Newt Wallen has a New Muse

Newt, I can’t fucking write about you every day. I’ve got other people who I need to cover. Zap Cristal just put out a fucking new podcast episode with a title that actually seemed intriguing to me. I was just about to join the three people at the “premiere” when I saw this tweet from you. How could I possibly resist it? You know that I’m going to write about this. Can you stop being a creepy loser for one fucking day so that I can talk about other people?

So the day after Horseface posted a picture of her new boyfriend, Newt posts this. Oh my god. I can barely type from laughing so hard.

“Go sub to my actress, friend, muse.”

Oh fuck. Where to begin?

Newt used to always refer to Horseface as his “muse”. I only heard him use this expression AFTER she stopped talking to him. I dont’ know whether or not he used this term while they were still amicable. I assume that he did but I don’t know.

But it’s fucking hilarious. “My muse. I lost my muse.” He would use the word “muse” constantly.

This is a guy who has released exactly one movie, Swamp Zombies 2, and it sucks dick. But he thinks that he’s some great artist and he has a “muse”. A “muse” for his tits and gore plagiarised bullshit that never gets released.

This woman is a legit, no-fooling prostitute. And apparently not a good one because she doesn’t even have money to get her car out of storage. So she’s begging her tiny audience to send her money in exchange for awful pictures of her crack-addicted body and she’s pressuring Newt to participate in this shake down of the horntards.

Every single thing that this woman says is, “Ding, ding, ding. Give me money.” Fuck off, you crack whore. Go get a fucking job.

Here she is in the bath. You certainly need a bath, you filthy, disgusting whore. Scrub the gonorrhea off of you.

Nobody even replies to any of her shit. She has no followers. Nobody wants to fucking see this. And I’m pretty sure that she gets naked. Maybe does other stuff. I don’t want to look into it. It’s revolting.

This is Newt’s “muse”. This vile, disease-ridden prostitute. I suppose that it makes some sense. A shit muse for his shit projects.

Newt might just be the biggest asshole that I’ve ever known. I’m not saying this lightly. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I’ve run through the rolodex of assholes who I’ve known in my personal life, professional life, internet life. I’ve known some absolutely horrible people. I think that Newt is the genuinely the worst.

And look at the people who seem to enter his orbit. The worst of the worst. Look at the people who he deems as his “muses”. Horseface. One of the most vile women I’ve ever come across. And now this fucking crack whore, who’s the only possible contender that I can think of for somebody who’s even worse than Horseface. This whore has absolutely no redeeming qualities at all. This is Newt’s “muse”.

You look at somebody like PVC Bondage Guy. She obviously has serious mental problems but overall, she’s a likeable fellow. Erin is a “fake gamer” and made a lot of morally dubious decisions but ultimately, she’s a tragic figure and she totally wasted her life. She’s to be pitied, not hated. Retro Ali is a shit “Youtuber” but that’s as much as you can say about her. She’s a woman working at Disney World, trying to make a living and doing this awful Twitch and Youtube shit where she’s an anime girl. It’s sad, not contemptible.

But this whore is complete human garbage. I never want to see her again. Newt, Horseface, and this whore need to all go away and never come back. There is no good in these subhumans. They’re pure shit..

“Subscribe to my terrible porn so that I can get my car out of the impound lot.” I think that I’m to decline that offer.

I was looking at some old Playboy magazines today. I downloaded a torrent that had all of the magazines a couple of a years ago. And it’s surprising how tame they were. I mean, I knew that they didn’t show pussies back in the day. I don’t think that that started until the 1970s. But when you look at the Playboys from the 1950s up until 1967, there was one fucking semi-nude picture of the centerfold. The other two or three pages were just random pictures. They were staged for the magazine but the woman is fully clothed.

This is what people had. You got one nude a month. And that’s only if you bought the magazine. Obviously, most people weren’t buying it every month. But you really had to cherish that one nude because that’s all you had to keep you going.

Sometimes, they don’t even show the woman’s tits. How insane is this? If that’s the only magazine you managed to get your hands on, you’re in some real trouble. You better start appreciating a lady’s back. And that’s not a euphamism for “butt” because that’s often covered too. I mean the actual back.

In 1968, they started giving you three semi-nude pictures of every centerfold. By 1973, they were showing pussies. I was reading the publication in the 1990s and almost every picture was nude. There might be one where she was wearing clothes.

In any event, these are all women who you actually wanted to see naked. There weren’t any old crack whores in there. And aside from the pictures, you got interviews with Bobby Fischer and whatever. Those lame as fuck jokes and cartoons.

Looking at the magazines now, obviously on my computer, I can almost smell the cologne. There was always a cologne ad in these Playboys at the time I was reading them.

5 thoughts on “Newt Wallen has a New Muse

  1. Playboy didn’t even have waxed beav until after 2000 so what was even the point before then? Talk about lean times.

    1. I wouldn’t dismiss hairy beavers entirely. Landing strips were popular throughout the 90s and even by the mid 1980s, they were pretty well groomed. Even the stuff in the 1970s, at least in Playboy with their tasteful camera shots, it’s not bad.

      I think it’s just whatever you’re first exposed to, that’s what you’re interested in. That’s why guys who must be at least in their 60s now probably prefer a hair pussy. I appreciate a nice landing strip over entirely shaved. Somehow you’ve embraced the entirely shaved movement even though that presumably happened after your era of first looking at porn.

      I say that hairy beavers are due for a comeback. It’s been at least 20 years. And if it does come back, that’s what the young people today would be into for the rest of their lives. These are just cultural things that get ingrained into people. There’s nothing inherently unappealing about hairy pussies. Guys have been fucking hairy pussies since the dawn of humanity and nobody was complaining.

  2. She looks like a late 30s chick that is still single, but the lighting doesn’t help her out much.

  3. I wonder if this is the same woman newt mentioned in his most recent stream. He said some he hopes some woman he met online comes up soon because he really wants to have a 3 way. Metz agreed

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