Destiny Fomo's OnlyFans Review

My most viewed post by far is this one:

The title is Destiny Fomo’s OnlyFans.  It’s a review of a video that she did.  She titled the video “Destiny Fomo’s OnlyFans”.  In the video, she just encourages you to go to her OnlyFans.  She has since removed that video.

That was nine months ago.  I get ten hits a day just for that post.  The post itself is not interesting.  Her video was not interesting.  It’s just horndogs Googling “Destiny Fomo’s OnlyFans” and landing on that article.

So let me do an actual review of the “content” one will find on Madam Fomo’s OnlyFans.  I’m not a subscriber and never have been but this is what I’ve pieced together from various sources.

First of all, IT’S NOT NUDE.  Let me be clear on that.  If you’re looking for nudes, look elsewhere.   She even says on the site, “I do lewds NO nudes”.

I’ve seen leaked images and videos of her OnlyFans and of “sexy” content that she used to post…somewhere…pre-OnlyFans.  You are not missing anything.  It’s a woman in a one piece bathing suit taking a bath.  Shit like this.  She has bubbles on her chest and she’s in a bathtub but she’s wearing a one piece bathing suit.  

It’s this level of “content”.  You can see more skin in old Sears catalogues.  

To give you some indication of just how bad it is, I saw what I believe to be the entire leaked content of her OnlyFans (at the time) and I didn’t save ANY of it.  This was, I don’t know, three months ago?  Four months ago?  But all indications are that it’s the same shit now.  It’s cheesecake photos.  

You can go to PornHub right now, type in “vintage erotica” in the “photos” section and see WAY more hardcore stuff.  There’s a picture there of a guy who looks like a young Mark Twain giving it to some chick wearing a bonnet.  That picture had to be taken 150 years ago and yet it’s more hardcore than anything you’ll see on Destiny Fomo’s OnlyFans.

Nothing I’ve seen of Madam Fomo is even remotely titillating.  This is subjective, of course.  Maybe you like looking at pictures of a woman in a costume bathing suit with bubbles on her chest.  But that’s a very specific fetish.  For the average person out there who likes looking at naked ladies, move on.  Don’t waste your time with Madam Fomo’s OnlyFans.

I’m trying to think of an example where you can see similar “content”.  Well, a lot of people post this sort of stuff on their Instagram.  Pictures in crop tops and whatnot.  I mean, that’s all this is.  She’ll wear shorts and show her ass but…you know…she’s wearing shorts.  Who cares?  You can just go outside on a hot day and see hundreds of women wearing shorts.  

This is why she keeps lowering the price.  She started at $20/month.  Then it was $10/month.  Now she seems to have settled on $5/month.  She claims that this is a limited time 50% off “offer” but no.  This is the normal price.  If you just keep waiting, eventually she’s going to lower the price to the point where she’ll pay you to subscribe.

And here’s where things get really sleazy.  Once you subscribe with your five bucks a month, you’ll get hit up to give MORE money for custom pictures or videos.  And even these are not nude.  

So if you want to spend, whatever, $30 for a custom picture of Madam Fomo wearing a tank top and booty shorts, you can do that.  But why would you?  Why would anyone?  

This is why she aggressively promotes this OnlyFans.  Because nobody wants this shit.  People subscribe, they’re excited, “Oh yeah!  I’m going to see some titties!  Only five dollars!”  Then they see Madam Fomo in a costume bathing suit with bubbles on her chest and have instant buyer’s remorse.  Then they have to cancel their subscription and notify their bank to give them a new credit or debit card just to make sure that no further charges are applied.

She needs a steady stream of new horny losers because the content is bad.  Really bad.  I didn’t want to look at it for free.  No way is it worth paying for.  

You would have more “fun” going to Google’s image search and typing in “one piece swimsuit”.  

Or…brace yourself, gentlemen…it’s my understanding that you can get pornography on the internet these days which is fully nude.  And it costs nothing.  

Gone are the days when you had to jerk off to a picture of Dolly Parton on the cover of TV Guide.  

Hustler, or some similar publication, used to review pornographic movies on a penis scale.  It was similar to the star scale but using a penis instead.  So a flaccid penis was for really unsatisfying pornographic movies, a semi would be for not so good pornos, a chubby would be for pretty good erotica, and a full erection would be for the top shelf shit. 

So using that scale, I would give Destiny Fomo’s OnlyFans…buried penis syndrome.

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