Mike Matei (and presumably Erin) are vacationing in Peru

 https://www.instagram.com/p/CUvXsjmJacM/

He shows a picture of his first class meal.  It looks completely disgusting.

I remember as a child doing some travelling and there was some European guy yelling about the quality of the food.  “Heat it up!” and he was talking about his roll.  And the stewardess had to explain that there’s no heating facility on the plane.

It is absurd.  Why is everything stone cold?  But if that’s the only way you can do it, just serve food that’s meant to be cold.  This salad and sandwich in the picture is an example of that, I guess, but it’s still vile.  Find something palatable that can be served cold.  

Frankly, the snacks are the only thing that work.  Peanuts.  Pretzels.  Fine.  Certain types of sandwich could work, for example a BLT or just a peanut butter sandwich but these are never the options.  It’s always some weird mystery meat like in his picture.  Fuck that mystery meat bullshit.

Anyway, there’s no mention of Mike and Erin going on vacation anywhere except for that one Instagram post.  

And as it turns out, Mike was with Erin when she visited her parents in California.  There’s a picture of the two of them at Disneyland.

Why all the secrecy?  Why did Erin try to suggest that she’s visiting her parents alone?  Why didn’t she just say, “I’m in California with Mike visiting my parents”?  

Are they afraid that people are going to bust into the Matei homestead and steal all of his shit?  I suppose that that might be a concern, actually.  But can’t they at least announce that they’ve returned from a trip together?  

So anyway, they’re in Peru now.  Apparently.  And from what I can gather, unless there’s been another mystery trip somewhere, this is Erin’s first trip abroad.  

Why Peru?  And the US isn’t open for travel, is it?  I heard that it might be opening in November but only if you’re vaccinated, which is absurd.  Although, they’d be able to go back whether they’re vaccinated or not and whether the US is open for travellers or not because presumably they’re US citizens.

So is Peru one of the few countries that’s open for travel?  Is that why they went for Peru?  

According to the US embassy in Peru website, you can travel to Peru if you submit a test dated within the last three days showing that you don’t have covid.  Vaccination is not required.

“Double facemasks” are required in some shops and whatnot in Peru.  That’s a new one for me.  So put two pairs of underpants on your face.  Then you’re protected from covid.  

So maybe Peru was just chosen because it’s open.  Or maybe Erin is going to become a drug mule.  Use that anus for something other than Mike’s penis for a change.

I mean, how do you explain the first class flights?  Mike is making $40,000/year from Twitch.  This isn’t first class money.  How can he afford any of the things that he has?  Maybe he was making a lot of money from when he owned Cinemassacre and maybe he got a lot of money when he sold it to Screenwave and/or Jimmy Rolfe but he’s making $40,000/year now.  He can’t be throwing his money away any more.  

He’s trying to keep his sugarbaby sweet.  He’s going to get bankrupted by this shit.  He’s going to get bankrupted by ERIN.  I just can’t figure that one out.

I’m reminded of that kid from Home Improvement.  The youngest one, Mark.  After the show, some stripper took all of his money.  I can see that happening.  Presumably, it was a hot chick.  But Erin?  Erin is no hot chick.

So let’s see what there is to see and do in Peru.  Is Sergio from there?  He’s from South America but I can’t remember where.  Maybe it’s in the archives.  Yeah.  Argentina.  Sorry, Sergio.  Maybe the next time that Erin is in South America, she’ll stop by.

Oh, Machu Picchu.  But that’s going to require a lot of walking.  I don’t think that Mike can do that.  Or even Erin.

I don’t know.  Everything on TripAdvisor is outdoorsy stuff.  Monasteries, vineyards, the Amazon River, the Amazon Rainforest, lakes, islands.  I can’t see them doing any of this.  

Let me check specifically Lima.  Maybe there’s more accessible stuff to do.  I don’t know.  Marginally.  Catacombs, museums, some kind of palace.

So that’s exciting Peru.  Maybe they’re just going to go to a beach or something.  But in October?  Maybe it’s still warm in Peru.  But Mike doesn’t strike me as somebody who would go to a beach.  

Whatever.  Maybe they can find some Disney shit there.  Or go to a zoo and see cute animals.  

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