Oh, Super Awkward Gal is back. Or at least she was, two months ago. I should probably subscribe to these people so that I know when they upload a new video. I’m not subscribed to anyone who I talk about. I don’t want their bullshit videos cluttering up my feed.
0:00 – She starts with her usual unbelievably awkward self. The camera is like two inches from her face. She’s wearing some…I don’t even know…headwrap. And she’s taking fettuccine alfredo from her refrigerator. You guys all like fettuccine alfredo right?
No, Super Awkward Gal. I don’t even know what the fuck it is. I know it’s pasta but beyond that, I don’t know. I’ve never said the words “fettuccine alfredo” in my life.
According to a quick DuckDuckGo-ing, it’s an American dish. Nothing to do with Italy. They’re not eating that shit in Italy.
She goes on to say that this fettuccine alfredo is two days old. Like she’s living on the edge here. Two days old? I think it’s still safe to eat after two days.
0:15 – Then she shows the fettuccine alfredo. The grand reveal. There’s like five noodles left. Most people would just throw this out. Not Super Awkward Gal.
I don’t know if she has an eating disorder or what but this is not normal behaviour. This is not something that people would eat as a meal. Five noodles?
1:30 – She’s going to start showing the Halloween “shenanigans” that she purchased.
“Wait a minute. Isn’t ‘shenanigans like…’mischief’?”
Yes. It is. But this fucking doofus is using it to describe items that she purchased.
So anyway, she’s going to show the items and her tits. Mostly her tits. She even repositioned herself because her tits weren’t showing enough in the first shot.
“I love Halloween. It’s the freaking best. That’s how I feel right now. I love Halloween.”
GET ON WITH IT! And I left out a whole bunch of other pointless waffling about how “capitalism” came back or some awkward, nonsensical bullshit.
“I’m in a mourning period of my life and sometimes you just overdo it on the holidays.”
What is she mourning? She killed “Pops” like last year.
2:15 – She claims that she doesn’t get trick or treaters because she lives in an area that’s “not so great.”
She was really eager to kill “Pops” and take this guy’s house. I think that she even mentioned how much the house was worth. It was a lot. But they live in a ghetto. Okay. If you say so.
Pomona. She says that she lives in Pomona. Let’s see what city-data.com has to say.
Well, the income and average price house are lower than California’s average. And 74.3% Hispanic. Well, we can probably stop here. She wasn’t lying. 7.7% white.
Higher crime rate than the US average.
Higher unemployent than California’s average.
2:45 – She bought a candy corn…decoration.
“Sound off in the comments. Do you like candy corn?”
Well, I guess. I’ve only had them at Halloween. Cheap houses would throw a few in your bag. Just loose. So you get the feeling that these are shitty candies but I liked them.
The pumpkin-shaped ones are better.
3:30 – She said that she bought a lot of “Chochsky” items. And she said this THREE TIMES. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE SAYING?
Then she shows a cat statue dressed as a mummy. That’s “Chochsky”, I guess. What is she saying? Chachi? Tchaikovsky? We’re just supposed to know.
“Oh, you guys all know what Chocsky is, right?”
“Fucking Scott Baio’s character on Happy Days? Yes, I guess. What does that have to do with a cat statue?”
4:45 – Now she’s showing a candy corn bowl.
She keeps claiming that everything is “stinking cute”. Oh my god is this fucking annoying. The fucking bowlderising bullshit from this cretin. “Hecking darn, look at my funbags while I make awkward commentary.” No thanks, Super Awkward Gal. I’m only doing this under duress. There is no fucking way that I would watch this video if I didn’t have this blog.
5:15 – Now she’s showing mugs, in a box, that are the same design as that candy corn bowl. And when she was showing that bowl, she kept talking about how much she likes 1950s and 1960s Halloween shit. So I thought, “Oh, she must have gone to an antiques shop too.”
No. That bowl that she bought was new. She got it from Marshall Fields or somewhere. So why the fuck was she going on about her fondness for 1950s and 1960s Halloween shit? Just more awkward bullshit from her.
And these mugs are ENORMOUS. You would clearly need two hands to drink from this. This is an example of why America is full of giant fucking fatasses. They’re drinking from mugs that require two hands.
I went looking for a suit in the US. I went all over town. Every suit shop. And I said I need a suit. I’ll take anything. They measured me and they said, “No, we don’t have anything in your size.”
I went to three shops. Three shops that sold nothing but suits. They had hundreds of them. Thousands. Didn’t sell suits in my size.
I’m not some sort of a freak. I was just slim. No suits in my size.
I finally found a place that had a suit. One suit. It was olive green. Oh fuck. I have to go with it. And they had to take it in considerably.
