Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCLaiRzAU-k

Fifty-six minutes?  What?  

0:00 – “Today we’re going to be doing something a little bit different.  Well, not totally different because I have talked about He-Man before on my channel.”

She’s right.  Nearly one year ago to the date.  I talk about it right here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/top-ten-he-man-games-erin-plays-httpswww.html

Sorry for the weird formatting.  Something got fucked up when I changed layouts.

Anyway, in the video reviewed there, she talks about how He-Man was before her time but she’s been watching a lot of He-Man since doing a video on He-Man for the Intellivision.  That video is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCSJOQjsyVE

I don’t think that I ever reviewed it.  It’s certainly not in the archives and I don’t even remember watching the video before.  But that video is from 10 July 2018.

But in this Top 10 He-Man games video, which was from 26 April 2020, she says, “Since then, I’ve watched a lot of episodes of the cartoon series.”  She’s saying since the July 2018 video.

Now, I don’t know many 33 year old women who are watching He-Man.  Now or in the 1980s.  But this is what Erin says.  Maybe for once in her life she’s telling the truth.  It’s been like three years since that He-Man on the Intellivision video.  Maybe she has watched them.  And it’s not like she has a job.  She has the time.  Maybe she’s just sitting there in Mike’s palatial estate watching He-Man cartoons all day.  Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt.  

Oh, also, she had a tweet recently about He- Man:  Oh fuck.  I think that she deleted it.  But she was showing off her new He-Man/Britney Spears mashup t-shirt.  It was He-Man doing some pose that Britney Spears did.  Or something.  She also wore that shirt on a recent stream.

So yeah.  Erin, a 33 year old woman, is all about He-Man now.  Why not?  I believe it.  Why wouldn’t I?  

“Recently, there are now Origins figures and Super 7 figures.”

You’re going to have to explain this to me, Erin.  I don’t know what this is.  I’m an adult man so don’t buy He-Man toys.  

“Now, I was aware that they existed but I never really looked into it.”

I didn’t know any of this, Erin.  Please explain.  We’re not all the He-Man enthusiasts that you are.

Oh, she’s wearing the Skeletor/Britney Spears shirt in this video too.  This was probably done on the same day: the stream, this video, and her tweet.

Then she shows about 15 He-Man figures, mint, on card.  

Why on earth did she buy these?  Or, more accurately, why did Mike buy these?  

Wait…what am I saying?  She bought these because she’s a huge He-Man fan now.  As a 33 year old woman.

Then she says that she wanted “her own Skeletor” and she also got the figures from the Super 7 line and the Origins line.

WHAT IS ANY OF THIS?  EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.

Now I have to fucking DuckDuckGo this.  Erin is just so far down the He-Man stream that I can’t follow what she’s saying.  She expects everyone to be a He-Man expert just like she is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNOO3Erva8c

Oh, SEO Toy Reviews is the top search result for me.  That’s Ryan from Screenwave’s god awful channel.  

But yeah, a bit suspicious that Ryan is also doing videos about He-Man toys.

I can’t watch that, though.  I’m just going to see if I can find something on Reddit or something.  

Yeah.  It seems that they’re just two toy lines by two different companies but the figures look pretty much identical.  I think that they also look like the original 1980s toys.  I’m not sure how any of this is legal but whatever.  Figures from both lines retail for about $15.  

She then shows Mike’s original Skeletor.  And she openly admits that it’s Mike’s.

Then she keeps going on and on and on about how she likes the new Skeletor better because it’s hers.  This is so fucking…no.  I’m not going to get upset.  It’s just a 33 year old woman fangirling over a short-lived cartoon for boys that was cancelled years before she was born.  Nothing wrong about that.  We still have 55 minutes to go with this thing.

By the way, Erin hasn’t uploaded in three weeks.  She’s been working hard on this video for the past three weeks, I can feel it.

Oh.  Erin finally explains that the Super 7 figures look more like the cartoon whereas the Origin figures look more like the original figures.  Okay.  

2:00 – “This one’s nice because he has a totally cool shade of blue that totally matches my nail polish.”

