Let's talk about Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. – Erin Plays


0:00 – “Hey guys!  First, I would like to mention that I do know about the redaction version of this game but this is about the original.”

I…what?  Do you want to clue us gaming noobs in on what you’re talking about?  Redaction version?  Let me look this up.

It’s a rom hack.  They changed some dialogue.  

Fucking ridiculous.  She’s so unfamiliar with games that she doesn’t know when something is well-known and when something isn’t.  For example, she’ll talk about “Wanpaku Graffiti” or Harmful Park like these are popular games that everybody knows about.  And now she’s talking about some obscure rom hack in the same way.

Then it’s footage of Erin playing this game on stream, for money.  Wow.  Talk about zero effort.  She’s not even going to play the game again for the purposes of this Youtube video.  She’s just going to show you clips from her streams.  

By the way, I didn’t watch one second of these streams.  I know that I have a responsibility to the legions of Gamer Grrls fans out there but I have my limits.  I am not watching that fucking trash.  And I noticed that the first video she uploaded to Youtube was only 30 minutes while the Twitch version was like three hours.  What’s the point?  

“Let’s talk about my experience playing Simon’s Quest for the first time”.

On stream, for money.  Of course.

And do people call the game Simon’s Quest?  As opposed to Castlevania II?  This might be a Wanpaku Graffiti situation here.  Or maybe they do call it Simon’s Quest.  I don’t know.

0:15 – “I loved Castlevania I and Castlevania III”

When I played them on stream, for money.  That part was left out.

But her Castlevania III has a signature on it.  Gullard?  Nothing is coming up.  Maybe that’s just the name of the kid who owned it previously.

1:00 – “I don’t like talking to people in real life so why would I want to in this?”

She’s talking about how you have to interact with the NPCs in the game.

But more importantly, she’s signalling to her nerd fans that she’s a nerd too.  Hey guys!  I also have difficulty in social situations!  I’m just like you!  Now give me money and I’ll be your friend!  Online.

3:15 – She flashes a picture of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on screen for a second.  She never played this before.  Why did she choose that game to illustrate the series?  

4:00 – “Most people seem to say that they play the Redacted version or use a guide.”

Who’s saying that?  When was this Redacted version even released?  Let me check again…

December 2011.  

From a quick Google search, people who are talking about this are asking about a variety of rom hacks.  “Is Redacted better than (some other obscure hack)”.  Shit like this.  It’s not nearly as popular as she thinks it is but she’s completely clueless.

Fucking rom hacks.  Most of these rom hacks…there might be a dozen people on earth who ever played them.  

I can think of one rom hack that I’ve ever played.  It was for Punch-Out.  I like Punch-Out so I was curious to see what could be done to “improve” the game.

Badly done sprite changes, a palette swap to make Mario be Luigi, and racist text changes.  That was the end of my adventures with rom hacks.

“Or you can be like me and live stream it and depend on your chat when you get stuck.”

Yeah.  That’s how she plays games.  On stream, for money.  

“Once I played it this way, I played it again on my own for a while.”

Oh, do tell.  How long is a “while”?  Is it measured in minutes or seconds?

4:30 – “I know it looks like a little dog chew toy but it becomes a shield.”

No.  It looks like a bone.  Clearly.  But she couldn’t resist some of that “X looks like Y” “comedy” that everybody enjoys.

7:45 – “How many times have you seen ‘What a horrible night to have a curse’ on a t-shirt?”

Umm…zero?  We must be travelling in different social circles.

Or Erin is, yet again, trying to portray herself as some giant nerd who loves video games.

So that’s another zero effort video done.  Let me look for one of these alleged t-shirts.

Well, they do exist.  They’re bootleg.  Most look like shit.  But are people actually wearing these?  

I don’t think that I’ve ever seen somebody wear a video game-related shirt of any description now that I think about it.

And on the subject of t-shirts, why does Erin never wear her own “merch” shirts?  Maybe she thinks it would be narcissistic.  Or maybe she knows that the designs are horrendous.

