Oh, we’re graced with a new zero effort video by old Erin Plays. Another one in her series of sleep-enducing videos where she reads you what the top ten Blockbuster video game rentals were for a particular year. Let me save you the effort, Erin. I’ll look it up.
Maybe Wikipedia got rid of this. Because I’m not seeing it here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1993_in_video_games#Top_rentals_according_to_Blockbuster_Video
It definitely used to be there because I’ve talked about this in previous years that Erin did.
It’s no longer noteworthy for Wikipedia. Or maybe it was never there because she did skip that year. Well, let’s find out what they were. I’m dying to know.
0:00 – “It’s Friday night in 1993 and you just picked up a Big Foot pizza from Pizza Hut.”
Well, no. I didn’t. I was in high school. And you were five years old so you certainly didn’t.
Plus, there weren’t any Pizza Huts in my area. This Big Foot pizza was a response to Little Caesar’s pizzas which were sold in pairs and came in a long package. I remember having to walk…15 minutes to pick them up with my mother. How embarassing walking through town with this long package of pizza. She didn’t drive.
I remember the Meat Lover’s pizza from Little Caesar’s. Now, I think that this is a normal name. Pizza Hut has a Meat Lover’s pizza, for example. But at the time, I guess it was novel.
So my mother told my sister to order a Meat Lover’s pizza from Little Caesar’s. My sister refused to do it. There was much laughter and my sister awkwardly explained her objection: nobody “loves” meat. I didn’t get it and she didn’t expressly say it but it was a double entendre. She didn’t want to have to call these people and say that she loves meat.
My mother made her do it, as my mother was wont to do, ignoring people’s personal autonomy. So my sister calls and she’s nervously laughing throughout the call. The woman she’s talking to says, “They’re sold out” and ends the call.
My sister explains to my mother what happened and my mother can’t understand. “They’re sold out? How can they be sold out?” My sister must have known that it didn’t make sense but she didn’t want to call back. So my mother called and it was no problem. She ordered the pizza.
The person from Little Caesar’s must have thought that it was a prank call because my sister was laughing throughout.
0:15 – Rock n Roll Racing. Who cares?
She’s just reading from this magazine that has the list and also Wikipedia. And there’s no way that it’s Erin playing these games because the gameplay is decent. It’s Mike playing this. All she’s doing is reading.
1:45 – Extended colour talk. Always riveting.
2:30 – Footage of news reports about Mortal Kombat. And, oddly, she credits the Youtube channels where she gets this footage. It’s from ABC News. They’re the ones who should get credit.
Wait a minute. She’s only giving FIVE of the top games? Didn’t she do the full top ten in previous videos? Let me check.
I’m not sure. She did eight in one video, seven in another, and only five in her last video, which was 1995. Those videos were all from 2021, by the way.
3:30 – Super Mario All-Stars. The one game that Erin owned as a child. Apparently. I’m not even sure if she owned this one.
5:00 – Alien v Predator. Is this almost over? Another two and a half minutes. Well, at least she knows not to overstay her welcome with this tedious shit.
6:00 – World Heroes.
7:15 – “Do you remember renting any games that year and, if so, were any from this list?”
How about you fuck off, Erin? My video game rentals in 1993 are my own business.
Absolute shit video. As one expects from Erin. She’s incapable of producing anything worth watching.
There are 159 comments for this dogshit. I see.
- “My local Blockbuster became half Dentist and half FroYo after closing. And the Pizza Hut from back in the day became a Dentist also. :(“
What’s this guy’s beef with dentists?
- “Cool idea for a video. Hope this format continues.”
Erin replies saying that it’s part of a series and links to a playlist of other videos in this “series”.
How is it possible that Erin is at all proud of these videos? She must know that they’re awful. I know that everybody in the comments says that they’re great but…can she really believe that? It’s dogshit. She has no charisma and knows nothing about video games. How can she ever expect to create a good video about video games?
- “0:00 Erinplaysgames, I did that EXACT thing with my family in 1993. Bigfoot pizza, blockbuster games, and Jurassic Park on VHS. 🎉 BUT your LOGIC IS FLAWED AND ATTROCIOUS!!! Why would you pick up the pizza FIRST???? IT WOULD GET COLD WHILE AT BLOCKBUSTER!!! Please revoice, re-edit, and reupload the video without this BLUNDER!!!”
That was a comment from Justin Silverman. This guy’s a real comedian. Joe from Gamesack is reading this comment and saying, “Hey, wait a minute, Justin. I’m the beta orbiter comedian here. Get in line, you fat fuck.”
But Erin replies, “I didn’t realize I’d cause such a stir with accidentally implying you pick up the pizza first. Contemplating deleting my channel tbh.”
Oh, she is just so witty. The jokes come fast and quick with Erin here.
- “I could have sworn that the Bigfoot pizza was Little Caesars. Lol”
No. I’ve explained this. It was a rip off of Little Caesar’s. Little Caesar’s was making great inroads into the chain pizzaria market in the 1990s.
Let’s check out her Twitter.
In the comments, Erin says, “I rented a lot of bad games too :p”.
Uh huh. Like what, Erin? In 1993 you were five, so presumably you weren’t renting games then. But when were you renting video games? What were the games? Tell us. Give us the details. Were there even places renting games in 2000 or so, when you would have been old enough to do this? And this all assumes that you played video games as a child, which you didn’t.
