Horseface Talking About Wanting to Fuck Johanna Again – Crystal Quin

“Happy National Boob Day!!!!!!”

And there’s a picture of Johanna in a lowcut dress.

I…what?  No.  I don’t want this.  Get this off my fucking screen.  

Come on.  How could she possibly think that this is a good idea?  THIS woman has a pornographic OnlyFans?  And people are paying for this?  I don’t want to see it for free.  It’s revolting and I’m sorry to say that.  Some people should not be doing porn.  

Why…who’s jerking off to this?  What kind of completely self-loathing individual would jerk off to this shit?  In a world where there’s enough free porn of hot chicks to last you many lifetimes, there are people jerking off to this shit.  They think that they don’t deserve hot chicks even in their fantasies.  That’s how low their self-esteem is.  So they’re spanking it to a fat chick. 

And then Horseface re-tweets this like Horseface is getting excited over this picture.  Give me a fucking break.  First of all, Horseface is a heterosexual woman.  Secondly, who the fuck is getting excited over pictures of Johanna from Hack the Movies?  

I would not mention Johanna’s appearance if it weren’t for the fact that she’s presenting herself as a sex symbol.  She’s doing porn.  Unbelievably.  And…come on.  This looks like every fat, middle aged, friend’s mother when I was a kid.  I wasn’t jerking off to that shit then and I’m not jerking off to it now.  

The levels of delusion.  First, Johanna had to be deluded enough to think that this was spank-worthy material.  Then Horseface had to feed the delusion by re-tweeting it.  You just know that Horseface was choking back her gag reflex when she looked at this shit.  And then the horntards further reinforce the delusion that Johanna is a hot chick.  It’s all a cycle that feeds on itself.

Here’s the reality: in no way, shape, or form is Johanna a hot chick.  It’s fine.  Just do something other than porn.  Problem solved.  There’s more to life than doing bad pornography for retards and getting pennies for it.  There are BETTER things that you can be doing with your life.  When did pornography become aspirational?  It used to be the last resort of people with real problems.

Let’s move swiftly on.

“My CEO gave me a box of goodies because I’m good at my job”

Well, at least he’s not rubbing on her like her last boss, who she then texted, “Do you want to fuck?” and this lead to a nine year relationship.  This guy is just giving her shitty boxes of snacks.  Not even custom made.  This is from some company that makes ready-made boxes of snacks.

And she refers to this guy as a “CEO”.  She works in “live events” which is a codeword for “sleazy parties where they have shot girls.”  It’s not an industry that has CEOs.  

So let’s see what’s in here.  Maltesers, gross.  Peanut butter M&Ms, okay.  Caramel M&Ms, gross.  Butter rum Lifesavers, gross.  Regularly Life Savers, boring.  Regular Starburst, boring.  Wile berry Skittles, okay.  Three Musketeers, gross.  Milky Way, gross.  Munch peanut brittle, gross.  Four small bags of Combos, okay.

So it’s mostly gross shit that they can’t sell so they put in this box.  There’s not a single item in here that I’d say, “Hey, I like this.”  And a lot of this stuff is so bad that it would just be a chore to eat it.  Try to choke it down.  I think that I’d actually throw the Milky Way and the Three Musketeers in the trash.

But Horseface was happy with this weird gift.  

I’d say keep this fucking cheap, surplus, unsold candy and give me a raise instead.  I’ll take money over candy any day.  

Then there are about ten tweets about some nerd who had a “Marry me Crystal Quin” sign at some wrestling event.  I won’t even dignify that by talking about it.

And here’s a picture of Horseface as a Las Vegas showgirl.  This was part of her “live events” job.

If you’re jerking off to this, you have some real problems.  

I’m reminded of my time working in a casino.  This was the first job I had out of high school.  It wasn’t any kind of fancy place, it was a piece of shit, but they had cocktail waitresses in tiny outfits with their tits all pushed up.

But there was one woman who didn’t have much in the way of tits.  So they gave her a slightly different outfit.  Since there was nothing to push up, it was just…I don’t know…a slightly more modest cut.

And what mad it sadder was that I knew this woman.  Went to school with her.  And she’s out there debasing herself for eight bucks an hour or whatever.  

About three years later, I was working in a different casino.  And I was thinking, “Alright!  I get to see these cocktail waitress’ tits again!”

No.  I was in a different part of the country.  It was a more upscale place.  And three years had passed.  So…the cocktail waitresses were all modestly dressed.  They even had cocktail waiters.  Terrible.  

Do they still have cocktail waitresses in sleazy outfits?  I’d be surprised.

This woman, who works as a cocktail waitress, describes a very revealing outfit that she has to wear.  Sounds similar to what I’ve seen.  But this thread is from six years ago.  I’d like something more current.

Anyway, back to Horseface.  Somebody asks how high she can kick.  And Johanna replies, “From personal experience, she is very flexible.”  Justin Silverman then replies, “Cringe.”

He’s dead on.  This is fucking pathetic.  Johanna is suggesting that she had sex with Horseface.  And what…how would she even know that Horseface is flexible?  What sexual situation would require Horseface to be flexible?  Johanna is wearing a strap on and fucking Horseface in the ass while her legs are behind her head?  That’s the only thing I can think of.  And that’s not an image that I want to have in mind.

Anyway, our friend Kris Glavin replies.  “Is there anything you can’t do happy Thursday gorgeous hope you have a great night babe.”

I think that he uses an AI to write his tweets.  It’s always the same basic shit.  There are a handful of words and phrases that he rotates in and out.

Then he replies later, “Crytal queen”.  He uses that one a lot too.

He replies a third time, again, just to himself, “Wowsers omfg you look amazing”

Then a fourth time, “Yasss queen”.

Mint Salad also replies with “FABULOUS!!!” and a bunch of emojis.

4 thoughts on “Horseface Talking About Wanting to Fuck Johanna Again – Crystal Quin

  1. You saw this right?Good lord the attention starvation

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