– “Hey I have a joystick you can use Erin? What do ya think eh? Wink wink nod nod.”

I think that he’s talking about his phallus.  

– “Will you play with me?”

I think that he means sexually.

– “You’re really unattractive and your voice is so cringey.  Your videos would be a little better if you stopped showing yourself.”

I’m not sure where this guy is going with these comments.

– “A chick that loves Castlevania with red hair… “The Unicorn” for me. lol”

Bad news, Don.  The hair colour is fake and the enthusiasm for video games is fake.

– “It’s annoying how many views powerpad gets vs your other videos. You definitely deserve more views but people suck and the youtube algorithm. I love your reviews! Keep up the good work.”

Erin replies with, “Hey thanks! The power pad video was a lot of work so I’m glad people are watching it but I know what you mean. It is what it is. Thanks for the support!”

I don’t even want to get into it.

– “Can you not curse a lot…”

Erin replies, “No. If you don’t like it, then maybe this channel isn’t for you and that’s okay! Please don’t ask creators to cater to your individual wishes. There’s thousands of family friendly channels out there but mine isn’t one of them.”

Then she wonders why her views are so low.  

People offer constructive criticism and she gets angry.  How about taking some of this on board?  Whatever you’re doing now, it’s not working.  

He’s right.  The profanity isn’t good.  It comes off as fake.  

But then of course there’s also the complete absence of a personality.  No life experience.  No interest in video games.  No knowledge about video games.  I mean…this isn’t a situation that can be fixed with a few pointers.

– “I like this game MORE than the first Castlevania.”

That boring insight was from JOHN RIGGS.  Erin “hearted” it.

– “I clicked for the outfit. So did you.”

No, not me.

A bunch of nerds commented on her “I don’t like talking to people” lie.  “Oh!  I’m a nerd too!”  So it had the desired effect.  Predictable bullshit.

– “Thank Goodness fur good looking girls making videos about games that came out in 1988(I am not fact checking this shit). At the time this was NES gold. You are good looking and you were not alive when this came out. you look like a 90s or early 2000’s kid. Stick to your shit and review a Spice girls game on the Playstation.”

Erin replies with, “I’m 33 and I DID review the Spice Girls game! You can hate watch it here! (gives link)”

 Eddie comes back with, “33? I am sorry for other 33 year olds. you look like you are 22 or 23. I played that other game I mentioned (not really a game) the movie was not a movie (claimed it was) either. YOU ARE AWESOME IN MY BOOK!”

Erin thought that he was being insulting.  I have to say, I didn’t quite understand his post either.  But no, he’s a big fan.  He’s jerking off over here.  Good looking girls playing old video games.  That’s his thing.  Seems a very specific fetish but a lot of people seem to have it.  Well…more than I would think, anyway.

– “I really enjoy your videos, Erin, this may sound offensive to some but honestly I have high respect for actual girl gamers who don’t rely on wearing provocatively and “accidentally” flashing the audience in order to gain more followers, you know, being an actual gamer, I mean I clicked on a video about a game because I’m interested in games, not to see, well, tips.”

About 1/4 of the comments were about her “sexy” costume.

Boring Goriya leaves a comment.  I can’t even copy and paste it.  Life is too short for that shit.

– “That was good and the editing was great. You should do more like this D:”

That was from Shishi.  Doesn’t he want NEW content from Erin to jerk off to?  This was a shitty clip show.  

Television shows don’t have clip shows any more, do they?  Back in the day before reruns, a clip show might be a welcome thing.  You hadn’t seen those clips in years.  You might have forgotten.  Maybe you even missed an episode that’s being included in this clip show.

But then with syndication and reruns, clip shows started to become an unwelcome visitor.  If you’ve already seen the episode five times, as recently as a few days ago, you don’t want to see it again.

Then with the advent of DVD box sets and now streaming services, nobody wants that shit.  

But Erin thinks that a clip show of some streams that she did a week earlier is a good idea.  She’s just so fucking lazy.  How does she hope to build an audience with this z-grade, no effort content?  

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