Gamer Girls

https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1732168610347409786

Get your ding-a-lings ready for this one. This is super sexy. Crystal Quin, “First time riding a bull last night!”

Whoa. I’m…this is hot. It’s in super slow-mo so you can see her in her usual half of a top and…she’s on a mechanical bull. She’s also sticking her tongue out to add to the excitement.

I don’t get it. I don’t get any of this.

First of all, let’s just recap my views on Horseface’s appearance in case you’re new here. She has the face of a horse. If it weren’t for her abhornent personality, I’d give her a 4/10. With the abhorent personality, she’s a 2/10.

But bafflingly, she’s convinced herself that she’s a hot chick. And this is how she lives her life.

I’m reminded of the whole transgender issue. You have a guy in a dress and he wants to be treated like a woman. Because he apparently thinks that he’s a woman.

Similarly, Horseface apparently thinks that she’s a hot chick so she expects you to treat her like a hot chick.

I’m not going for it, Horseface. I reject the assertion that you’re a hot chick.

I don’t want to define a “hot chick”. It’s not like you can give a list of criteria, “She has have big tits and long hair and blue eyes” and whatever. No. Hot chicks come in a range of flavours. But I know a hot chick when I see one. And Horseface isn’t it. Not by a longshot.

Now that we’ve discussed the horse, let’s discuss the bull. I don’t get it. At all.

There was some movie in the 80s that had a hot chick riding a mechanical bull. Does it all come from that? What was the name of the movie? Let me look this up.

Urban Cowboy? Can that be right? Was there even a woman in that?

Oh, I was thinking of Midnight Cowboy.

No, Urban Cowboy has John Travolta and Debra Winger. Let me look for a clip.

Okay, this woman dressed like one of the Hee Haw Honeys rides the mechanical bull and does various sexual poses on it. So I guess that’s where the idea of a mechanical bull being sexual comes from. This 1980 movie that I don’t think many people have even seen. I’ve never seen it.

I think that sexy hillbillies were still a thing in 1980. I mentioned Hee Haw.

I’ve never seen the show. Not even one second. I don’t think it was even shown in my area. It was a syndicated show by the time I was alive. So maybe none of the channels in my area picked it up. I didn’t live in the South, after all. And the show appealed to Southerners.

Hot hillbillies goes back to at least the 1960s when you had The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, Green Acres, whatever. There was a whole hillbilly chic at the time.

But I still remember remnants of hot hillbillies in the early to mid 1980s. Well, I suppose that you had The Dukes of Hazzard. Daisy Duke, of course. I mean, everybody knew what “Daisy Dukes” were even if you never saw the show.

That knotted top that this woman in Urban Cowboy is sporting was definitely a thing. It was a hot hillbilly thing. But my memory is just too hazy. I can’t think why hot hillbillies were still popular into the 1980s, I can’t give many examples, but I just know that they were.

There was a country music revival in the 1990s but I don’t think that the old school hot hillbillies were still a thing by then. The airheaded farmer’s daughter trope.

I saw this mechanical bull on an episode of Naked News probably from the mid 2010s. Naked News was one of the first big pornographic websites that I think started in the late 1990s. By 2010, nobody was interested. It was strictly viewing for lesbians. The women were…oh god…terrible. I’d call the women MILFs but I don’t think that they were mothers and I don’t want to fuck them. They were just old Canadian lesbians, no offence to Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. The show was filmed in Canada.

But they one woman on there during this era from Eastern Europe. Her English was marginal, which is why she wasn’t used on the show much. But massive tits, which is why she was on the show at all. She was the one presentable woman there by this time.

By the way, I only know about this because I downloaded a bunch of Naked News videos from some torrent site out of nostalgia. They were the then-current Naked News episodes. It was just weird, boring, feminist…I don’t even know. Apparently, this is what lesbians want to watch. But a heterosexual man? No.

So there’s some woman with huge tits riding this mechanical bull. It doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not particularly exciting. But apparently this is some kind of fetish for…for who?

People who saw Urban Cowboy as teenagers in 1980 are now approaching 60. Is this Horseface’s target market? Maybe it is. I don’t know.

There’s some kind of sexual element to this mechanical bull. I mean, I get that it’s kind of similar to intercourse. Maybe. Although, I tend not to spin around during intercourse.

I suppose that the woman’s breasts are bouncing. Maybe that’s a part of the appeal. Although, in Horseface’s case, this wouldn’t really apply.

Thigh muscles? Is that what we’re going for? Guys are interested in women with strong thighs?

I just don’t get it. I don’t get any of the sexual appeal of the mechanical bull. I also don’t get any of the sexual appeal of Horseface. So the whole thing is just confusing and unsettling for me.