Classic Concentration and Wheel of Fortune on NES! – Erin Plays (Part 1 of 2)

She cut a huge chunk of the stream out right at the start.  I talked about it yesterday.

But she starts the stream by answering a question from a horntard about playing Jeopardy.  She dismisses the idea, probably because it requires answering semi-academic questions and she doesn’t want to expose herself as a complete moron.  I think that that horse has left the barn.  Her name is Crystal Quin.

Then she says that she never saw Concentration before.  

Hey guys!  Remember Concentration?  That 1980s game show hosted by the late Alex Trebek?

Sure I remember it.  I used to watch it all the time.  How about you, Erin?  No?  Oh.  But you want to watch it.  Why now?  I’m not sure if the episodes really hold up.  It’s a pretty simple game.  

I’m reminded of the stream where Mike is talking about how good Levar Burton was as a guest host on Jeopardy and Erin was all in with her agreement.  Yeah, that Levar Burton guy was really great.  So then Mike asked Erin who another guest host was and Erin had no fucking clue.  She couldn’t even name a single person.  

It was just more lies.  Erin isn’t watching Jeopardy.  Erin never saw Levar Burton hosting the show.  She doesn’t even know who Levar Burton is.  

Then NewWaveJunkie says that you can watch Concentration on Pluto TV, whatever that is, and Erin says, “That’s right!  I’ve been watching it!”.  She goes on to say that she’s been watching Match Game reruns and The Price is Right from the 70s and 80s.  It’s a lie.  It has to be.  Everything she says is a lie.

“Oh, you were playing Animaniacs on Genesis.  That’s cool.”

That’s her only reply to anything that anybody ever says.  It’s a combination of not giving a fuck, not being able to have a conversation, and not knowing anything about the topic.  Whatever the topic is.  Video games, in this case.  So she always just says, “That’s cool”.

It’s like James Rolfe who just says “Yeah” to everything.  Although, he’s autistic.  I don’t think that Erin has autism.  

Then she says that she hasn’t been playing games recently because she has carpal tunnel syndrome.  I mention this in more detail in my post yesterday.

“Kieran told you to come here?  That’s cool.  Yeah, Kieran is streaming and Mike is streaming so if you’re here, thank you because those people are like cooler than I am.”

Why the fuck is Kieran telling people to go to Erin’s stream?  He thinks that he’s going to get a date out of this?  Unless Kieran suddenly becomes huge on Twitch and/or Youtube, it’s not happening.

“Apparently, I can’t breathe.  It’s just like allergies.  Same old shit every day.  I’m sorry that I’m always complaining.”

Yeah.  Especially about IMAGINARY health problems.

Somebody mentions Charles Nelson Riley from Match Game.  Erin claims that he’s her favourite.  Then she says, “Brett…is it Brett…Somers?  She makes me a little nervous but I like her.  I like them all.”

She doesn’t even know their names.  She might have seen two episodes.  If that.  Now she’s all about Match Game.  Until the next made up interest takes over.  What’s it going to be next?  Webster?  Popples?

“And I really like the host…(long pause)…Ray Born…Ray Burn.”

I’m not making this up.  The man’s name is Gene Rayburn but she called him Ray Born.  She took a bastardised version of his last name and made it one full name.  She paused between the “Ray” and the “Born”.  She think that his name is Ray Born.  And then she switched to Ray Burn.

Fuck.  I have to download this Twitch stream now.  I don’t care how many gigs it is.  I’ll buy an external hard drive if necessary.  This can’t be lost to the ages like that stream where she said that she got first place in Fortnight on her first attempt and then again when she teamed up with Mike.

Then she says, “Wait, what’s his name?  Holy shit.”  And she stares at the chat hoping for some help but nobody tells her the name.  So she just changes the subject.

She’s a big Match Game fan, guys.  She just got through saying that she likes all of the “regulars” but Charles Nelson Riley is her favourite.  But she barely knows Brett Somers’ name and she doesn’t know the host’s name.  

How can she possibly say that she likes the “regulars” when it’s clear that she’s never seen more than one or two episodes?  How can she know who the “regulars” are based on one or two episodes?  

Ray Born is spinning in his grave.

Oh, finally.  NewWaveJunkie to the rescue. He says “Gene Rayburn.”