So then I come to the UK. And I get a job that requires a suit. And I’m thinking, “Oh fuck. I’m going to have something made because they don’t make suits in my size. This is going to cost a fortune.”
No. They sell them. No problem. You walk in, get something off the rack, boom. You’re done. Fits perfectly. No alterations needed.
And they sell suits in smaller sizes. It’s not a problem.
But because there are so many giant fatasses in the US, they don’t even sell suits to cater to slim men. There are so few slim men that the market doesn’t exist.
And I was buying that suit 20 years ago. How much worse has the obesity problem in the US gotten? They’re probably turning away Tony from Hack the Movies nowadays. “Sorry, you’re just too slim. All we have is this olive green suit.”
6:00 – She’s talking about how she didn’t decorate for Halloween last year, “Because I was severely depressed. I lost not only Pops but also my dog.”
Vile. She equates Pops dying to her DOG dying. And by the way, she killed “Pops”. I don’t know if she killed the dog or not.
There was some story that I heard that members of the SS were given dogs and then at the end of their training, they were required to kill the dogs. But could this possibly be true? It just sounds like cartoonish super-villainy. Why would they do that? What’s gained from that? Let me look this up.
Everybody on the internet seems to confirm that the story is bullshit.
6:00 – “So this year I’m decorating whether my mental health likes it or not. So suck it, mental health.”
Fuck off. And stop killing elderly relatives of your husband.
6:15 – A snake candleholder.
She says the word “sliterthing” five times. As in “I’m a slithering.” What the fuck is she talking about? Again, we’re just supposed to know. We’re supposed to know what this made up bullshit that only makes sense to her means.
7:30 – She starts tearing up about some Harry Potter play that she saw at Disneyland. Or something. What the fuck is going on?
8:00 – “Dragon skeleton head”. Or “skull” as the rest of the English-speaking world would say.
8:45 – She’s still talking about “slithering”. It’s something to do with Harry Potter, I guess? I’m spelling it wrong, I think. She put some weird graphics up about a slithering dating site? I mean…what in the fuck is any of this? SHUT UP. STOP THE VIDEO. GO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.
By the way, somebody, mentioning no names, has apparently taken control of Super Pixel Girl’s old LinkTree. You know how Super Pixel Girl will regularly create new names to try to stay ahead of her invisible enemies? Well, it turns out that when you delete your LinkTree, that name becomes available for anyone to register.
So some unknown person has taken the liberty of registering Super Pixel Girl’s old LinkTree. As here:
That’s weird enough. But then this mystery person decided to link the blog on that LinkTree. There are a lot of nuts out there.
8:45 – Martha Stewart double-ended dildo. Well, it’s the first interesting item, I guess.
Oh. They’re…what? Some kind of bone-shaped candle? Maybe? She doesn’t fucking explain anything, of course. She just says that they’re “so stinking cute”. Yeah. We get that. We get that part. Everything is “stinking cute”. But what the fuck is any of this? That’s the part that needs clarification.
9:15 – A can of something. She doesn’t say what any of this fucking shit is. I had to pause the video. It’s some novelty can of beer, I guess. I don’t know. Is this real? Nobody fucking knows.
9:30 – Now she’s showing a ghost plant.
Now a pumpking with a cat. I mean…this is the world’s worst video. It screams mental illness. All of this does.
“I’m not a pastel-y person.”
Fuck off. I’m done with this shit. When the “sticking cute” colour talk starts, that’s my limit.
So that’s the video. It was…shit. She shows some cheap, useless tat that she bought. And this is somebody who’s really concerned about the environment. All of this shit will be in a landfill within 12 months. And it won’t biograde for 10,000 years.
As I said before and will say till the end, there’s a downward spiral with being fat and dressing like shit that doesn’t end well. I say it started with the removal of school uniforms. I know I sound like a Bible beater but that removed a lot of pride and just awareness in one’s appearance. Jeans were and are meant for doing physical labor outside. That is exactly why they were invented. But if you had to cram yourself in a suit, you’d notice quickly if you were gaining weight. And by the time you reach 18 you’d know how to properly dress. Now people get fat and they just wear a bigger size. They don’t even wear jeans. Just move into basketball shorts. This is like freaking pajamas. I wouldn’t go outside like that if I was trying to escape a burning building! I’m an expat like you and once I went back for like a wedding or something. My mom offered to help get a suit so I could just show up. What size? 36. “No!! That’s impossible” she didn’t believe me. She thought I was saying the pants size. Not the jacket size. A 36 had to be special made. I just wore my dad’s blazer from 30 years ago. It was size 40. Not bad, not a fat size really. It was like a David Byrne suit. It looked awful but a size 40 suit was all I could get and it was from the 80s. Talk about nostalgia.
