Gojira and Godzilla Review – Castzilla VS The Pod Monster – Tony from Hack the Movies


It’s some Godzilla podcast.  Nobody appears on screen.

What the hell is this?  His co-host is Johanna, who Tony describes as, “from nothing”, to contrast Tony being from Hack the Movies “and Cinemassacre, sometimes”.

I reject this straight away.  What woman is interested in Godzilla?  Godzilla appeals to pre-pubescent boys.  What’s next?  An all-woman podcast about dirt bikes?  Or those little MUSCLE figures from 1986?  Or big bust pornography?  

Look at something like video games.  I would say that females make up 25% of the market.  So it’s still overwhelmingly guys but there are a considerable number of females who are interested in video games.

Godzilla…it has to be 99% dudes.  What adult woman is going to be interested in watching a film where large monsters battle it out in Tokyo?

I’m a man and I’m not interested in this.  I mean, the old films I can have some interest in them in terms of the *nostalgia* value because I watched them as a child and I can appreciate them as somebody who’s interested in old films.  But the new Godzilla films?  No fucking way am I watching that trash.  It’s stupid.  And if I didn’t watch this shit as a child, this is the same way that I would view the old Godzilla films.

But we’re supposed to believe that a grown woman is interested in these films that have a thread-bare plot, no character development, badly dubbed, and they’re just an excuse to have two guys in rubber suits fight in a miniature Tokyo.

Okay.  Let’s check it out.  Give it a chance.  The first movie is legitimate anyway.  So I’ll just put my Judy Blume book down for a few minutes and continue with the podcast.

I’ve listened to it now.  Here’s what it is: Tony quickly summarises the film.  The woman says, “yeah” periodically.  Tony gives a tiny bit of trivia.  The woman says, “yeah” periodically.  And then it finishes with Tony talking about Leonard Maltin’s review of the film.  The woman doesn’t even know who Leonard Maltin is.

Come on.  I support Tony’s “content” as much as any sane person can do but this is shit.  And if this woman is genuinely interested in Godzilla, she certainly didn’t express it in this episode.  She only watched the Japanese version of this film recently, for the purposes of this podcast.

The problem with Rental Reviews is that James was an idiot, had no interest in anything, and just said “yeah” the whole time.  This woman has now taken the James role.

It’s just bad.  I’m going to give it another chance, though.  If for no other reason, I simply want to find out if this woman is genuinely interested in Godzilla.   I’m going to guess that she isn’t.

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