Gamer Girls

Oh, it looks like Erin was able to tear herself away from the aggressively boring NES “A-Z” streams that she’s been doing. I haven’t watched one second of any of that shit and I have a professional responsibility to watch it.

I’m looking at her recent videos and noticing a trend on which ones perform well. The one where she’s dressed as Jessica Rabbit got about 80,000 views as did the one where she’s dressed as a “sexy” nurse. Everything else is 10,000 to 20,000 views.

With that in mind, I don’t think that this particular video will perform well. Maybe if she had that stupid headgear on while wearing a bikini she could get up to 80,000 views again.

Anyway, the Vectrex. Erin is all about the Vectrex. She she’s going to dust it off and tell us all about the Vectrex accessories that Mike recently bought for her, for the purposes of this video.

0:00 – “The Vectrex is one of the coolest retro systems ever…in my opinion, anyway.”

Yeah. For the nothing that that’s worth.

What do you suppose the exchange rate is for Vectrex accessories to anal sex? Because Mike clearly bought this shit. And he expects something in return. How much are these things? Let me look.

Wow. The 3d Imager is $3,000 on Ebay. The Light Pen is about $400.

So how do they work out how much buttsex Mike gets for this? Is it like $2/minute? That would be about right for your average prostitute. But if he’s getting $3,500 worth of stuff, that’s like 30 hours of buttsex. Does he need that much?

Obviously, you’re not going to redeem that 30 hours all in one go. But even if you just set aside an hour a day for this, for an entire month, surely you’d get bored. It would become an obligation. And Erin would be dying. “Please, Mike. My ass needs a break today.”

0:30 – Erin is writing on the screen with this Light Pen. You want to know what she drew? “Erin Plays” and heart. Like she’s in the fourth grade. Couldn’t even be bothered to do something remotely creative or interesting.

1:15 – “Art Master was the game I was most excited to play when I first got the Light Pen.”

So…a week ago. Why the constant obfuscation? Just explain to the people that Mike you got this shit recently, for the purposes of the video, in exchange for anal sex. Is that so difficult?

So she draws a really bad Pac-Man who’s breathing fire for some reason. And she draws a heart. Again. Like a fourth grader.

1:45 – Now there’s a Yoshi on the screen that Erin CLEARLY did not draw. This was Mike. But she’s pretending that she drew this by writing “Yoshi” in shaky letters above it.

2:30 – HORRIBLE animation of two triangles. No effort was put into this AT ALL.

3:15 – Now she’s “playing” a different game, this one all about animation. And holy fucking shit is this awful. Not the game, I don’t know how the game is, but her animation…it’s an abomination. A toddler would do a better job than this.

Then there’s another complete piece of shit “animation” involving hearts, of course. Fucking…god damn is a she a fucking retard.

Then that’s it. She moves on to the next game. She spent no time AT ALL on any of this. She played these games for literally five or ten minutes. Just to get this unbelievably shit footage.

How much did Mike spend on these games? His anal sex schedule must be full for the five years after this.

3:30 – Bizarre pronunciation of “electronic”. Long “e” sound at the start.

3:45 – It’s a music game. She say, “I don’t know how to read actual sheet music. Just tabs.”

Wait…what? So she just moves on. She doesn’t even attempt to make a song.

But…how can she not read music? She said that she took drum lessons for years. There’s tabs for drum music?

I was in the school band for 4th through 8th grade. I played the drums. We played from sheet music, of course. Sheet music for drums doesn’t have notes A, B, C, D whatever but it has the notes whole note, half note, quarter note, et cetera. It’s to determine time.

I had a program like this Vectrex game that Erin looked at for two minutes when I was a kid and I was able to write music with it. It’s not difficult. Put some time into it and maybe you’ll like it. But Erin refuses to put time into anything.

And Mike bought all of this shit. How much were the games? Let me look this up.

About $150/each. Unbelievable. Erin will never be able to pay this off. She’ll be serving her ass up to him in the afterlife. And for what? This shitty Youtube video that nobody will watch? What’s the point of any of this?