Oh, happy birthday to Erin Plays aka ErinPlays87 aka Cykill1986. She’s 36. Or 37, depending on which screen name you choose to believe.
Thirty-six years old. Teenage Erin would have been…HAPPY with how she turned out? Teenage Erin must have had tragically low expectations for her life. “I hope that I’m getting fucked in the ass by a man I don’t love for $6,000/year.”
She’s wasted her life. Completely. And she’s continuing the lie that she played video games as a kid. Why? Nobody cares.
Oh, Justin Silverman makes a joke about ice cream cakes. Joe from Gamesack must be seething.
Horny Goriya also leaves a birthday message. She’s another beta orbiter.
Retail Archaelogy leaves a message. He’s another one.
Oh, Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen leaves a message. How interesting.
- “I’m 42 homie. My tastes have stayed the same. But evolved as those interests led me down the rabbit hole. And helped me find other weirdos like myself”
It’s all about himself. Keep being that narcissistic son of a bitch who we all know and love, Newt. This is why you’re single, though.
ShiShi leaves a message. Great.
Wow. Nothing from Joe from Gamesack. He really dropped the ball on this one.
She’s a big The Voidz fan. What the fuck. Do I even care to look this up? Let’s do it quickly.
Well, they’re relatively contemporary. That’s surprising. From the past ten years.
Mike must hate going to this shit. Plus paying for everything. But this is the price you pay for unlimited butt sex with this…”sexy” and…”witty” 36 year old woman.
Oh baby. She’s not working at Little Caesar’s any more. She recently got a job at a different fast food place. But…well, she does a variety of videos. She actually seems pretty funny and has some charisma. And…she does…contortion videos. This…top heavy young lady. Yeah, I think she’s earned a subscriber.
I heard Pizza Hut is dying. The Pizza Hut at my local Target doesn’t have a counter with a person behind it anymore. They just have pizza you can take with no one around.
I heard that they’re no longer dine-in restaurants but not even having somebody behind the counter is another level of sad.
I must say, your “sour puss” presentation of most of this material is actually pretty amusing. I do get a kick out of it but I just can’t help but feel as if there is a genuine animosity driving it all. I have always heard that most real comedy comes from a place of trauma, pain and abuse, but the difference is that those people intend on, and enjoy drawing laughs. I don’t want to be the douche laughing at stuff that is genuinely distressing you but you must know that with a very minor pivot, you could be a very funny guy. People can sense the legitimate frustration and it is very funny as long as you are smiling along with us. Most normal people don’t derive pleasure out of someone in pain. All this is to say, I think you are a funny guy and could potentially be a really funny guy if that’s what you wanted. I just never get an honest read on you because I feel like things are so layered in nuance and concealed. This was a good read though. The raw emotion works for you. I hope this is constructive criticism for you dude.
1. This is a comedy blog. The intention is comedy.
2. The humour can be enjoyed on many levels because I’m a comedy genius. No, that’s not quite true. I’m a genius who writes comedy blogs.
3. You’re a complete fucking weirdo but you’re allowed to post here. I don’t want to have to ban you like I did on Reddit when you defended that lunatic GarbageStabber who has sent me thousands of death and rape threats. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, shut the fuck up and investigate it before you voice your ill-informed opinions.
I was not and did not defend anyone and I don’t feel like you are exactly qualified to call anyone a weirdo my guy but whatever. I’m a big boy and if you see fit to ban me for saying silly shit that irritates you, so be it. That is, after all why once creates spaces such as blogs and subreddits where they have administrative privileges. Every time I try to give you the benefit of the doubt and attempt to communicate with a real human, you once again show me exactly how deranged you truly are. As for threats of bodily harm and psycho shit like that, I wholeheartedly condemn anything of the sort and whoever “garbagestabber” is, should knock that shit off. It does seem that you yourself are above such behavior and it is terribly off-putting that anyone could be so rattled by anything you say such as to resort to such things. I just, for the life of me, cannot understand how you always come back at me with hate when I only try to be nice to you. I am beginning to think I may have something wrong with me as well because I continue to communicate with someone who is unappreciated, hateful and abrasive when it’s completely unwarranted. I am not taking a jab at you when I say that I seriously suspect that you may be undiagnosed and on the spectrum. My niece is a very highly functioning autist such as yourself and the similarities are shocking. I suspect you always struggle with interpersonal relationships where any type of emotion gets involved. I suspect this may be the source of a great deal of your hateful nature, frustration from being unable to connect with others on any intimate level. It also explains why your views on topics that you review are so superficial and cursory. I think emotions are essentially Greek to you (assuming you don’t speak Greek). I have this unwavering faith in human nature and I keep trying to find some shred of humanity in your interactions with others but I am coming up snake eyes time after time and it has to be the result of your condition. I suspect much of this will piss you off and you may retaliate by banning me or whatever, which is fine as long as I know I tried my best to hold a mirror up for you and give you a shred of insight into yourself.
If you were such an understanding guy, you wouldn’t say, “Hey, you’re autist.” Instead, you would just say to yourself, “This guy is an autist. He obviously has problems. So I’ll let it go”.
Instead, you say, “Hey, you should do this. You should do that. You’d be funnier if you did this. People would like you more if you did that. You’d get all the bitches if you behaved like this. Hey, do you like me? How was your weekend? Doing anything cool tomorrow?”
Dude. Mind your own fucking business. I have my own thing going here. And I don’t need your free personality assessments.