episode 10 – Inside The Lady Loft – TheGebs24


“Loft” means “attic”.  Maybe this is a US/UK thing or maybe I’m just an idiot who doesn’t know what a loft is.

It’s interesting.  She’s living in this dilapidated little house and there’s a dilapidated little attic.  One of those things where you pull a hatch from the ceiling and a ladder comes down.  

5:30 – She wants to paint the door to look like a spaceship door.  Or something.  And she invites the horntards to paint it for her.  “If it’s a business query, I’ll answer it.  If it’s a personal query, you can fuck off.”

So…she wants somebody to come to her home and do this painting for her.  For free, presumably.  And then she speaks to the audience like this.  

Who the fuck would do this for free?  

Let’s just look at exactly what she wants done.  The logistics of it.  

She wants you, first of all, to be an artist.  She wants some kind of elaborate spaceship door thing to be painted.  She shows a picture of what she wants done.  It’s complicated.  And she wants this painted ON HER CEILING.  

So somehow you have to get up to this woman’s ceiling and paint this elaborate shit like you’re Michelangelo working on the Sistine Chapel.  Bring and erect your own scaffolding.  As well as the paint and the brushes and everything else that you’ll need.  FOR FREE.

Maybe she’ll pay something.  But how much do you think it’s going to be?  This is somebody who haggles over an old £2 magazine.  “I’ll give you £1”.  Fuck off.  

And she’s not making any money.  Look at this fucking shitty house that she’s living in.  And she’s getting $2000/year from Youtube.  I don’t think that she works.  

What can her 300 pound American girlfriend possibly do for a living?  Let me guess.  Computer programmer?  Computer magazine columnist?  Something with computers?  What’s the connection?  Must be all the non-stop sitting and snacking.

7:15 – Ummm….we don’t need to see this woman making out with her dog.

Then she tries to shake the horndogs down for money by being a “channel member”.  How innovative.  I’ve never seen this particular scam before.

I’ve never seen an attic like this before.  My childhood home had an attic but I never went up there.  Nobody did.  It didn’t have a floor.  It was just boards and insulation.  There was also no ladder to get up there.

I lived in a place in London that had an attic.  One day, I started hearing scratching noises up there at night.  It would happen every night.  Like something was sliding down from the angled roof.  I just dismissed it as tree branches.  I planned on moving in the near future so I didn’t really care..

But then I thought, “Somebody should probably check this out.”  So an exterminator came and the guy said that it was full of faeces.  He set some traps out. 

I stopped hearing anything and then a couple of weeks later, the guy came back to check the traps.  It was a young guy.  Usually exterminators are at least middle aged.  

This guy was fucking terrified.  He didn’t want to go up to that shit-filled attic and possibly fight off some rats.  But professional integrity demanded it.  

None of the traps were sprung but I didn’t hear anything else so it must have worked.  I assume that he put poison down too.  

But yeah, that expedited my quest to find another place to live.

If you’d like to see more rats in the attic of a shitty property, you can check out TheGebs’s video.

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