Why doesn’t anybody in the chat say, “Wait a minute…you’re a total fraud, Erin.  Stop lying to us”?  No, they just go along with the lies.  Why?  They have to know that this is all a pack of lies.  It’s fucking obvious.  Even these literal retards have to be able to see this.  But they not only go along with it, they actively assist in her lies.

“I was obsessed with Casper when I was little.”

Tell us all that you know about Casper, Erin.  I think that she just did.

“I miss Bob Barker too, Jose.”

She knows absolutely nothing about Bob Barker.

“Miracle Piano is a game I’ve never played.”

You don’t say.

So then she does a new intro and before that she said, “Just in case I upload this to Youtube, which I probably won’t.”  This is the intro that we see in the Youtube video.  So she cut the first 12 minutes out.  

0:15 – So now we’re back to the Youtube version.  She’s choosing a character to play as.  “There’s not going to be a red-haired girl.”  Just pick somebody, you fucking bore.

0:45 – “My name is just going to be Erin.  I’m not peppy enough yet to think of a funny name.”

Or witty enough.  Or charismatic enough.  Or entertaining enough.

“I guess that I could have made it like “Buttmunch” or something.”

Well, no, because there’s clearly only space for like six characters.

1:30 – She says that she only played this game a few times and never by herself.  So Mike must have forced her to play this game with him.  Why?  He must know that she’s not interested in this shit.  

I’ve tried to get my girlfriend interested in stuff that I like.  Show her a tv show that I like, for example.  Within two minutes, she’s looking at her phone and doing other things.  So it’s disheartening for me and painfully boring for her.  So don’t bother.  Just watch your fucking Real Housewives of Atlanta in my girlfriend’s case and listen to your Britney Spears in Erin’s case.

Then Erin takes number suggestions from the horntards.  Who fucking cares?  Just pick a number.

2:30 – One of the prizes is a VCR.  “I want a VCR!”.  Then she tells a bizarre story about how she needs a new VCR and “a few years ago they said they weren’t going to make VCRs anymore” so she’s “paranoid that there’s not going to be a VCR in my life any more.”

Are they really still making VCRs?  I don’t think so.  I’m seeing something from 2016 saying that the last company why made them is no longer doing so.

But more to the point, what does Erin need a VCR for?  For her giant VHS collection?  Show us your VHS collection, Erin.  Her video game collection was ridiculously small and she actually does this as a “job” so these are props for her.  I want to see just how small this VHS collection is.  In reality, she doesn’t have a single VHS.  So what does she need the VCR for?

By the way, the Erin Plays VHS shirt is no longer available on her “merch” store and hasn’t been for some time.  She just quietly dropped it.  Here’s where I talk about it:

She only has the shirt with a disc on it now.  I guess that the VHS shirt is a collector’s item now.

3:30 – She thinks that she knows a match.  Tiles 21 and 25 are the matching pair.  She just opened tile 21 recently and thinks, but isn’t sure, that 25 is the matching tile.  She opened tile 25 a while ago.

So when it’s her turn, she immediately goes to tile 21 and then tile 25.  This is stupid.  She should have went to tile 25 first to make sure that this was the tile she was thinking of.  Because if it turned out that she was wrong, she could have just picked a different tile.  

It’s a minor point when playing these matching card type games that most people master by the age of six or so.  But because Erin never played any card matching games as a child or did anything as a child, she doesn’t know the finer points of the game.

Then one of the horntards helps her with the rebus puzzle.  Just let her play the fucking game herself.  Don’t help.  Let’s see just how terrible she is at this shit.

5:00 – She knows the answer to the puzzle and she says that it’s because the last time she was playing (which was with Mike, a fact that she doesn’t mention) this was one of the puzzles.

6:00 – “That’s cool, Sergio.”

Let’s see what Sergio actually said that was so cool.

Oh yeah.  John Riggs is in the chat.  He said, “Asian Trip, congrats, it’s Iran.”  One of the prizes that Erin has is “Asian trip”.  She never mentions this for whatever bizarre reason.  Maybe she thinks it’s racist to say “Asian trip”.

But John Riggs’ comment is…stupid.  I guess that technically Iran is in Asia but who would…nobody thinks of Iran as an Asian country.  You would say, “Middle East”.  But he’s trying to be funny and Erin is ignoring all of his comments.  

Oh.  Sergio’s “cool” comment is, “Erin, 3 is my favourite number too!  for real, since I was very young! (weird emoji).”