Oh.  Yeah.  Sounds like Erin is really into He-Man.  Skeletor in particular.  He’s a nice hue.

Then she takes them out of the package, thereby ruining their value on the collectors’ market.

2:30 – “I like them both.  I am going to display both Skeletors because I like them both.”

Oh thank fuck.  I was worried.  She has all of these fucking Skeletors.  What is she going to do with them?  She has to decide.  Sophie’s Choice style.  No.  She’s going to display BOTH of them.  Genius.  Just an entire room of Skeletors.  For a 33 year old woman.

Where exactly will these be displayed?  Maybe on her new shitty shelves in her streaming closet.  That way we can all enjoy them.

By the way, she has a new background for this video.  I see a Virtual Bart poster and an Atari’s Haunted House poster and a Donkey Kong poster and all kinds of fun old school games that Erin never played before.  There’s also a He-Man type plastic shield on the wall.  Because 33 year old Erin is all about He-Man.

3:00 – Then she gives an extended review on the different hues of the old school Skeletor sword compared to the Origins sword.  She REALLY likes talking about colours.  Which shade of purple does Erin prefer?  Get ready for a two minute explanation.

3:30 – “I like how you can put the little sword in his back.  It’s cute.  I like it.”

Erin has never owned a toy before.  At least not a toy sold and marketed to boys before.  But now she does.  Now she owns 15 He-Man toys.  As a 33 year old woman.

4:00 – Ever want to hear Erin read the little card that comes in these He-Man toys?  Now’s your chance.

4:30 – “Now it’s He-Man time.”

And she’s holding two He-Man figures.  He-Men, perhaps.  One from each toy line.  

What in the name of fuck is the point of any of this?  Let’s say that she has 14 of these figures.  That’s $15 times 14 so…$210.  That’s her entire month’s wage from Youtube.  Doesn’t she have anything better to spend her money on?

It was obviously Mike who bought this.  Mike buys everything for Erin.  Erin doesn’t make any money and she doesn’t have a job.  But still, this is fucking idiotic in the extreme.  What the fuck is she going to do with this garbage?  She says she’s going to display them.  WHY?  Who is going to be impressed with this?  What 33 year old woman displays He-Man figures?  This is a fucking fraud.  She has NO interest in this WHATSOEVER.  She’s doing this for stupid fucking “CONTENT” for her stupid fucking fraud of a channel which is watched by stupid fucking retards.

5:00 – “Here are the new He-Man figures.  He’s so tan.”

You know what would be a good gift for Erin?  An upholstery sample book. She could just flip through and appreciate all of the different colours.  

5:15 – Then she starts reading the box…

She’s already out of ideas. 

Do I really want to watch another 50 minutes of Erin reading boxes and talking about colours?  This whole thing is a fucking farce.  The woman is 33 years old and has never watched a He-Man cartoon in her life.  She wasn’t even born when the show was on.

Oh, I found that tweet that I was talking about earleir.

https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1379999385451368448

And in the comments, she talks about her love for Merman.  And she uses the same animated gif in the video that she used here.  Because Erin is ALL ABOUT Merman.  As a 33 year old woman.

I don’t need to explain why I keep mentioning her age, do I?  Even when the show was on the air, no 33 year olds were watching this shit.  It was a show for 8-12 year old boys.  Why in holy fuck would Erin, a 33 year old woman, be watching this shit today?  

There are cartoons that I watched as a child.  How many of those cartoons do i watch today, as a middle aged man?  NONE OF THEM.  NOBODY DOES THIS.  

He-Man was fucking trash.  Just like all of those cartoons.  There’s no deep stories to any of this shit.  The animation was horrible.  They were fucking shoddily-made commercials to sell the toys.  

But Erin is watching this shit as a 33 year old woman.  Having no experience with He-Man up until the age of about 31.  And even then, she was only “interested” in He-Man for the purposes of making a Youtube video.

7:15 – One iconic thing about Prince Adam and He-Man is his hair.”

Really.  Do tell.  I didn’t really follow the show or the cartoons but I don’t remember hearing ANYTHING about his hair.