You showed that celebrity bowling with the Brady bunch and I loved their clothes. Greg Brady had these brown corduroys with a huge belt and striped shirt tucked in. He probably weighed 140 pounds, 10 of it from his 70s perm, and this was normal weight. Now they’d say he has an eating disorder and get him on an IV. But I dress exactly like that. I love wearing button shirts and I love tucking them in! It shows I’m not a fat slovenly piece of shit in some heavy metal Tshirt or a XXL football jersey. Actually when I turned 30 I threw out every T-shirt and only wear black ones now and only inside. Much like you I’m in shock every time I go there. Even people who I know who take care of themselves are still heavier than before. Like 20 pounds. And it’s not from age. It’s not a beer gut or what have you. I don’t know what the deal is. Huge food and no exercise and no shame
But for slobs rather than lose weight, they will just buy bigger clothes. Can you imagine in 20 years (I’m being generous) when John Riggs keels over and they bury him in a T-shirt with his YouTube. Handel icon on it, all the lanyards from his gaming expos and. Pair of pizza stained shorts. While all his youtuber buddies show up, to a funeral mind you, in tshirts, shorts and Nikes. His daughters who think their boys or whatever will probably do the same.
Do you know the suit situation in Japan? I’d imagine that there would be the opposite problem. All of their suits would be smaller and more efficient.
I went out with a Korean woman and she said she liked shopping in the UK because she’s a “small” but in Korea she’s a “medium”. She was just a normal sized Asian person but that would be small by Western standards.
I’ve actually been in Japan looking for a suit and yes, it’s exactly as you mentioned. I had to pick the largest size, just because of my height.
Same as Baron. Normal sizes. They do alterations, like a professional shop should. They have big and tall shops. No idea who uses them. Japan is like the US in the 40s-50s. It’s not a society that is about to slide off the edge. And if you work IT or for the embassy or something else international and get paid in US$ it’s nice life. If you’re like Kid Shoryuken and all the other loser YouTubers in Japan (gamer or not) and “teach” English, your life will be shit!
So, I am 42 years old. I sometimes think that I am not really “adulting”. I mean, my parents had me when they were 21, and from my first memory, they have always looked “adulty”. I am talking about me being 6-7 years old. They looked as adults as my teachers, grandparents, people you see on TV, etc. You get the idea. And for as long as I remember, my parents have always done adult things: pay bills, go to work, talk about adult shit.
I mention all this because I am currently twice as old as they were when they had me. Yet I don’t feel that “adult”. I don’t have kids, I date many women, travel, and spend my money on wine, restaurants, and other useless shit. I have all the PlayStations, Nintendo, and so on. I never play, by the way. I just bought them because when I was a child, that is what I always wanted to do: buy video games.
So, I sometimes feel that I am not being as adult as I am supposed to be, and I get the sense that this feeling is shared by many people. It can quickly turn into guilt. But then, I watch videos from these retro-retards, and I suddenly feel like the most mature adult man alive. Maybe I do have my shit together. At least I am not making content out of loneliness or exchanging YouTube views for cleavage shots. Special shoutout to Fatso Rigs begging for Nintendo DS street-pass contacts.
See? There are good things, too.
Yeah, I suppose the man babies and woman babies could make you feel better about your own life. At least I’m not sitting in a closet talking about the colours in some random NES game starting with the letter “L”.
You have to think of a few things especially how times have changed. What was the spectrum of entertainment 40 years ok? Books tv movies radio. I’m sure there were lots of guys with record collections. The best comparison to a man child today is anyone into model trains. Which I support! You want to turn an adult into a kid fast, give him that.
Back then people just got married. It was the only way to have sex. I know people fucked around but women were smart enough to give it up in exchange for a ring. Unlike now. And guys didn’t have hardcore porn to beat off to 24/7. Kill the internet connection and you’ll start seeing a lot of guys go outside to try and get a piece!
But I remember when I saw the adult facade slip off when I was young. I guess I was an adult then anyway but when Fleetwood Mac had their reunion tour I saw 50 year olds act like teenagers. Every middle age coworker I had acted like it was 1975 again for about 6 months. It was the strangest thing. And I just looked at them like a bunch of dinosaurs. What is funny though is that band was 30 years old at the time and were so washed up they had to have the reunion to get money and relevance again. Looking it up the band was only broken up for like 6 years or something anyway. But without a radio hit I guess people forget. And the members were all married and were fucking each other or something. But bands like Green Day and Weezer are now 30 years old and still doing stadiums so it’s just weird to think about how we treat spans of time now.
i love how youtube loves to throw videos bemoaning the evils of capitalism at you but it is against people downloading videos for free