4:15 – Now she’s moving on to the 3D Imager. God. She spent no time whatsoever with those games. It completely boggles the mind. Why is she doing this? She obviously doesn’t enjoy any of this. She’s not getting money for this. Does she just enjoy being in perpetual buttsex debt to Mike?

Why wouldn’t she at least say, “Hey, get me something that I like. Get me some Britney Spears memorabilia”. No. She’s asking for this shit that she doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about.

For $1,700, you can get a blouse that Britney Spears is purported to have worn. It’s on Ebay. Wouldn’t Erin much prefer that? Why get this fucking video game shit? I don’t get it at all.

It would also make for a more interesting video if she showed that shirt off. Because the shirt also shows a picture of Britney Spears wearing a shirt that looks very similar to that shirt. Erin can try to confirm that it’s the actual shirt that Britney Spears wore. She can look for other footage of Britney Spears in this top. Do some sleuthing ala crazy Bobdunga.

No. Let’s look at this video game shit that nobody, least of all Erin, gives a fuck about.

Then she shows the three games that are compatible with this 3D Imager that Mike bought for her. This is like $5,000 worth of shit that Mike got for her in total. Why? Why this?

6:15 – “3D Crazy Coaster was the 3D game that I was the most excited to play.”

She said something about this game before. She didn’t even know the name of it. Let me look this up.

Answering Your Questions! Q and A Time – Erin Plays

Old school. This is from 2020. Some horntard apparently asked, “Is there any game that you’ve heard of and wanted to play but you could never find?” Erin’s answer was, “Roller Coaster for the Vectrex”.

There’s no such game. Shortly later, there’s an edit and she Googles the game and corrects herself saying, “3D Crazy Coaster”.

That’s the game that she always wanted to play. Didn’t even know the name of it. But finally, three years later, that day has finally arrived. Erin is going to play Roller Coaster aka 3D Crazy Coaster for the first and last time ever. For seconds. In exchange for god knows how much buttsex.

“It’s described as a roller coaster ride that will make you scream in excitement. I’ve never screamed while playing the Vectrex but there’s a first time for everything.”

Well, you don’t play the Vectrex so there’s that.

But there will be a lot of screaming from all that anal sex that Erin is now indebted to Mike for.

She showed the game for about 30 seconds. Then she showed the final game for about 10 seconds. Said that she sucked at it and that’s the video.

She did not spend any time on ANY of these games. And Mike spent five fucking thousand dollars on all of this shit. She couldn’t even pretend to care about any of this. Not even for the fucking video.

Five thousand dollars worth of shit and completely ungrateful. Doesn’t want any of this.

• “Might want to add a flashing lights warning somewhere. Flashing doesn’t even affect me and I felt myself feeling off with how much the screen was flickering at points… lack of sleep is probably playing into that a bit.”

Here’s an idea. Go fuck yourself, you precious little homo. And Erin did add such a warning, presumably in response to this faggot.

• “That last 3D game looks like they way overdid the separation. Not surprised at all you were seeing double. Maybe if you sat like 6 feet away it would improve. Sad I never got to experience the 3D Imager.”

Oh would you look at this. Joe from Gamesack is back. Eagerly responding to Erin’s video where she was obviously not remotely interested in any of this bullshit. You didn’t notice, Joe? You thought that she was genuinely interested in these Vectrex accessories?

So Erin replies, “It could be that I was sitting too close since I couldn’t have my glasses on, but yeah you could be right. I hope one day you can experience the wonders of the 3D Imager!”

Yeah. If Joe just keeps his beta orbiter status going, who knows what the future holds? Maybe Joe can pay off Erin’s buttsex debt so Erin will have to service Joe instead. I don’t the ins and outs of buttsex contract law but I think that’s how it works.

• “I love watching your channel, you are so beautiful”

I just don’t get these comments. It’s like these people have never seen a woman before. Or they just got out of prison or something.