7:30 – “This is more like natural blonde and this is like cartoon blonde.”

She’s comparing the two figures.  By hue, of course.  Because that’s what we all care about.  Which figure has the most pleasing shade of yellow?  That’s what I’m going to make my purchasing decision on.

8:00 – “If you didn’t get these in the 80s, there was a long time when you couldn’t find He-Man figures.”

Well, no shit.  Oh my god.  I don’t even know what to say any more.

9:15 – She’s comparing the Beast Man figures now.  

“He’s very bright.  He’s very neon.  He’s very radical.”

Oh my fucking god.  Just go away, Erin.  Do something else with your life.  This is fucking idiotic.  Who the fuck wants to hear this dumb bitch talk about colours for 55 minutes?  This is a total fucking fraud.  Some drooling imbeciles are sitting there with their pants around their ankles jerking off over this Romper Room shit.  It’s disgusting.  This whole thing is disgusting.  She’s wasting her life with this.

How much longer can she possibly do this?  I can’t believe that she’s even doing it now.  

Then she starts reading the fucking boxes again.

Then she shows the original figure and goes over the different colours that he has.  I’m not even joking.  She describes the different colours on this thing. 

I can’t do this.  Fifty-five minutes?  This is unbelievable.  Who would possibly want to watch this?  

“The thing I noticed about him is that his armour is more of a brick red.”

We all know what the colours are, Erin.  We can see the fucking figure.  You don’t have to point out what colour everything is.  We’re not in the first grade.  We’ve all mastered colours by now.  Even the biggest fucking retard watching this knows his colours.  

11:00 – “I just noticed on these Super 7 figures it says, ‘adult collector.'”.

Erin LOVES reading packaging material.  And this makes for such FASCINATING “content”.  Tell us some more stuff that you’ve read on the packaging, Erin.  

“I don’t know why that makes me laugh.”

Nor do I.  Do you want to take a moment to gather your thoughts and present something INTERESTING to say for a change?

13:30 – “When you were a kid, you liked glow in the dark stuff.”

No I didn’t.  Don’t tell me what I liked.  Tell us what YOU liked. It wasn’t He-Man, that’s for damn sure.  She only got into He-Man as a 31 year old woman ,while making “content” for Youtube.

“I had a Barbie, like her dress glowed in the dark.”

Okay.  Makes sense.  Girls played with Barbie.  

Why don’t you go out and buy some Barbies?  It would still be weird.  Why would a 33 year old woman be buying Barbies?  But people do that.  

There are women out there who are buying Barbies out of some *nostalgia* for the toys they had as a child.  Maybe their parents threw their dolls away and it traumatised them and they’re trying to collect them again.  Whatever.  

Same with men who buy toys that they had as a child.  There are men who do this.  

These people are all giant nerds but giant nerds exist.  

What doesn’t exist is somebody suddenly at the age of 33 deciding that they’re going to take an interest in a line of toys that they had no interest in as a child.  I never had the urge to buy a Barbie, for example.  Why would I?  First of all, I’m an adult.  Secondly, I have no interest in that shit even as a kid.  What would have changed that would have caused me to suddenly become interested in Barbies?  

This is so ridiculously fake.  Mike spent two hundred bucks so that this woman could release some more bad “content” on Youtube.  Two hundred bucks is a lot of money to a lot of people.  It’s a lot of money to Erin.  She’s making that much in a month.  

14:00 – She talks about how she used to go to garage sales as a child and that’s how she got into “Rainbow Brite and other stuff that was out before I was born.”

Like what?  We’ve all heard about your fondness for Rainbow Brite but tell us about some of the other stuff.  Is there anything else?  

Then she says that she can’t understand why she never got into She-Ra.  “Maybe I just didn’t see any She-Ra stuff”.  

Okay.  I can buy that.  So you first heard about She-Ra as a 31 year old?  Even if that’s true, why would it cause such an intense reaction in you that you now have to go out and spent hundreds of dollars on these shitty toys?  

I’m intrigued by a lot of the Sid and Marty Krofft stuff.  It came out before I was born.  It looks interesting.  Weird, psychodelic children’s shows.  

