A Horse Riding a Bull – Crystal Quin


Get your ding-a-lings ready for this one. This is super sexy. Crystal Quin, “First time riding a bull last night!”

Whoa. I’m…this is hot. It’s in super slow-mo so you can see her in her usual half of a top and…she’s on a mechanical bull. She’s also sticking her tongue out to add to the excitement.

I don’t get it. I don’t get any of this.

First of all, let’s just recap my views on Horseface’s appearance in case you’re new here. She has the face of a horse. If it weren’t for her abhornent personality, I’d give her a 4/10. With the abhorent personality, she’s a 2/10.

But bafflingly, she’s convinced herself that she’s a hot chick. And this is how she lives her life.

I’m reminded of the whole transgender issue. You have a guy in a dress and he wants to be treated like a woman. Because he apparently thinks that he’s a woman.

Similarly, Horseface apparently thinks that she’s a hot chick so she expects you to treat her like a hot chick.

I’m not going for it, Horseface. I reject the assertion that you’re a hot chick.

I don’t want to define a “hot chick”. It’s not like you can give a list of criteria, “She has have big tits and long hair and blue eyes” and whatever. No. Hot chicks come in a range of flavours. But I know a hot chick when I see one. And Horseface isn’t it. Not by a longshot.

Now that we’ve discussed the horse, let’s discuss the bull. I don’t get it. At all.

There was some movie in the 80s that had a hot chick riding a mechanical bull. Does it all come from that? What was the name of the movie? Let me look this up.

Urban Cowboy? Can that be right? Was there even a woman in that?

Oh, I was thinking of Midnight Cowboy.

No, Urban Cowboy has John Travolta and Debra Winger. Let me look for a clip.

Okay, this woman dressed like one of the Hee Haw Honeys rides the mechanical bull and does various sexual poses on it. So I guess that’s where the idea of a mechanical bull being sexual comes from. This 1980 movie that I don’t think many people have even seen. I’ve never seen it.

I think that sexy hillbillies were still a thing in 1980. I mentioned Hee Haw.

I’ve never seen the show. Not even one second. I don’t think it was even shown in my area. It was a syndicated show by the time I was alive. So maybe none of the channels in my area picked it up. I didn’t live in the South, after all. And the show appealed to Southerners.

Hot hillbillies goes back to at least the 1960s when you had The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, Green Acres, whatever. There was a whole hillbilly chic at the time.

But I still remember remnants of hot hillbillies in the early to mid 1980s. Well, I suppose that you had The Dukes of Hazzard. Daisy Duke, of course. I mean, everybody knew what “Daisy Dukes” were even if you never saw the show.

That knotted top that this woman in Urban Cowboy is sporting was definitely a thing. It was a hot hillbilly thing. But my memory is just too hazy. I can’t think why hot hillbillies were still popular into the 1980s, I can’t give many examples, but I just know that they were.

There was a country music revival in the 1990s but I don’t think that the old school hot hillbillies were still a thing by then. The airheaded farmer’s daughter trope.

I saw this mechanical bull on an episode of Naked News probably from the mid 2010s. Naked News was one of the first big pornographic websites that I think started in the late 1990s. By 2010, nobody was interested. It was strictly viewing for lesbians. The women were…oh god…terrible. I’d call the women MILFs but I don’t think that they were mothers and I don’t want to fuck them. They were just old Canadian lesbians, no offence to Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. The show was filmed in Canada.

But they one woman on there during this era from Eastern Europe. Her English was marginal, which is why she wasn’t used on the show much. But massive tits, which is why she was on the show at all. She was the one presentable woman there by this time.

By the way, I only know about this because I downloaded a bunch of Naked News videos from some torrent site out of nostalgia. They were the then-current Naked News episodes. It was just weird, boring, feminist…I don’t even know. Apparently, this is what lesbians want to watch. But a heterosexual man? No.

So there’s some woman with huge tits riding this mechanical bull. It doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not particularly exciting. But apparently this is some kind of fetish for…for who?

