Gamer Girls

I’ve basically eliminated Tony from my rotation of people who I talk about. But I was watching this recently for “fun”. I used to listen to the Godzilla podcast that he has. He rebooted it a few months ago into a “live” format, which is disasterous.

This shit is unwatchable. I know that I say this regularly but Johanna is completely insufferable. She has no charisma at all and when she does say something, it’s annoying as fuck. Let me just try to get through a few minutes of this to illustrate my point.

Oh, this is 90 minutes, by the way. I want to see the statistics of how many people, if any, watch the entire video.

0:30 – Before it even begins, Tony begs the chat for “super chats”. This is where you give money in order to have your question read. And it’s not even guaranteed that it will be read. I remember somebody having a “super chat” about Newt and they weren’t even going to acknowledge it and then when they did, they just told the guy to fuck off and go to Newt’s channel. This guy who just gave them money.

1:00- Johanna is wearing headphones that have cat ears on them. Annoying.

2:00 – Some lunatic just gave Tony $20. For what? He’s advertising his shit “merch” store now.

3:45 – They were talking about some lesbian scene in some Godzilla movie. Johanna starts her bullshit, “As you know, I hate the gays. If I was gay, I would just kill myself.”

She’s pretending to be gay again. You know, this woman who’s engaged to be married to a man.

This is sexy, right? Women who pretend to be gay? Horseface certainly shares this opinion.

Let’s look at an actual gay woman: Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. Has she once said that she’s gay? No. She doesn’t advertise. She doesn’t have to. It’s blindingly obvious that she’s gay. She’s doing her thing and doesn’t give a shit what people on Youtube know about her private life. It’s irrelevant.

Real homosexual just go about their lives. Fake homosexuals have to constantly remind you that they’re gay.

4:00 – Tony puts a picture of the women up on screen who had a kissing scene or something. Tony says, “Who would want to watch these women making out?” Johanna, with her usual energy vampirism, says, “I sure wouldn’t. They’re not attractive at all.”

What does it even matter what they look like? I understand Tony focusing on their appearance because he’s approaching it as a heterosexual man who fetishises lesbians and just wants to view it as pornography. But would an actual lesbian take that same sexist, meatheaded view? I don’t think so.

5:00 – “Tony, you have to get rid of this picture. I’m just staring.”

It’s a picture of these two women. Get it? Because Johanna is so fucking horny right now. She’s horny for these ladies.

The point I’m making here is a subtle one and I don’t really know how to describe it. But I’m suggesting that lesbians view sexuality differently than heterosexual men. Because they’re women. Women don’t suddenly start thinking like men just because they’re gay. They’re still women.

So a heterosexual man might look at a picture of sexy lady and think, “Oh, yeah. I’d like to do all kinds of sexual stuff to that woman.” And they might even voice that opinion.

But would a woman think that? Even a homosexual woman? I don’t think so. I don’t think that women immediately start thinking about fucking. I think that they’re more nuanced than that.

I think that a lesbian looking at a picture of a sexy lady would think, “Oh, I like the outfit. I like the makeup. She’s obviously put some work into this. Maybe I can use some of this for updating my own wardrobe and makeup regime.”

A lesbian is not looking at a sexy lady and saying, “Oh, yeah. I’d love to put a strap on dildo on and really fuck that bitch up the ass.” Am I wrong?

But Johanna is so far removed from lesbianism that she thinks that it’s just co-opting how heterosexual men behave with women. “Oh, I’m getting really horny looking at this picture of two completely clothed ladies.” Really? Are you? You’re an adolescent boy? Is that how lesbians think?

Look at gay men. Does a gay man behave like a woman? Is a gay man quiet and demure and submissive? No. They’re just as aggressive and obnoxious as heterosexual men, if not moreso, but they’re fucking dudes instead of women.

7:00 – Johanna says that she’s married so can’t always see movies with Tony. So…she’s married, to a man, and…yet she’s gay. Isn’t there something in the marriage vows about forsaking all others? Including sexy ladies, presumably.

Why get married to a man if you’re a lesbian? Isn’t this just common sense? She’s not doing this as part of some visa scam or to help her movie career or anything. Try to squash rumours that she’s gay. It seems to be a legitimate marriage. So…why? If you like women, why marry a man?

Especially when you like women as much as Johanna apparently does. She can’t even look at a non-pornographic photo of two not particularly attractive women without becoming a raging sex maniac.

It’s completely fucking retarded.

8:15 – Some Youtuber nobody has heard of called Adam Olinger is brought in.

9:15 – Tony shills for the “super chats” again, despite the fact that he hasn’t read any of the “super chats” so far.

You know what? I’m done. This is shit. It’s totally unwatchable. Newt sitting on his sofa with prostitutes and drug addicts and losers off the street is more entertaining than this shit. I don’t want to watch the totally charisma-free Johanna pretending to be a lesbian while Tony shills for “super chats”. That’s not interesting to me. It’s not interesting to anyone.