Go get a girlfriend, Sergio.  This is pathetic.

7:45 – Somebody asked if Erin can play an instrument and she says that she used to take drum lessons.  I’d guess that she did that for a week or two and then stopped.

8:30 – “The reason that I got stressed about drumming is because I couldn’t do paradiddles and all of that stuff.”

So you quit.  Fine.  Nobody cares about you or your childhood “stress”.

“I didn’t have a lot of, I don’t know if ‘will power’ is the right word, as a teenager.  I gave up easily.”

Well, that seems to be a trait that has followed Erin throughout her life.

Oh, she says that she took these lessons for a few years.  But never mastered the basics of drumming.

Do a stream where you show off your percussion skills.  Just Erin standing behind a snare drum doing paradiddles.

9:45 – Then Erin fucks up because she didn’t use my match game tip that I explained earlier.

11:00 – Then the horntards give her the answer to the puzzle.

13:00 – So now it’s the speed round.  Erin talks about how this is “stressful”. 

Oh fuck.  She just picks tiles at random and doesn’t even look to see what they say.  

 She got two matches.  She needed seven.

14:15 – Shout out to her “carpal tunnel”.

15:30 – John Riggs says that if she wins the next game, he’ll gift five subs.  I can’t find this in the Twitch stream but…she says it so…I don’t know.  

20:30 – The horntards give her the answer again.  It’s “Copenhagen”.

Then she can’t spell it so checks the chat a couple of times.

23:30 – I’ll say that the answer is “Family Feud”.

Oh fuck yeah.  I beat the horntards.  The horntards gave the answer a few seconds after I did.

Then Erin says of Family Feud, “The best show ever.  I miss Richard Dawson, that creepy, creepy bastard.”

She’s never seen the show and she knows nothing about Richard Dawson.

24:30 – Erin doesn’t know that the sheep represents a ewe.  Because she’s an idiot.  She doesn’t even know that it’s a sheep.

“What animal head is that?  What animal am I looking at?”

“A ‘ewe’?  A fawn?  A ‘ewe'”?

She’s never even heard of the word “ewe” before.

“Oh my god.  That’s a deep cut.  A female sheep is called a ‘ewe'”?

“I’m from LA.  I don’t know that shit.”

One doesn’t need to be raised on a farm to know this.  One only needs to receive the most rudimentary of educations.

I’m trying to think where I learned this.  Yeah, I have a vague memory of a lesson in an early grade about the names of different male and female animals.  It was a vocabulary class, presumably.  Or maybe it’s just something that you pick up.  But yeah.  Erin is a total moron.

And she lives in rural Pennsylvania.  Are there no sheep there?

There might not be.  I never saw a sheep until I moved the UK.  You see them when you’re taking a train through countryside.  The sheep are chilling out there.  

And you can buy lamb meat in the stores.  Like lamb hamburgers and maybe lamb ground meat.  You can also get venison burgers.  I never saw any of this shit in the US.  It seems to be all cows over there.  Cows, pigs, and chickens.  Few sheep.  

25:15 – Speed round again.  She got two the last time.  Let’s see how she does this time.

By the way, even the horntards were making fun of Erin for not knowing what a ewe is.  

She got four.  “That’s the best I’ve done.”  You mean in the two times that you’ve played this game?  Super.

By the way, they give you a password after this bonus round.  I suspect that if you enter this password and win again, they’ll give you five more seconds to play this game.  It’s like how they would do it for returning champions on the real game.

27:00 – NewWaveJunkie says, “Jon Voight’s LeBaron” and Erin doesn’t know what he’s talking about at all.  She never watched Seinfeld, of course.  It was only the most popular show of “the 90s”.  And Erin is all about “the 90s”.  But somehow she missed this hidden gem Seinfeld.

“I’ve heard of Jon Voight and I know that a LeBaron is a type of car.”

Well, no shit Erin.  This bonus round is ALL car models.  Haven’t you figured this out?

28:00 – “I’m not a car person.  I just want one that’s reliable and drives for a long time and is comfortable.”

Well, you’re making $250/month.  As long as you keep saving and don’t spend any of that money, you should be able to get a good used car in about three years.

28:30 – “It was like the first day of college and it was one of those annoying get to know your classmates exercises that I hate.”

Boy, is she right.  Those things are fucking awful.  