So how much of that shit have I watched?  None of it.  I’m interested but not that interested.  Not interested enough to actually watch even a single episode of, say, H.R. Pufnstuf.  But as a concept, it seems cool.  

20:30 – SHe says that she’s going to display this shit in her “game room”.  That means her “streaming room”.  Because that’s the only time when she plays video games.

So yeah.  We finally learn why she bought this shit.  Mike bought her these shitty shelves recently and she wants to have kooky shit to put on there.  So she went out and bought some kooky shit.  Or rather Mike bought it.  

You know what?  I’m done.  She’s talking about the fucking makeup on some character.  And all the different colours of the makeup.  FUCK OFF.

This has to the worst fucking video I’ve ever seen in my life.  But I suppose that it’s some kind of insight into the type of “content” that Erin could produce if she wasn’t making video game “content”. 

You know how she always talks about colours and how things are “cute” in video games?  Well, as it turns out, that’s all that she talks about with ANYTHING.  

Let’s see what the horntards say.

– “your skeletor impression is my ringtone now lol”

He blows his load every time his phone rings now.  Unfortunately, nobody ever calls him.

– “Are you familiar with the Masters of the Universe books that Dark Horse publish?”

I’ll give you one guess, Micronoid.

– “I had no idea you loved he man too erin?”

I wonder how many years of special education this guy had.

– “Sorry, I can’t ignore this question hahaha …Did you envy boys toys as a kid?”

No.  She had Barbies and possibly Rainbow Brite.  She wasn’t interested in boys’ toys.  She still isn’t.  Why would she be?  She’s 33 years old.  This was done entirely for “content”.

– “Another outstanding and entertaining video. Thanks for entertaining.”

– “I wonder what the average ag is for people subscribed to this channel.”

Erin replies with, “Late 20-40s.”

Oh.  So just those twenty years.  You want to narrow it down any?  I don’t think that she knows what the mathematical term “average” means.

– “OOOHH, so does this mean now that being a 50 year old boy it’s OK for me to get my Barbie and Ken dolls out, fill up my Tiny Tears doll and also start playing Barbies Horse Adventures on the PS 2 and Disney Princess Enchanted Journey without any guilt? Cool!” 

This is from that creepy guy who said that he was old enough to be Erin’s grandfather.

Somebody talks about radical it was to be an “80s kid” and Erin replies with, ” know! I was born in late 87 so I was more of a 90s kid, BUT that didn’t stop me from being obsessed with things like Rainbow Brite when I was little, lol.”

WHAT OTHER THINGS?  Just give ONE example other than Rainbow Brite.

– “This channel has evolved into something great and amazing. Love and ADORE yours and Mike’s streams. I watch them often at my security job and I’m so thankful for the both of you! Your content provides me with much joy! LONG LIVE ERIN PLAYS”

This guy is on another planet.

– “Erin’s background is a complete work of art.”

Then one of the horntards says, “Erin herself is a work of art.”

Yeah.  She’s a real “hottie”, boys.  Fucking unbelievable.  But we don’t need to get into that discussion.

A remarkably shit video.  And it proves that Erin is incapable of talking about ANYTHING in a remotely interesting fashion.  Everything is just about colours and how “cute” things are.  She could do videos on literature or physics or politics or whatever and it would somehow all be about colours and cute things. 

She’s stupid.  She’s a remarkably stupid woman.  It explains how she thought that this fake gamer grrl scam would have been a success.  Anyone with a brain would have realised that there’s zero chance of this succeeding but Erin, being the dimwit that she is, thought that this was going to work.  A gaming channel run by a woman with absolutely no knowledge of, interest in, or experience with video games.  A woman with negative charisma.  A woman who can only talk about colours and cute things.  A woman who’s a 5/10 in appearance at best.  Completely delusional.

Two hundred bucks a month.  It’s just such a tragic waste of a life.  She could be working at a record store right now and making nine bucks an hour.  More than that.  Minimum wage if like $15/hour in California, I think.  Any job would be better than this fake gamer grrl shit.