Oh yes. The old “variety” stream. Erin really loves her “variety” for the past…at least two years. It affords her the built-in “I’ve never played this before” excuse.
0:00 – It stars with the video looking normal but then Erin quickly changes it so we get the fucking tv screen border that fucks everything up. All to be “cute”.
“I was out of town for a bit so sorry for no streams.”
“Out of town” is her euphamism for visiting her parents. Why can’t she just say “I was visiting my parents”? Everything has to be bizarre obfuscation with her.
Then there’s an edit. Who knows or cares what she didn’t want us to see?
0:15 – “We’re going to start with Palamedes. I think Palamedes is another game that I hate…the artwork for…if I remember correctly.”
She’s a real “gamer”, guys. Doesn’t know any of the games. Her knowledge comes 100% from streaming these games, briefly, during “variety streams.”
And Mike is playing the game, by the way. Erin could not fucking care less. It’s her stream but Mike is playing the games.
1:45 – Mike is talking about an art teacher that he had and the weird stuff that he said and Erin, as usual, is on another planet. She has no idea what he’s talking about but she awkwardly pretends to.
2:00 – Then, from out of nowhere, Erin gives her high school art story. Hold on to your seats. It’s some riveting stuff. “My high school art teacher, she would just give us an assignment and it was very loose? And then she’d just let us do whatever we wanted? And it was good times? And then we’d talk about Conan O’Brien?”
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. IT GOES NOWHERE. AND SHE USES THAT ANNOYING CALIFORNIA INFLECTION WHERE EVERYTHING IS A QUESTION.
Mike told a semi-interesting story about some weird shit that an art teacher did. The teacher would tell them to “use each colour more than once” to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb. I’m not entirely sure what it means but it’s an example of some weird shit that a teacher did.
Erin told a story about NOTHING that went NOWHERE.
2:15 – “She’s be like, ‘Oh, did you see so and so on Conan?’ Because she knew what music I liked. And I’d be like, ‘Yeah.’ And she’d be like, ‘Oh, that was good’. And that was about it and she gave me an A.”
IT GOES NOWHERE! What a fucking terrible story-teller. She can’t even give an example of one of the performers. Because this is all made up. Erin’s teachers were not talking to her. Who would? Who would talk to this complete charisma blackhole? Even in her made up story, all that she contributed to the conversation was “Yeah”. I think more likely, Erin would have said, “That’s cool”.
Is a teacher going to go out of their way to engage with a dullard like this?
Teacher: So, I heard you like music.
Erin: Yeah.
Teacher: Did you see Conan O’Brien last night? Weezer on there.
Erin: That’s cool.
Teacher: Umm…yeah. So…here’s your “loose” assignment.
Fuck off. That didn’t happen. And if it did, what a terrible, awful, boring job that poor woman must have had. Trying to drag a conversation out of this idiot.
3:00 – Erin is playing now. Worst Palamedes gameplay ever recorded.
3:15 –
Erin: You know that portrait that I made of Jack White that my mom has framed in our house?
Mike: (totally disinterested) Uh huh.
Erin: People used to laugh in high school when they’d come over. They’d go, “Yeah, I like Erin’s house because there’s a framed photo of Jack White in her family’s living room.”
THAT’S THE STORY! IT GOES NOWHERE!
This is fucking unbelievable. How does Mike do it? It’s like she got a fucking lobotomy.
I’ll tell you what this is like. This is like talking to James “Seven and a Half Years in Special Education” Rolfe. So Mike has the experience. He has experience dealing with retards. So to him, this is just another day at the office. His life is dealing with retards. He’s made a living out of doing it.
Erin drew a picture of Jack White in high school. Her friends enjoyed going to Erin’s house because of this picture.
Tell me that any of this rings at all true. “Boy, we all love going to Erin’s house because of that picture that she drew.” It’s insanity. This is retard talk.
3:30 – “My mom’s like, ‘I just like the colours. You did a good job.'”
The apple doesn’t fall far from the retarded tree. It seems that Erin’s mother is also a colour-obsessed, mentally-challenged imbecile. And again, the story goes NOWHERE.
How long is this video? THREE HOURS? I’m only three minutes in. Okay, I can’t keep commenting on every braindead thing that Erin says or we’ll never get through this.
“I should put that on Instagram and see if he’ll like it.”
Only if you include that absolutely fascinating story, Erin.
“Now I’m in that era of trying to get attention from celebrities I like on Instagram.”
And how is that going for you, Erin? Any interesting stories to share? OF COURSE NOT!
4:30 – Mike tells a story, obviously joking, about crying for nine months when Rue McClanahan. Erin clearly has NO IDEA who this is. She gives weird, generic questions like “When did that happen?” And then she awkwardly says, “Wow. I’m sorry that that happened.”
This is fucking horrible. She’s a moron. She has no idea what’s going on. She’s retarded. Go get her tested, Mike. This is not normal.
7:00 – “Want to hear something fucked up about my thoughts on Burger Time?”
No, Erin. I don’t give the slightest of fucks. Nor does Mike. He gave an exasperated response. He knows it’s not going to be funny. He knows it’s not going to make sense.
“I used to think that the NES port of Burger Time was worse than the Intellivision port.”
NOBODY CARES! THE STORY GOES NOWHERE!
7:45 –
Erin: For the home port, I guess this the best one out there?
Mike: For the home port?
Erin: I mean, I guess. What other ones are there?
Erin…if you don’t know what other ports there are, how could you possibly proffer an opinion on which one is best? Think. Before. You. Say. Every. Word. Don’t just try to lie your way through everything because it NEVER works. You’re an idiot. It takes some degree of intelligence to lie convincingly. You don’t have any intelligence.
8:30 –
Erin: Do you think McDonalds got their inspiration for the Big Mac from this? Because doesn’t it look like one?
Mike (blank stare, can’t believe the depths of this woman’s stupidty)
Erin: Which came first? I don’t know.
I’m going to say that the Big Mac was created in 1975. And Burger Time…1983.
Let’s look it up.
Big Mac: 1967
Burger Time: 1982
I’m going to try to get to 10 minutes and then turn this off.
9:15 – Then a horntard says that the Big Mac was from 1975. That was my guess as well. Is Wikipedia wrong?
I don’t think so. I’m not seeing 1975 anywhere.
9:45 – Mike asks Erin what she wants to play. Erin says Rampart. This is because a few minutes earlier, Mike suggested that they play Rampart.
She doesn’t have a single original thought in her empty head. She knows nothing about video games. She’s completely incapable of having a conversation. She’s awkward. She’s boring. She’s retarded. I’m done with this shit.
- “Been following both of you and James forever. Mike and I have the same demented brain/take on things. Just wanted to say I LOVE scatterbrained Erin! šThe energy of this stream was great. One of you and Mikeās best streams imo.”
Here’s a guy who thinks it’s “cute” that Erin is dumb as a box of hammers and couldn’t have a conversation to save her life.
- “Guys. Why the flip are you not playing 2 player games? With each other. At the same time. Using two controllers.”
Here’s a guy asking the obvious questions. Because it would expose Erin as being unbelievably shit at video games. Not that single player games don’t also do that, but putting her head to head against somebody does know something about video games would really drive the point home.
Erin is dumb as a box of hammers.
Posts about Erin are always the best. Why does Mike put up with it? Is she really that great in bed?
I do remember a video clip where she says that something ātastes like cumā, so maybe she is good with the mouth.
Sheās ought to have some redeemable qualities.
Sex is the only possible explanation as to why she’s still there.