Anyway, one of the questions was what your dream car would be and Erin didn’t know anything about cars so she said a Lexus.  And the girl she was paired with thought that this was a stupid answer and that Range Rover would be a better answer.

But yeah.  Fuck those introductory games that they would do for college or whatever.

“But now, I wish I could get a Pontiac or like a Trans Am from the 1980s.  I want a Trans Am from the 80s but like a new one.”

Does Erin even realise that Pontiac is the make and Trans Am is the model?  This is to say that there are many Pontiacs out there.  It’s like saying, “I want a Ford”.  

But Erin wants a new car from the 1980s.  Makes sense.  Let’s get back to the game.

“Ideally it would be bubblegum pink with sparkles.”

Okay, cool.  There’s a lot more Concentration to get to.  There’s another 90 minutes here.  

31:15 – “Yeah, the Trans Am from Knight Rider was pretty sweet.   Kitt or whatever his name was.  See, I never saw an episode of Knight Rider.”

You don’t say.

Then one of the horntards suggests that she get a master’s degree and Erin says, “No, I’m done.  I’m done.”

It’s not a terrible idea.  If she got a degree in something that actually would lead to a job, it might be good.  And I’m sure that Mike would pay the tuition so it costs her nothing.  Why not?  Get a degree in nursing or something.  Can you do that or do you need a bachelor’s degree in nursing first?  It seems that you need an associate’s degree in nursing.  So that would be two years…is there no fast track program for people who already have a degree, though?  

Something for Erin to look into.  Don’t just immediately pooh-pooh the idea of getting a real job one day.  Do something.  Learn a trade.  I’ve suggested plumbing many times and I genuinely think that that would be good for Erin.  She could make some money with that.  

34:00 – The horntards give her the answer again.

34:30 – “Would I like to be in James’ horror movie?  No because I can’t act.  I’m not an actor.”

Well, that hasn’t stopped you from playing video games, on stream, for money, despite the fact that you have no interest in or experience with video games.  So why not give acting a try?   

35:45 – “You saw a DeLorean?  That’s cool.  That’s something you don’t see every day.”

She has NO IDEA what this is.  So once again, she goes to her “That’s cool” response.

“I don’t like that eyeball.  It reminds me of…what was it called…Neon Flux?  That Mtv show.”

No, that was Aeon Flux, Erin.  You’re all about Mtv and the 90s, aren’t you?  This should have been right up your alley.  And it was a cartoon.  You like cartoons.  Remember He-Man?  That show you allegedly watched for the first time as a 33 year old woman?  Or what about Daria?  You claimed to have watched that show in “the 90s”.  But Aeon Flux passed you by?  

She was like eight years old when the show ended so too young to be watching it but that’s never been a barrier for her.  She likes loads of shit that was from before she was even born.  Like NES games, for example.  Or Rainbow Brite.  Or Richard Dawson’s Family Feud.

Then when one of the horntards corrects her, she says, “Ay-on Flux.  I was close”.  She pronounces the “AE” as “A”.  She’s never seen this shit in her life.

39:45 – One of the horntards gives her the answer.  She was thinking “prison” but the actual answer is “Conway Twitty”.

I want to see Erin do this shit by herself.  She would get completely destroyed.  

41:45 – Bonus round for Erin, thanks to the horntards again.  She got four again.  “It’s so stressful”.  She also blames it on her “carpal tunnel”.  Fuck off.

Then some horntard gives her a pro tip for playing matching games.

44:00 – A horntard suggests that she plays Just Dance.  Uh huh.  Erin says “I’m not that sort of personality.”  

“I want to do a hoola hoop stream.  I can hoola hoop for long periods of time.”

That would work for the horntards too.

45:00 – “What kind of books do I like to read?  Ummm…”

I can not wait.  Let’s hear it, Erin.  You have a degree in English.  Can you even think of the name of ONE book.

“(After a long pause) The past ten years, I’ve been into like non-fiction stuff.”

Just one book, Erin.  Give us the name of ONE book.

 “The last book I read, which I didn’t finish, was…ummm….the one about Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth.”

ONE book, Erin.  I want the name of ONE book.  It can even be something as stupid as a biography of some “the 90s” music group.  But give us the NAME of a book.  ONE book.  You’re an avid reader, right.  You’ve been really into “non-fiction stuff” for the past decade.  And you have a degree in English.  ONE book.  Go on.

“It was her, umm, biography or memoire or whatever you want to call it.”

