https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsBgfc53NrY
I’m all for it. The video game shit obviously wasn’t working out. So maybe roller skating is where it’s at.
She hasn’t uploaded a video about video games in over a month. And the only two videos she has uploaded since then have been of her roller skating. There’s the video above and there’s this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1saRpLmwwwU
She also has A LOT of tweets about it. Like this one:
https://twitter.com/RetroUnderrated/status/1405697980750045190
It seems that she’s new to the hobby. She writes stuff like “my second time skating outside” and that tweet that I linked to says something about tracking her progress.
How old is this woman? I’ll say about 30. Well, it’s now or never, I guess. If you want to go skating, do it while you still can.
But it does beg the question, “Why now?” Why wasn’t she doing this as a child, like normal children do?
Even I went skating and I didn’t do much. And I’m a guy. Roller skating was much more popular with girls.
Also, what she’s doing is rollerblading but she always says “roller skating”. Do people no longer make the distinction between roller skates and rollerblades because rollerblades have completely taken over? I’ve only used roller skates. And only like once or twice. It was some fucking Cub Scouts shit. Instead of learning about wilderness training, we went to a roller rink.
I was able to do it without any difficulty. So I must have had some previous experience but I can’t remember any.
We had these really scary metal skates that I think you were supposed to attach to your shoes. But I sometimes played with them a bit and just put them on my feet. They were adjustable and really dangerous. I’m surprised that I never sliced my feet open with those things.
Fucking Cub Scouts. What a waste of time. You’re supposed to learn wilderness survival and how to tie knots and whatever. I never did any of that shit. I didn’t go camping even one time and I never learned how to tie a single knot. And I did this shit for like three years.
The closest I came to camping was a ten mile hike at the beach. In broad daylight. What’s the point of this? It was just tiring. I didn’t learn a god damned thing.
We also took a trip to Pizza Hut. Learned how pizzas were made. It’s just so low effort.
What were these people spending our dues on? Every month, we had to give ten bucks or something.
It was mostly shitty arts and crafts. Pretzel wreath and whatnot. How is that possibly going to help me if I find myself stranded in the wilderness?
And then there’s the fucking Pinewood Derby shit. Everybody knows about the cars. I never got to make a car. It wasn’t my year. So instead, I got to make a boat and an airplane. Not that I did. I couldn’t do that shit. Come on. How many eight year olds have competent carpentry skills?
So it was just somebody in my family who did all of that shit, like always. This is the case for everybody.
And the boat is so fucking stupid.
Let’s first analyse the car. The idea is that you want to make the car aerodynamic and the wheels should be as friction free as possible. The cars just roll down an incline.
But with the boat, you have to fucking stand behind it and blow on it like a moron. It’s not a contest on who has the best designed boat, it’s a contest of who has the most powerful lungs. It’s complete fucking bullshit.
The airplane is only slightly less stupid. It’s some weird contraption involving a rubber band-powered propeller. And you put the planes on a fishing line and they just all take off at once. I don’t really understand the physics behind it.
But it’s rigged. There was clearly a fast fishing line in my contest. It was greased or something. Any plane that had that fishing line won. I got it once so I won that round but then somebody else got it in the next round so I lost.
And that’s another thing. You spend all of this fucking time watching somebody else build your little wooden vehicle. It goes on for weeks, maybe even months. Then it’s time for the big contest. There’s fucking 100 Cub Scouts from all over the state, you’re in one fucking race, and when you lose, that’s it. Single elimination tournament. You just wasted your fucking time.
What about having a smaller group and running a Swiss system tournament? Like how they have in chess. So you have more opportunities to compete.
You’d also get a better indication of just how well or poorly your vehicle or your lungs performed. With a single elimination tournament, you might have had the second best vehicle in the contest but because you were eliminated in the first round by the guy who won the whole thing, you’ll never know.
With a Swiss tournament, assuming that they did a sufficient number of rounds, you’d know exactly where you placed relative to everybody else.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to more great roller skating “content” from Ms McKenna. What else? Maybe she could build a little clubhouse in her backyard. That would be a neat project. Maybe she could get a dirt bike and set up like an obstacle course. Maybe she could do a tutorial on how to make jewellery out of plastic beads. There’s a lot that she can do. And as long as she’s done with these unbelievably bad videos about video games, she has my full support.