Caddicarus delves into the past, present, and future of Retrogaming

This is from Youtube’s official channel. I didn’t even know that Youtube had a channel. It appears to be really boring, corporate videos. This one is no exception.

0:00 – So we see Caddicarus. Who is this? Let me look this up.

Some English fag with a posh accent and a ponytail. A million subscribers. Makes god awful videos about video games.

Oh, and the previous video on Youtube’s official channel was by somebody called Safiya. This is a guy in a dress, right? Oh. Wow. No. It isn’t. That’s an actual woman. I would have lost that bet. I’m seeing ladyboys everywhere.

Game Mistress is here. She has nearly 4,000 subscribers. From Sweden.

But you go to her Twitter and it says that she’s from Norway.

Well, it does say that she’s also a “mental health advocate”. Maybe different personalities have different nationalities.

WHY THE CONSTANT MENTAL HEALTH BULLSHIT? Fucking 75% of the women “Youtubers” are just nut jobs who claim to be interested in mental health advocacy. How about some sane women? Are sane women not interested in video games? Well, maybe they’re not. Most women I’ve known have been interested in shopping, cooking, reality television, makeup, fashion, cute animals, the usual crop of shit that women are interested in. Video games is never on the list.

Skimming through her videos, yeah, this is crazy woman alright. But she has her big tits on display in most of the thumbnails. Just put them to work, baby. Find yourself a husband. Problem solved. Guys are willing to overlook a lot. Big tits trumps craziness for a lot of guys.

0:15 – Oh, JOHN RIGGS. That handsome devil. Of course he would appear right after the ladies.

0:30 – Black Comedy Nerd. You guys like Black Comedy Nerd, right? Let me look this racist bullshit up.

800,000 subscribers. Unbelievable. Stepin Fetchit was less offensive than this asshole.

1:45 – Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” appears and just does a cringy as fuck rendition of the Donkey Kong Country theme (or something) for like two seconds. What was the point of this?

What’s the point of any of this? Nothing is being said. It’s just “Hey, people like retro video games.” What? This required a video?

There’s a brief shot of TheGebs24.

There’s also random Japanese guys who nobody ever heard of. They seem intent on fulfilling some kind of diversity quota. We need a certain number of women, a certain number of black people (just one, I think), Asian people, fat people, slim people, Swedish people.

What about the non-cringy, clean-shaven, mentally-sound male who watches what he eats? That seems to be the most underrepesented segment of the population when it comes to retro gamers on Youtube.

And then the video just ends with Metal Jesus saying “bye”. This was totally pointless.

  • “Thanks for having me guys ❤ Truly appreciate the love 🎉”

That was from Zap Cristal. She should be deeply embarassed by this video.

Top comment is:

  • i’m beyond excited about caddy being the face of this, but it is weird af how AVGN is not mentioned in this when he’s literally the person who kickstarted comedic retro game reviews in the first place.”

I think that the only women in this thing were Zap Cristal and that Swedish/Norwegian nutjob. How were these the two who were picked? They each have like 3,000 subscribers. I don’t even like talking about Zap Cristal on the blog because she’s too insignifant to talk about. Too insignicant for my BLOG. My 80 visitors a day deserve somebody with wider appeal.

Let me check the statistics.

Posts about Zap Cristal tend to get about 50% fewer views than posts about anyone else. People see that a post is tagged “Zap Cristal” and they say, “I didn’t come here for this shit” and move on.

  • “THis was a nice surprise to wake up to. Thank you, YouTube!”

That was from John Riggs. What? He didn’t know that he was going to be in the video? Youtube didn’t pay him for this? Or even ask to use the footage? They must have asked because he was saying something germaine to the video. Presumably. I don’t remember what he, or anybody said.

  • “Soy overload”

I guess so.

5 thoughts on “Caddicarus delves into the past, present, and future of Retrogaming

  1. It seems like everyone in the video did not know about it, and all clips are from channel’s old videos. Nothing scripted or original. It would be HILARIOUS!!!! if someone in the video filed a copyright strike, just to be dick. People would probably cheer because YouTube is so “mean and unfair to creators” by following copyright law. Serves them right, they’d say. YouTube would have to comply or break their own rules. Chaos ensues. No one in the video is clever enough to figure that out.

      1. Probably something in their terms of service that lets them use your videos for advertising. I believe Facebook and the like have a clause like that.

  2. the fact that a video of youtube’s own design purported to showcase retrogamers doesn’t feature the avgn goes to show how people who watch it overestimate its popularity. truth is, nobody knows who the avgn is. youtube as an entertainment genre is something of extremely limited appeal. most people just watch it to pass time and shitpost in the comments. some might subscribe, which is usually done mindlessly without a care in the world whether it means anything. but outside its niche setting, it is, for all intents and purposes, nonexistent. if i tell my woman who the avgn is, she will have no idea. by the same token, if she tells me about any youtuber she’s familiar with, i won’t have a clue whoever the person is either. that’s normal and expected. what bothers me is how we are now mired in “content creators”, “influencers” and “internet celebrities”, and most of them assume that they are bigger than they really are. some of them get lucky or have some genuine video editing skills and then soon their channel is plagued by the shameless plug, merch with a cartoon version of their face or logo on it and the eventual video about fighting global warming. and they refer to the viewers as “their fans”, a term that is condescending and at the same time works to build a pretense that their channel is “cool and important”. i say it’s time to pull the plug on this system or at the bare mininum give the whole thing a hard reset. anything for a return to normalcy.

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