People who saw Urban Cowboy as teenagers in 1980 are now approaching 60. Is this Horseface’s target market? Maybe it is. I don’t know.

There’s some kind of sexual element to this mechanical bull. I mean, I get that it’s kind of similar to intercourse. Maybe. Although, I tend not to spin around during intercourse.

I suppose that the woman’s breasts are bouncing. Maybe that’s a part of the appeal. Although, in Horseface’s case, this wouldn’t really apply.

Thigh muscles? Is that what we’re going for? Guys are interested in women with strong thighs?

I just don’t get it. I don’t get any of the sexual appeal of the mechanical bull. I also don’t get any of the sexual appeal of Horseface. So the whole thing is just confusing and unsettling for me.

9 thoughts on “A Horse Riding a Bull – Crystal Quin

  1. The only hot hillbilly I can remember in the 80s was Daisy Duke. And yeah she was hot! The last season of Dukes of Hazzard was weird. It had two different actors with the same premise. Well who fucking cares? Tv characters seem to have 100 cousins for no reason.

    Speaking of men in dresses pretending to be women, I saw Critical “Kate” (not his real name) finally put out a video after crying like a bitch 8-9 months ago about being near homeless. Couldn’t get a job because of “transphobia.” You know, the mental illness everyone is bending over backwards to accommodate, accept and normalize? The one where if you just state reality, that the man is a dress is a man, you’re fired and the man in a dress gets a promotion? Yeah he can’t seem to find a job. So he got something like $1200 a month and hooray congrats, now making YouTube garbage videos is your “job.” Except he made literally nothing! He did team up with someone else to basically dox a woman who made 1 video game 40 years ago because “girl power.” But that was before all of this.

    Now, “Kate” a man pretending to be a woman, poorly, made a video about how Popeye is really Mario or something. This fag collected $10000 to make this wiki shit? Oh and it’s only part 1 of 5! I bet it’ll take 2 years to see all of this “epic.” He must have gone to the Gaming Historian school of grifting. That asshole makes $3000 on patreon alone and only made three, fucking three videos this year! All of them word for word wiki reads. Newt covered his tracks better, by a lot.

    1. Mama’s Family. I thought of another one. Although, Naomi Harper was extremely marginal as a hot hillbilly.

      The last I heard of the Gaming Historian, he was getting a master’s degree in history. He must be making money than he knows what to do with. What is a 40 year old man going to do with a master’s degree in history? He already has a job. Sort of. Youtube. Is Youtube going to give him a raise because he has a Master’s degree? It’s a complete waste of money.

      1. It’s simple. He will use it to slide into some university somewhere and he can call himself a true historian. He’s not. He’s a fake historian. He’s full of shit. It’s only branding and image. His old videos are absolute dog shit, 3-4 minutes long and surface level wiki. People bought into the lie that he knows shit about history or anything because of his channel name and now has people filming for him and and editing writing and basically everything except his own voice. He will fit in at some university nicely. Just say everything in gaming is racist sexist transphobic etc. destroy the white patriarchy (except yourself of course) and live a super easy life.

  2. i have some pitiful disdain for horse face. she’s trying to vye for attention and failing miserably. the daily dose of horntards’ attention is not cutting it anymore. it also boggles the mind how come all of those gamergirrrls are all so dysfunctional, their entitlement and dellusion combining to result in something akin to mental illness. is this what living in the west does to women??

  3. The crowd was pretty dead too. You would think she’d post a clip of the exact moment there were some “Whooooooo’s”….but no. Perhaps there weren’t any “whooo’s”…either way. That clip is going straight to Newt’s spank-bank.

  4. Have you seen Newts last live stream? he brings out another absolute freak with pvc bondage guy who I guess is also trans?! but my God he looks horrible! I feel like Newt is starting a group home for the mentally challenged now that’s he’s made it big with his new movie premiere. You can’t make this shit up!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *