Spoiler: a video game. It was nothing weird. Just a video game. Why he couldn’t just put that in the title, I don’t know. He had to use this weird clickbait title. But who is he baiting? What audience is he going for?
0:00 – So he’s at a nerd convention in St Louis, Missouri. Where even is Missouri? Let me check a map.
Oh right. Between Kansas and Illinois.
I was talking to a guy a couple of years ago on the phone. I was looking to buy a property. I ended up not doing it because of the fucking incompetent…well, let’s not get into it. But the guy was involved in mortgages. And I’m talking to him, you know, about mortgages and you can tell that he thinks something is up with me.
So he says, “Where I’m from, Kansas, mortgages are like 20 years long.” So I just said “Oh right” or whatever similarly witty remark I tend to come up with. I knew that he was an American from the moment he started talking. He didn’t have to tell me. But he was saying this because he wasn’t sure if I was an American or not. And frankly, I don’t think it’s any of his business so I didn’t volunteer the information. So then he says “Where…where are you from?” And I told him.
I had another conversation with somebody recently, again over the phone, and they thought that I was Irish. I’ve had similar experiences with taxi drivers and whatnot. One guy said that I have a “mixed” accent. It’s cool. It’s cool that I can pass as…something. Something other than American anyway. Even when speaking to other Americans, which is surprising.
0:15 – John Riggs is talking to some guy who’s a total douchebag. This guy is talking about installing some pachinko machine in his “air B&B”. Go fuck yourself, you parasite.
0:45 – John Riggs says to this guy and his pachinko machine, “Can it use some twinkering?” What? Maybe John Riggs was just thinking about twinks when talking to this guy.
2:30 – John Riggs is talking to the father of the kid who is aluded to in the video. Apparently, this kid’s plan is to bring some piece of crap into this nerd convention and “trade up”. It’s suggested that this is a thing that people make videos about. So they’ll bring in a pretty leaf or something and, through a series of clever trades, leave the nerd convention with a Faberge egg. Yeah, I don’t think so.
3:45 – Wooden NES cartridges.
5:15 – A shot of the people lining up to this nerd convention. These are the fattest fucking people in the universe. Look at that guy in the pink shirt. Then there’s some fucking huge guy with a fox tail coming out of his grossly oversized ass.
It’s gross. What normal human being would want to go to this thing?
5:45 – But now a word from our sponsor. Some fucking…you can get shitty custom shirts. Well, at least he’s not advertising an outright scam this time. That’s a change of pace.
He’s talking about the types of shirts that this place has. “They have baseball, they have hockey, they have…uhhh…baseball, of course.”
Great job, John Riggs. Couldn’t be bothered to do a second take?
And this wasn’t even a joke, I don’t think. It was just a fuck up.
6:15 – “I normally wear a 2X. This is 3X. And it fits perfectly.”
Just go on a fucking diet. Is it really that hard?
10:30 – So now, John Riggs is going to buy Brave Fencer Musashi from this kid for $150. Apparently, this kid made a series of trades to get this game. Let me look up what this game is being sold for. It can’t be much. It was a popular game.
I don’t know. Maybe $100 on average on Ebay.
But John Riggs doesn’t haggle at all. He just says, “Participation tropheys for everyone. Here’s the $150.”
Kids aren’t fucking stupid. They know when they’re being patronised.
I would have liked to see John Riggs drive a hard bargain and say “I’m not paying more than $70 for that thing. Just look up the prices on Ebay. You’re insane for asking $150.”
And if the kid starts complaining, you can say, “Look, you came here with a shiny rock and thought that you could trade yourself up to a Playstation 5. No. Life doesn’t work that way. Money is earned through hard work, not trying to con retards at a nerd convention. I’ll give you $70. Take it or leave it.”
Wouldn’t that be a much better lesson? And the kid would respect John Riggs for treating him as an equal, not some fucking soft-headed dope who needs coddling.
I hated people like John Riggs when I was a kid. I don’t mean fat creeps, I mean people who would patronise me. And you can see the way this kid responds that he’s not digging this. He knows that John Riggs is only doing this in a misplaced attempt at being nice. No. It’s not nice. You’re insulting this kid’s intelligence.
That guy in the first few minutes is clearly a fag. The “I put this Star Wars pachinko machine in my air b and b” was the giveaway. What the fuck is an air b and b? It’s just your house and you rent out a room. People always say air b and b like it’s a brand or an app or something? No it’s just a room for rent. Couch surfing. Or too cheap for a hotel on one end and comfortable with letting anyone on earth to come live with you on the other.
I hate John Hancock. If I ever saw him in person I’d give him a running placekick right in the pussy!
3x t shirts. Really sports jerseys and sports wear is what ruined American health more than anything. There was a time where everyone had no choice but to wear constricting clothing. Belts and button shirts. Even in the 80s it was poor form to go out somewhere in just a tshirt and jeans.