What was the name of it?  What was the name of this book that you haven’t finished and don’t even know what genre it is?

“I started it like a while ago and then I just forgot about it.”

But you just got done saying that you’ve been reading non-fiction for the past ten years.  THIS is the book that you come up with?  A book that you didn’t even finish?  

Okay.  Give us a different book that you’ve read then.

No.  She just smiled nervously because she knows that she got exposed as a fraud yet again and then changed the subject.

Let me look this up.  I believe that she was thinking of Kim Gordon: Girl in a Band: A Memoire.  So the word “memoire” is actually in the title.  Erin had a hazy memory of this so mentioned it.  But she couldn’t remember the title.  And I don’t think that she knows what a memoire is.  

The book was published in 2015.  She probably got it around that time and hasn’t yet got around to finishing it.  She “forgot” about it.  That seems to happen a lot to Erin.  

So now she’s talking about her “carpal tunnel” again.  She just gave up on books.

I want to see a literary stream with Erin.  Or do a series of Youtube videos.  Talkin’ About Books.  She has a degree in English.  Why the fuck not?  This would be perfect for her.  And the carpal tunnel shouldn’t be a problem.  Just turn pages or swipe or click or whatever you have to do.  She can handle that.  Change the channel to an all literary channel.  Fuck video games.  You’re not interested in that shit anyway.  Books are “where your heart is.”

46:30 – “But yeah, like in high school and college, I was really into like Chuck Klosterman.”

Now we’re talking.  Erin is dropping some names.  Literary figures.  Let me look this up…a columnist for Esquire who writes about popular culture…huh.  Well…technically, he writes books.  Books don’t have to be highbrow.  Let’s hear more, Erin.

“He would do a lot of music writing.  Like he would write for Spin Magazine sometimes.”

Right…well, give us a name.  What book of his have you read?  Like 10 to 15 years ago?  While a student.  Presumably for an assignment.

No.  That’s it.  She dropped the subject again.  

Erin, let’s be honest with the audience for once.  You don’t read.  You don’t do anything.  Can’t you just say that?  

47:30 – “I have not played Earthbound, no.  I know that that’s like insane.”

Not for you it isn’t.  I’d be shocked if you did play it.

47:45 – “Show stopper!”  Ha!  I beat the horntards again.

Yeah, then they give her the answer.  Erin didn’t have a clue.

48:30 – “What’s the last thing?  It’s like a stirrer”.

No, you moron.  It’s an oar.  Unbelievable.  Maybe I misunderstood what she was responding to.  She can’t be this stupid.

Oh my god.  No, I was right.  Because then a horntard corrects her.

Even when she has the entire puzzle revealed and knows the answer, she still doesn’t know what she’s looking at.

“Show stopstirrer”

Erin isn’t even trying with matching these tiles any more because she knows that the horntards are going to bail her out every time.  She’s just picking shit at random now and doesn’t care if she gets a match or not.

50:30 – “Hay is in a lot of these?  Yeah, hay and hoes.”

That’s it?  Erin, the music super fan isn’t going to make a Ramones reference?  She doesn’t know anything about music either.  She doesn’t know anything about anything.  

Did Chuck Klosterman write anything about the Ramones?  Probably not because he’s not much older than me.  Erin’s favourite author is like 45 years old.  And she was reading his stuff 15 years ago.

 Oh, here’s something by old man Klosterman about the Ramones

That was written when he was like 25 years old.  How did he get something published in the New York Times, something that he has no first hand knowledge of, when he was 25?  I looked and despite the name, he’s not Jewish.  So I don’t know.

51:30 – And the horntards give her the answer yet again.  They’re also trying (and failing) to help her with the matches now too.

53:00 – “Yeah, I’ve played this before.”

What?  Does she mean for this stream or those two times that she played with Mike in preparation for this stream?  This is fucking ridiculous.  More lies and obfuscation.

 54:45 – Bonus round.  “This is so stressful this one.”

Fuck off.

She got two matches because she’s a moron.

Then she says that she really likes the game and can play it for a long time.  But she won’t.  She’ll never play this game ever again, unless it’s on stream, for money.

Then she moves on to Wheel of Fortune.  

This went on way too long already so I’ll do part 2 tomorrow.  Unless something really amazing happens in the world of gamer grrls.

Hey guys!  Remember Richard III?


RIP Ray Born.

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