I haven’t talked about this horse-faced woman in a while. What a treat. And I believe that she’s there with Lucy Tightbox. You guys all know Lucy Tightbox, don’t you? Failed Youtuber extraordinaire.
Wait. This isn’t Lucy Tightbox. This Cayley. Who the fuck is this? I’m sure that I talked about her before because I remember this three pack a day voice. Let’s check the archives.
Oh, no. It is Lucy Tightbox. Is she not using that name any more? It was memorable. She’s the only one of these skanks whose name I remember.
I’m not seeing the name Lucy Tightbox anywhere on any of her social media. She seems to have changed it all to Once Over with Cayley. What happened to her tight box? Well, maybe I don’t want to know. Maybe her box lost its tautness. Now she’s just Lucy. Or Loosey.
2:45 – Tony is talking “comically” about how the horntards comment on these two ladies because they’re so hot. Yeah. This is it. These are the hot chicks. Let’s move on. We don’t need a ten minute skit on this shit.
3:00 – Horseface says, “They’re so pretty” in reference to 300 pound Johanna, Mint “I Drink Piss for Money” Salad, and that Italian woman. It’s always about hot chicks with this dumb bitch. Or, as in this case, “hot” chicks. And the only reason she says this stuff is because she wants compliments in return. It’s all about her.
3:15 – Horseface says that she’s happy to be with Tightbox. It’s just constant. She couldn’t even go 15 seconds without talking about hot chicks and how she wants to have sex with them and she’s such a lesbian. Horseface, you are a total fucking bore.
God. I’m six minutes in and Horseface is distractingly unattractive. How does THIS woman think that she’s a hot chick? It’s remarkable.
And delusion is one thing. I think generally, people think that they’re more attractive than they actually are. But how do OTHER PEOPLE think that Horseface is a hot chick? How is Newt obsessed with this women YEARS later?
Well, I made it to the ten minute mark. Nothing is happening but I’m glad that I made it 10 minutes. That’s more than I can usually do with Tony’s abysmal videos.
15:30 – Weirdly-placed upper arm tattoo for old Tightbox over here. It’s hilarious that she changed her name. “I’m getting too old to call myself Tightbox. People are going to start making cruel comments about my lady parts.”
I made it to the 20 minute. I’m really chugging along here. Horseface is talking about acting. She’s a real thespian. She appeared in over 100 unreleased Newt Wallen “movies”.
21:15 – Horseface talking about hot chicks. No. I’m done. This is boring. Come on. I’m not even going to pad this out. I’m too bored to pad this out. The blog suffers when I try to watch a Tony from Hack the Movies video. I have to stop writing about him.
In case you were wondering about the topic of the video was, no it’s not but not worth watching. the cast is all good, Haley is a fantastic choice for a serious reboot of the Freddy Krueger character, instead of the goofy lovable version of the sequels. the problem is that it relies way too much on cheap (and piss poor) CGI & that it’s such a beat for beat remake of the original even the dream sequences and scares are essentially the same (except redone in poor cgi that somehow looks worse than early 80s effects.)
that being said, I wish it had been more successful because I think it would have gotten a pretty good sequel if they did their own thing and didn’t remake any of the existing ones exactly with Haley still as the lead.