No More Castzilla vs The Podmonster – Tony from Hack the Movies

I don’t know the reason. Nor does Tony, apparently.

There was no copyrighted material, as far as I can recall. In the old school version of the podcast, it was audio only and they didn’t play clips or anything of the movies. In the UNWATCHABLE reboot, it was live and I think it was just an excuse to shake pennies out of the horntards’ pockets for “super chats”.

The problem with the podcast was that Johanna had negative charisma. Tony would tell an obvious joke and she wouldn’t seem to get it so in response she would just be loud and claim to be gay. I mean…this isn’t how conversations work.

I’m looking at Johanna’s Twitter. It’s all Star Wars, Godzilla, and Disney. Well, at least she’s not promoting her Dollar Tree OnlyFans like Horseface does.

Is Johanna still on that OnlyFans thing? God, let’s hope not.

Well, the site still exists but I can’t tell when she last active. Oh, “Last seen today.” Eugh.

There should be some sort of Pornography Licencing Board. If you want to make porn, you have to first prove that you’re of reasonable attractiveness. Why not? Pornography is a serious issue. Let’s crack down on this shit. I only want to see hot chicks on porn sites.

If I was running for public office, this would be my main platform. I’d win in a landslide. People are sick of this shit where anybody can make porn no matter how overweight, unattractive, or mentally ill they may be. Let’s limit pornography to women of sound mind who take this shit seriously and have a physique worth looking at.

You wouldn’t let just anybody be a doctor or a teacher or even a taxi driver. Why do we let anybody make pornography? Let’s establish a licencing system.

“Well, some people like fat chicks.” No. It’s a myth. Show me the person jerking off to fat chicks. It doesn’t exist.

It’s not about discrimination, it’s about only allowing people are suitable for the job to do the job. You can be any race but you have to be a hot chick. What’s so controversial about this? Pornography is a visual medium.

“What about MILFs?” Milfs are allowed PROVIDED that it’s a mother that somebody would reasonably WANT to fuck. So not just some old crackhead. Same rules apply, though. Has to be in shape. Has to be reasonably attractive. If she has big tits, we can overlook some stuff. Butterfaces are allowed, within reason.

But Johanna from Hack the Movies? Absolutely not. Her Fansly is basically conning retards. Because who else would subscribe? There’s no nudity on there and it’s this 300 pound woman. Who, other than a retard, would possibly give their money to this? I’m opposed to conning retards, and I think that my pornography licence would go some way to addressing this problem. It would insure that everybody, retard and non-retard alike, is guaranteed that whoever they’re subscribing to, will be a hot chick.

Why stop at pornography? Why not a licence to start a podcast? There are so many awful podcasts out there, Castzilla vs the Podmonster being one of them, that it’s time to clean this shit up. Only podcasts of a certain standard should be allowed.

This means that the Zap Cristal Podcast is gone, Point & Drink Adventure is out, Hack the Movies is out, whatever the fuck Newt does is gone. We only want good podcasts.

You can apply this to loads of shit. Let’s get rid of shitty Youtube channels. Why not? Yes, a lot of people would be out of work but they probably weren’t making much money to begin with and by getting rid of the shit, we’ll only have good stuff to watch. It would be a golden age for Youtube. Every single thing you watch on Youtube is going to be good. No longer will you click on a video and say, “Well, that sucked dick.” Think of how much time you’ve wasted on shitty Youtube videos. That would be a thing of the past.

People still have preferences, of course, but some stuff is objectively bad and has no audience. Zap Cristal’s channel, for example. Or Retro Ali’s channel. Or Erin Plays. Get rid of this shit. It has no value.

You hear about the internet “democratising” entertainment. In the old days, the television and movie production companies acted as a gatekeeper to who would be on tv and films and who wouldn’t.

Let’s go back to that. Maybe not put Jews in charge this time but let’s have a system where if you want to make porn or Youtube videos or a podcast or whatever, you have to first demonstrate that you’re suitable for the role. It’s just common sense.

5 thoughts on “No More Castzilla vs The Podmonster – Tony from Hack the Movies

  1. Amateur porn is the worst. You can’t even call only fans porn. There’s a few websites that are like a Netflix for porn. I think they’re all owned huge same company but have different names. It’s all vhs and dvd rips. Costs 150 a yeah which is like 12-13 but I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. But I searched for fat girl vids and the best I could find were some girls that weighed maybe 150-160 pounds. So they had big tits and big asses but no gut. That’s most important! Jo Hanna and her barrel body wouldn’t make the audition. And while we’re at it Jo Hanna is a stupid name too. Her parents must have been on crack. But think about it why would anyone pay to watch a fat girl in porn? You can go fuck a fat gorl for free. I know I typed gorl but then I thought that’s a funny way to differentiate some fat pig from the rest. Girls and gorls! Go to a bar. Fat gorls are everywhere and they’ll be quite happy to be with you. It’s just some kind of weird white knighting. Like “I’ll say you’re beautiful fat gorl and then you’ll have to fuck me!” But only a retard like Kris Glavin would think like that.

    1. I couldn’t imagine paying $150 a year for porn. Any old porn that I want to check out, I can find for free online. I only remember a few anyway. Madam’s Family, Sex Trek, Blame it on the Heat, Big Boob Boat Ride, Big Boob Bangaroo #4, I think that’s my exhaustive list. I stopped keeping up with the porn scene by the time I was 20. Actually, it coincides with me getting the internet. I had a plethora of free options at that point.

      1. Actually with recent copyright crackdowns a lot of stuff is disappearing, leaving only shitty amateur stuff. The free sites are also sneaking in a lot of tranny and queer stuff on the sidebar hoping no one notices so there’s a lot sites that I just gave up on. It might be worth it just to pay and cut that shit out.

  2. I’m sure Newt had something to do with getting it shut down. He’s a spiteful little man and can’t let go of the past. His entire goal in life is to make something popular so he can become friends with them again, which he will never do.

    1. I hadn’t considered the Newt Wallen angle. Maybe he was responsible. Newt says that they’re always flagging his videos so maybe he did the same.

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