You Know What’s BS!? Bed Sheets – Cinemassacre

Jimmy “Rainmain” Rolfe reads a script where he pretends that his bedsheets don’t fit on his bed.  Here’s the simple solution to that problem: get sheets that fit your bed.  

I mean…a lot of the comments say, “This has never happened to me.”  I won’t go that far.  When I was a kid, I remember this sometimes happening.  Rarely.  But it happened.  It’s because the sheets weren’t the right size.  They might have shrunk a little.  

But as an adult?  No.  Never happened.  Get sheets that fit.  Problem solved.  No need to staple them to your bed like some kind of mental defective.

For a long time, I only had a futon.  So when my girlfriend would sleep over she would say, “Can you put a sheet on?”  Why would I put a sheet on?  The futon has covers.  I wash the covers.  It’s not like a mattress that can’t be washed.  The covers are effectively the sheets.  But whatever, I’d put a sheet on.

So at the end of this two and a half minute video, James reads an extended diatribe about alien abductions or something.  It’s fucking idiotic and has nothing to do with the topic.  But the person who wrote this trash was trying to pad things out.  Because how much can you really say about this topic?  

And it was just fucking stock footage or stolen footage from the Simpsons and various movies.  This is fucking lazy in the extreme.  Why release content that you know is bad?

I suppose that this is the ultimate question for all of these gamer grrls.  They must know that these videos are bad.  Not everything, of course.  I’m sure that Pelvic Gamer thinks that her videos are good.  She talks about all of the effort that she puts into them and they are competent, I guess.  They’re just boring as fuck.  At least to me.

Same with Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  Her videos are competent.  I guess.  But boring as fuck.

Bobdunga puts effort into her videos too and some of them are okay.

But take somebody like Retro Ali where she does these “reaction” videos.  She can’t possibly think that those are good on any level.  But she still releases them.  Why?  Why release “content” that you know is complete trash?

Same with Erin.  There is no way on earth that she thinks that her lazy as fuck videos where she plays a game for the first and last time ever are any good.  It’s impossible.  So why release the video?

I’ve written stuff that I didn’t think was very good.  So I delete it, rather than send it.  Why waste people’s time?  And why de-value your “content”?  

But Cinemassacre Inc and Erin and Retro Ali will release this trash just so that they can say, “I released something.”  It might be complete dog shit but it’s something.  It’s free.  If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.

That’s exactly what people do when you release trash.  They stop watching.

How hard can it possibly be to write a You Know What’s Bee Ess episode?  Andy Rooney cranked this shit out every week for like 50 years.  Let me think of a good bee ess topic.  Little annoyances in life…oh, I got one.  People who walk on the wrong side of the pavement (or “sidewalk”).  

You know what’s bee ess?  People who don’t walk on the right.  There’s an unwritten rule that about 90% of the population seems to understand: walk on the right.  But there’s that 10% who ruin it for the rest of us.  They refuse to walk on the right.  Then it becomes a game of chicken.  Who’s going to move first?  You’re in the right but this idiot doesn’t seem to be moving.  They’re convinced that walking on the left is what people should do.

And it’s even worse in crowds.  You end up having to zig zag through people because of this selfish oaf who apparently never learned this social rule.

And nine times out of ten it’s a woman.  Why can’t they just move?  They can see that I’m walking on the right.  They can see that everybody behind me is walking on the right.  But they want everybody to move out of the way to accommodate them.  Now that’s bee ess.

There’s your video.  Just steal some “hilarious” footage of people walking in movies or tv shows.  Jimmy Rolfe can appear with or without the bee ess man mask.  

We can all identify with this.  And it could lead to discussion.  “What are you talking about?  There isn’t a right side.”  Maybe some people would argue that the left side is the correct side.  

Instead, we got, “You know what’s bee ess?  Being too fucking retarded to buy bedsheets that fit my bed.  Oh, and here’s some totally unrelated and unfunny shit about aliens.”  Up your game, Screenwave.

5 thoughts on “You Know What’s BS!? Bed Sheets – Cinemassacre

  1. Speaking of “You Know What’s BS!?”, I just stumbled across this video about shoelaces:, “McNamara's Morons” ( immediately crossed my mind: “In Basic Training, he was helpless. 'Another trainee and I had to make his bunk for him because he couldn’t do it to Army specifications. I tied his boots for him every morning until another trainee had the patience and time to teach him how.”Bottom line is that the ability to tie shoelaces is a pretty good indicator in itself; now James Rolfe was genuinely complaining about it not as as child but as a fully-grown man. It shows that he is more than likely below average intelligence, to say the least.

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