A Brand NEW Studio! + Channel updates – Zap Cristal

Oh yeah. A new studio for the Reset & Zap podcast. Is that what it’s called? I’m the only person watching so I feel a responsibility to get the name right. Oh, Reset n’ Zap.

Is that right? Does the apostrophy go after the “n”? What does Chip and Dales do?

“Chip ‘n Dales”. I knew that didn’t look right. The apostrophy goes BEFORE the “n”.

What’s another example of this? Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? Not really but, again, the apostrophy goes before the “Em”.

Oh yeah. The Indian subcontinent to the rescue again.


“According to the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘n’, ‘n, and n are all acceptable (but not n’!)”

Well, Zap is a fucking dope in the extreme. What do you expect?

0:00 – “Welcome you beautiful Zaps to the Zap Cristal channel.”

That’s what she’s calling the three people who are watching this shit now? “Zaps”? I don’t think that that works.

She used to start with, “It’s your girl Zap Cristal.” Maybe Mr Wright Way II got jealous and didn’t want her saying that any more.

“First of all, we’re bring back the Reset n’ Zap podcast.”

It’s death. This podcast totally killed her channel. She went from getting thousands of views to a couple of hundred tops. Nobody is clamouring for this.

0:30 – She says if you want to know when the podcast is coming back, you should check out her website.

Why? They can just fucking subscribe to your Youtube channel.

It’s because she desperately wants people to go to her website. But why? There’s nothing even there. The website is just links to her social media shit. It’s a Linktree, effectively. But she’s paying the six bucks a year for a domain name and the $20/year for the server space so she wants to justify her purchase.

0:45 – Zap says that there’s an email list you can sign up to on her website. What is this? 1999? Who in their right mind would even sign up for an email list these days? And a fucking Zap Cristal email list? You really want updates on Zap Cristal?

“Do expect the Reset ‘n Zap podcast SEASON TWO to come back fully refreshed with a brand new set.”

Nobody cares about your seasons. Nobody cares about your set. Nobody cares about your podcast.

She can be doing these podcasts naked and nobody would watch. They’re unwatchable. And frankly, I think that the nudity would be another reason not to watch, in this case.

1:15 – There’s going to be a new series called Couples Game Night.

All of her “new” ideas involve her and Mr Wright Way II. This is fucking embarrassing. I suspect that Mr Wright Way II is behind all of this. He’s telling her that all new “content” has to involve him.

1:30 – “We wanted to bring up this idea for other couples that are looking for streamers that are married as well.”

What? This sounds like some fucking swinging thing. Who’s the unfortunate couple who’s going to be wife-swapping with Zap and Mr Wright Way II? And how does it even work in the context of streaming?

Maybe they’re just hoping to have sex while the other couple also has sex. On webcam, of course. Seems boring to me, frankly.

Then she says even if you’re married, you can watch.

Well, no shit. Although, there’s a reason that these swinging parties don’t allow single men. They’d be inundated with single men.

2:00 – “My Video Game Diary” is yet another new “series” that she’s introducing. She’s introducing a lot of new series. I haven’t mentioned all of them.

“It’s about revealing myself to the world more as a gamer.”

Ew. I don’t want to think about Zap revealing herself to the world.

2:45 – She’s also releasing her second album. Where was the first one? It’s fucking trash that Mr Wright Way II “produced” in Zap’s basement.

3:00 – Then there’s a LOUD rendition of “Our Love Journey” which is Zap’s new hit single. It’s some hip hop shit. Yeah, Zap is all about that hip hop.

I was in a chicken shop a few months ago, in some small, impoverished town. It was owned by Pakistani guys, I think, and most of the people working there were Pakistani. I was the only person in there. And they’re playing this hip hop music through the store’s speakers where the word “nigger” was said literally like every 15 seconds. And it went on and on. It wasn’t a three minute song. I was there for like 30 minutes and the song played throughout. Completely insane. I’ve never seen anything like it.

3:15 – “I told you I’m coming back and we’re coming back strong.”

This video got 200 views after five days. Her channel has completely imploded since she got with Mr Wright Way II and started putting out this god awful podcast. She’s delusional if she thinks otherwise.

3 thoughts on “A Brand NEW Studio! + Channel updates – Zap Cristal

  1. Welcome you beautiful zaps. Fuck this shit!! I hate this shit YouTubers do, come up with some retarded gay nickname for the people who are way. I won’t say fans. Even Karl Jobst who did a good job killing the career of that fat faggot The completionist does this. Hello you absolute legends. Fuck off. A virtual reach around so some fat autistic can feel validated in his parasocial relationship.
    I thought that guy was AI generated for a long time by the way.

    JOHN RIGGS does a variation of this with his gay how ya feeling question. Honestly after seeing your shitty life, I’m feeling pretty good!

    1. Yeah, I hate that cutesy stuff. There’s some British fag who is absolutely insufferable who starts with “hello you” or something. Unwatchable just because of that. When your catchphrase causes people to turn your videos off, it’s time to re-evaluate.

      1. Larry Bundy says that. No relation to Al Bundy unfortunately. Of course hello you is so generic and retarded it could be anyone who says that.

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