Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEDMwvW3MlU

Oh my god.  I am not ready for this.  Let’s try to get through it.

0:15 – “Thank you so much to Arby’s for reaching out and for sponsoring today’s video.”

Uh huh.  “Thank you Arby’s for giving me fifty bucks to do a commercial for you.”  God, if they’re paying more than $50 for this, somebody in marketing is getting fired.

1:00 – She points out the Coca Cola sign in the background.

“There are a lot of people watching us.”

It’s a game where you run in like a stadium.

1:15 – “I could not run this much because I’m an asthmatic.”

Uh huh.  Let’s just move on.

1:30 – “I like this little guy.  He’s cute.  He has a little hat on.  Little apron.  I think I see a moustache.”

Uh huh.  We can all this, Erin.  Anything interesting to say?

“So he’s quite a hip dude isn’t he?”

In what respect?  Because he has an apron and a moustache?  Is this what hipsters are wearing now?

1:45 – “Oh wait.  I see things in the field.  Are those daisies?”

There’s very little going on with this game so she’s really struggling to come up with anything to talk about.  This is fucking shit.

2:00 – “So when Arby’s reached out, I had to say ‘yes'”

Because I really needed that fifty bucks.

Then she mentions that she was born to do this Arby’s commercial because three years ago, she did a Castlevania stream and people in the chat were briefly talking about Arby’s.  Oh yeah.  Who doesn’t remember that epic moment? 

2:45 – “Oh my god, an alien”.

This is all she can do.  Point out shit in the background.  We call all see it.  This is not entertaining.

3:00 – She mentions the time she played Track and Field using the Power Pad.  For a video, for money.

3:30 – “Look how cute that little icon is.”

Uh huh.  Is there one person in the universe who finds any of this interesting?

By the way, this game is really stupid.  You just keep pressing the “right” button or something to make the guy run.  And you have to do this for like two hours.  Sometimes an Arby’s truck will stop by and give you something from the Arby’s menu.  So you’re supposed to watch a two hour Arby’s commercial in order to get a coupon for a free gryo.

This is not worth it.  Go get a fucking job and you’ll be able to make enough money in those two hours to get a meal from a proper restaurant.  This is ghetto shit.  Using coupons for free food?  Wouldn’t you be embarrassed?  Especially given that people will know that you spent TWO HOURS playing this stupid game just to get a shit fast food corporate gyro.

5:00 – “I wonder what his name is.  Did they say his name in the beginning?”

This is brutal.

“I feel like he looks like a Chuck.”

She’s totally out of ideas.  Even by her standards.  Because the only thing she ever talks about is background shit.  But she already covered everything that’s in the background and nothing new happens in this game.  So now she’s on to names.  Colours should be making an appearance soon.

5:15 – “I wonder what the coupon will look like.”

Uh huh.  We all do.  This is very interesting.

“Oh my god.  That would be really cute if it was still like in the 8 bit style.”

Uh huh.  Cute.

6:15 – “We got a beef ‘n’ cheddar.”

Uh huh.

“Do you like how excited I got?”

No.  It’s fake.  This is all fake.  Your entire life is a lie.

6:30 – So she’s been doing this for 30 minutes now.  Apparently.  Thirty minutes of pressing the “right” button.  Doesn’t she have carpal tunnel syndrome?  What happened to that?  She hasn’t mentioned that in a while, actually.

7:15 – She suggests that the protagonist is wearing “crocs”.  Whatever those are.

9:15 – She talks about the Batman NES game.  She played this for a Youtube video.  For money.  Of course.

10:45 – She keeps going on about how “scared” she is.  Why?  I don’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care.

12:00 – She does some REALLY annoying fake “celebration”.  I don’t even want to discuss it.  Let’s move on.

12:15 – She “played” this “game” for over two hours.

She put WAY more time into this piece of shit than she has for the vast majority of games that she “reviews”.

13;15 – “I’ve never even completed a real life marathon.”

You don’t say.  So another riveting story about something that Erin DIDN’T do.

Complete trash.  Why would she even upload this?  This video was so bad that she’s going to lose subscribers over it.  Just give the fifty bucks back to Arby’s and don’t release the video.

– “Hotter in every video keep up the awesome videos”

– “I think that’s great that they are sponsoring you but c’mon Arby’s, I’d rather do real work with that time put staring at the screen and just pay for a gyro.”

Yeah.  And Erin just spent two hours on this shit plus however long it takes to edit and upload it.  I’m going to guess another two hours.  For fifty bucks.  I mean, I just pulled that figure out of my ass but it can’t be more than that, can it?  She has 50,000 subscribers.

This is worth it to her?  She gets $100/month from Youtube so $50 for one video is pretty good.  I guess.  But any job on earth pays better than this.

– “Erin plays your Soo beautiful”

– “I love you, Erin! You’re so beautiful!”

-“I  love your video Erin that’s make me so beautiful”

That’s an interesting variation on the theme.

– “Erin always brings a smile to my face with every video she drops..”

Let’s say that Erin is beautiful.  She isn’t but whatever.  Is that enough for these people?  They’re not bothered by the dishonesty, or the complete lack of personality, or the annoying voice, or the low intellect?

And let’s say that they’re not.  What then?  What do they hope to achieve with these comments?  Erin is going to go out with these guys?  Based on what?  They don’t have pictures of themselves.  Erin doesn’t know anything about these guys.  But she’s going to drop everything and go on a date with these guys, many of whom clearly do not even reside in the US, never mind the Philadelphia/New Jersey area.

So what’s the point?  Why write this shit?  What do you hope to achieve?  These are fucking morons jerking off in their mother’s basement.