But then came oversized clothes and wearing football jerseys as acceptable. . In the past you’d say oh damn these clothes don’t fit anymore I guess I gained 10 pounds and I better lose 10 pounds soon. And 10 pounds is easy to manage as it is to lose track of. Now someone gains 50 pounds and oh hey better move up to the 2xl and then the 3 and 4. Drop the jeans, move into sweatpants.
There’s no way these people would be fatter than shit if they were shamed into thinking it was ok to be so fat to begin with but then also if they had no option but to wear something other than a size 54 Seahawks jersey and had to see what they actually look like in dress clothes.
Then there’s just the over abundance of food and that these retard assholes get to travel for free and their slavish fans pay for everything they do. So eating 5 hoagies while on vacation every other week doesn’t feel like anything bad because you never paid a god damn cent for any of it. And since you’re selling shit and making videos, you’re profiting from your own sloth.
And how does JOHN RIGGS get such a big channel? It’s crap! There’s nothing about it that is unique or original. It’s the same shit as everyone else. Gawk over used games with price stickers on them. Are there that many stupid idiots out there? Well look at the line of walking walruses waiting to get in!
I assumed that the Air B&B was a property he owned. I don’t think that people putting their spare rooms on Air B&B is so popular any more. Now it’s parasitic landlords buying properties with the intention of putting them on Air B&B thereby depriving the population of not only a place to buy as their home but also a place for people to rent.
And yeah, that B&B guy was clearly gay. I noticed it later in the video but didn’t mention it. But he made some flirtacious comments to John Riggs.
There was an initial exchange where this guy was talking about his Star Wars pachinko machine and he asked John Riggs if he has any questions about it. And John Riggs gave a smart answer like, “No, I think you’ve covered it.” And I thought that John Riggs was being a dick.
But then later in the video, when it became clear that this guy was gay and coming on to John Riggs, I understood why John Riggs responded the way that he did. He didn’t want to entertain that weirdo shit. John Riggs has his own weirdo shit going on.
He’s putting out a video like every other day. They’re pretty low-effort but how many variations on the theme are there? They also struggle to get 10,000 views so I think he’s just going for quantity. Keep pumping out low-quality videos and a handful of diehard horntards will bring in those pennies.
Yeah JOHN RIGGS’s deal is fucking nerdy chicks while still being married. Not anything gay. I wouldn’t be surprised if the “open relationship” card has been used. Maybe he just doesn’t care. Or he says as an excuse, look at me I’m a fat tub of shit! Who’s going to fuck me?
Why do you sometimes write JOHN RIGGS in all caps? It changes the voice in my head. It’s funny though.
In the early days of the blog, it was just supposed to be about the ladies. But I kept seeing John Riggs leaving comments on their Youtube videos and Twitter. So eventually he became an honourary Gamer Girl and he was even in the banner. I’ve since replaced his image with Tony from Hack the Movies.
So it just became a joke every time I’d be reviewing somebody’s video and I’d see John Riggs’ had left a comment.
Yeah I remember that. I liked his design it was disgusting and funny at once.
I love video games. They are the reason I got into computer science. As a kid, my parents got me one of those ataris that would allow me to write simple programs in BASIC. I am now a software engineer.
This is the reason why all these nerds really hit a nerve. They are prostituting/degrading the industry. Always fat, losers, bald, and fixated on the tiniest things about video games. And then, we have the women taking advantage of this by showing off skin and asking for money. It’s always about money, like Erin and all the other chicks covered here.
I am glad this blog exists. At least someone is fighting the good fight, pointing this shit out.
This blog inspired me to write one of my own (in Spanish, I live in South America), but I have to say it, it takes nerves of steel to watch through all that shitty content and review it.
I wasn’t able to keep it up.
What’s the blog, if you want to say?
Same here! I got into games because I loved technology. And not just games it was cameras, TVs radios, everything. When I got a gameboy at first I wanted to take it apart and learn how it worked as much as I wanted to play it. I always thought gaming was for kids who were smart and tech oriented. I have a masters degree in computer science that maybe I wouldn’t have gotten if I wasn’t into games to start. Now I’ve come to see for a large part of our generation and the next and next after, games were just a pacifier for autistic retards. Parents would get little Bimmy and NES to keep him quiet and they just got addicted and can’t let go. YouTube also attracts the laziest people because if you have a full time job you can’t really waste time making videos for pennies in the hopes one goes viral and then you can be rich. Where are the channels that are high quality, full time and run by decent people? There are none. They are employed! And if they are still into games they use that time just for that. So we’re stuck with Destiny Matos, Metal Jesus, Ate Shit Eric, Bimmy and everyone else in the screen wave camp