This started off as a review of Tony from Hack the Movies’ latest video about Stargate. He’s bringing back Rental Reviews. I’ll review that video another day, perhaps.
When I started the video, I began to think. There’s a very narrow range of movies that they covered on Rental Reviews. It’s all nerd shit (video games, science fiction, comic books), action films, and horror.
And it’s usually a film from their beloved “the 90s”.
Hey, guys, there are other decades out there. And other genres.
So here’s my list of the films that they did on Rental Reviews, the genre, and date. In the case of two films being discussed in the same episode, I just picked the one that seemed to be most prominent in the episode.
Commando – Action (1988)
Mac and Me – Comedy (albeit unintentional, they treated the film as a comedy) (1985)
Surf Ninjas – Comedy (1993)
Street Fighter the Movie – Video game (1994)
Rad – Comedy (again, unintentional) (1986)
Predator – Action (2018)
Harry and the Henderson – Comedy (1987)
Starship Troopers – Action (1997)
From Dusk Till Dawn – Action (1996)
Event Horizon – Science Fiction (1997)
Star Trek V – Science Fiction (1989)
Mortal Kombat Annihilation – Video game (1997)
Congo – Science fiction (1995)
Halloween – Horror (2018)
Creed 2 – drama (2018)
Jingle All the Way – Comedy (1996)
Die Hard – Action (1998)
Big Trouble in Little China – Comedy (1986)
Star Wars Holiday Special – Comedy (unintentional) (1978)
Freaked – Comedy (1993)
Demolition Man – Action (1993)
Akira – Science fiction (1988)
Joysticks – Video game (1983)
Caddyshack – Comedy (1980)
Raiders of the Lost Ark – Action (1981)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom – Action (1984)
Leprechaun – Horror (1993)
Leprechaun Returns – Horror (2018)
Ernest Goes to Jail – Comedy (1990)
Roadhouse – Action (1989)
The Running Man – Action (1987)
Mortal Kombat: The Journey Begins – Video game (1995)
Kazaam – Comedy (1996)
Pokemon Detective Pikachu – Video game (2019)
The Fifth Element – Science fiction (1997)
Last Action Hero – Action (1993)
Godzilla King of the Monsters – Action (2019)
Superman IV – Superhero (1984)
Spice Girls Movie – Comedy (1997)
ROTOR – Action (1987)
Scott Pilgrim vs the World – Comedy (2010)
Kermit’s Swamp Years – Comedy (2002)
Plan 9 from Outer Space – Comedy (1959)
Dumb and Dumber – Comedy (1994)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Superhero (1990)
Duel – Horror (1971) (I wouldn’t call it a horror but that’s the way they approached it)
Dirty Work – Comedy (1998)
Anonymous Rex – Comedy (1994)
Airplane – Comedy (1980)
True Lies – Action (1994)
Sandlot – Comedy (1993)
Rambo – Action (1982)
Jurassic Park 2 – Action (1997)
The Blob – Horror (1958)
Chopping Mall – Horror (1986)
Monster Squad – Comedy (1987)
Predator – Action (1987)
Super Mario Bros – Video game (1993)
Blade Runner – Science fiction (1982)
Samurai Cop – Comedy (1991)
Spawn – Superhero (1997)
Ernest Saves Christmas – Comedy (1988)
Christmas Vacation – Comedy (1989)
Jack Frost – Horror (1997)
The Rock – Action (1996)
Ghost Rider – Superhero (2007)
National Treasure – Action (2004)
Gone in 60 Seconds – Action (2000)
Face Off – Action (1997)
Ace Ventura – Comedy (1994)
Truman Show – Science fiction (1998)
The Mask – Comedy (1994)
Man on the Moon – Drama (1999)
Drunken Master – Action (1978)
Leprechaun 2 – Horror (1994)
Bloodsport – Action (1988)
Kung Pow – Comedy (2002)
Under Siege – Action (1992)
Monkey Shines – Horror (1988)
Dunston Checks In – Comedy (1996)
Schlock – Horror (1973)
Barefoot Executive – Comedy (1971)
Flash Gordon – Science fiction (1980)
Born Free – Drama (1966)
Dennis the Menace – Comedy (1993)
Night Killer – Horror (1990)
Drop Dead Fred – Comedy (1991)
GI Joe – Action (1987)
Mortal Kombat Legends Scorpion’s Revenge – Video game (2020)
Top Gun – Action (1986)
Obviously, there’s some subjectivity in choosing the genre.
31 comedy films
26 action films
10 horror films
8 science fiction films
7 video game films
4 superhero films
3 dramas
It’s all comedy, action, horror, and nerd shit.
The three dramas can be explained away. Creed 2 was a new film and James likes Rocky (presumably for the action more than the drama). Man on the Moon was during that stupid Jim Carey month where they reviewed his horrendous “comedy” films. And Born Free had a personal connection with James because he talked about the movie with his therapist in special ed.
It’s fucking ridiculous. These people are film enthusiasts? This is mostly trash.
I’m sure if you checked the average rating of these movies on IMDB it would be about 3/10.
And almost everything is from “the 90s”, as I expected. Some 80s stuff slips in and they review a handful of (then) current films but that’s it. There’s a small number of older stuff but again it can all be explained away. Planet 9 From Outer Space is a film that James identifies with, Star Wars Holiday Special is nerd shit, Duel…there was something about this but I don’t remember. The Blob…whatever…shitty horror. Drunken Master: James’ autistic obsession with Jackie Chan. Schlock, shitty horror. Barefoot Executive…Monkey Month. And that’s it.
It’s all lowest common denominator shit. These are not the films that a film enthusiast would do videos on. It’s 1980s/90s Hollywood blockbusters, nerd shit, “muh horror films”, and shitty films that nobody has ever heard of that they just reviewed to laugh at.
Let’s look at the target audience, let’s look at marketability. Maybe the average Cinemassacre fan doesn’t want to watch a video where they review Kramer vs Kramer. Or even earlier action films like The French Connection. Or something like Easy Rider. Or The Searchers. Or The Third Man.
Maybe. But James doesn’t seem prevented from reviewing stuff from the 40s and 50s. Mostly horror but he’s also reviewed regular films from that era. I can’t remember a single interesting review but he’s done it. People seem to like it. The horror shit, anyway.
In any event, that’s all done. They’re done with Rental Reviews. James didn’t want to do them any more because he was god awful at them.
Now it’s Tony’s time to shine. And I suggest shaking things up radically. Fuck these 80s and 90s action films and the dumb comedies and the nerd shit. Nobody is watching these videos anyway. So you might as well try something different. Review films that you want to review. Intelligent films. Don’t just chase the algorithm.
I think that there’s an untapped market here. My “favourite” Rental Reviews is the Born Free episode. Not for James’ sappy autistic sentimental moment but because the film looked interesting. I never heard of it before. After I watched the video, I did some research on it. I was intrigued.
I did not have the same reaction when watching, for example, the Leprechaun 2 episode.
A classier, more cerebral Rental Reviews. That’s what I want. And it should be possible now that James is out of the picture.
And I don’t mean it has to all be art house films. It doesn’t have to be all stuff from the 70s and earlier either. “The 90s”. No problem. JFK. Romper Stomper. Hoop Dreams. Showgirls. American Beauty. Unforgiven. There’s something for everyone here. And this is mainstream stuff. A male nerd audience should be able to appreciate such content, if done well.
Or whatever. Have we done Star Trek IV yet? Let’s do Star Trek IV.