesn’t even know the rules.
She’s also been taking videos down from Twitch or maybe making them subscriber-only. I know that after two weeks or whatever they automatically become subscriber only but that’s not what I’m talking about.
I don’t even review the videos that she only puts on Twitch.
Erin…nobody fucking cares this much. I don’t even care and this is my non-paying job.
As long as these people are off of Youtube, I don’t give a shit what they do. Madam Fomo abandoned her Youtube channel to concentrate on her god awful OnlyFans. So I basically stopped writing about her.
Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining is apparently doing a lot of streaming on Twitch now but I’m not writing about that shit and I’m not even watching it. I only watch any of this trash for the purposes of writing about it.
So if Erin just totally abandoned Youtube for Twitch, I’d stop writing about her entirely. Paywall or no paywall. So there’s your answer. Just stay on Twitch and I won’t write about your horrendous fucking videos.
Can any of these decisions really be as a result of the blog, though? I know that all of these people know about the blog. Erin in particular has referenced the blog a few times. I assume that she reads it at least occasionally or maybe Mike gives her the gist of particular articles. But I suspect that these people are grossly overestimating how many people read this shit. Let’s look at the numbers.
If you can’t read the chart, in March 2021, I was at about 3000 views a month, then I had a few months of growth, it reached a peak of about 7500 in September 2021, and ever since then I’ve been hovering around 7000 views a month.
This isn’t 7000 people, though. It’s 7000 clicks. I think that if you’re on a phone, every article you click counts as a view whereas if you view the site on your PC, all of the articles just show up on one page so it just counts as one click when you log into the site. So basically the numbers are confusing and don’t mean a whole lot. If I had to guess, I’d say that there are 50 regular readers. Even that might be high.
Think of the niche. Erin Plays? Retro Ali? CannotBeTamed? Who would possibly want to read long-form articles about this?
That’s ostensibly what the blog is about. Shitting on “gamer grrls”. But a more astute reader will appreciate that the blog is actually just a vehicle to showcase my absurdist comedy stylings. And what’s the possible audience for that? Fifty people absolute maximum.
So nobody cares about your videos, Erin. Nobody is reading this. You can hide all of your videos or don’t hide all of your videos. It makes no difference to me. But don’t do anything on account of the blog. Just the very idea that somebody would have a blog in 2022 is funny in itself. I’m thinking of starting a LiveJournal next.
If Erin hid all of her videos, I’d just write about something else. Could be Tony from Hack the Movies, could be Cinemassacre, could be that bearded guy who lives in his van, could be what I had for lunch, could be what I did in the fifth grade, whatever. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be about Erin or gamer grrls. People will read it or they won’t read it. I don’t give a fuck.
Or maybe I’ll take up gardening. Get another hobby. Whatever. It’s not a big deal.
I suspect that these “Youtubers” think that they’re big time celebrities but no. Nobody fucking cares. Especially when we’re talking about these gamer grrls who have pretty low subscriber counts. The comedy of the blog stems from writing about something so insignificant.
