Cleaning/Testing NES/SNES/GameBoy games – John Riggs

About four months ago, JOHN RIGGS started streaming on Youtube. Sometimes he plays a game, sometimes he does…whatever this is. Cleaning and testing games. This is absolute rock bottom. What’s next? Cleaning your toilet?

0:00 – So it starts with a few minutes of John Riggs looking absolutely bamboozled that nobody is in the chat yet. Maybe offer them something more interesting to look at than you cleaning and testing old video games.

3:00 – So the first game works.

Oh my god. This is riveting. I can’t wait to find out if the next game works.

4:15 – The next game works too. And he revealed that he’s using a clone console to test this shit. So not even the original hardware. This sucks dick.

5:15 – Even John Riggs seems to be falling asleep.

He barely responds to anything the chat says. He’s totally checked out. Can’t even pretend to give a shit.

7:45 – He starts singing a weak rendition of The Sign. He’s a big Ace of Base fan.

8:00 – Third game works. Oh, this is great. This is complete anti-entertainment.

There’s TWO HOURS of this. It’s like some shit modern art.

10:00 – Fourth game works.

11:15 – He’s testing these games so that he can sell them on something called WhatNot. This is a scam company that he shilled for in some recent video where he bought a pile of games from some nerd convention. I don’t think that he actually bought them, it was some weird bullshit in relation to this scam company.

The company is not noteworthy enough for Wikipedia.

From what I can gather, it’s a scam where “Youtubers” livestream shit that they want to sell. Like The Home Shopping Channel or QVC, business models that went out of business with the advent of the internet.

I remember watching QVC and a guy was selling some cleaning product. And there was a big list of stains that appeared on screen: Dirt, grass, ink, whatever. One of the stains was “urine” but he skipped over that one. I found it hilarious as a ten year old.

11:30 – Fifth games works. This is Mario Kart. These are all going on John Riggs’ scam livestream. Check it out. Coming soon. Only on What Not!

John Riggs is talking about how he still has a landline because it’s only $20 a month. He goes on to say, “I’m not going to tell a doctor…I’m not going to give anyone who can collect a bill my cell phone number.”

First of all, this suggests that John Riggs is skipping out on hospital bills. But secondly, I find it weird that he finds a landline to be MORE anonymous than a cell phone number. A landline that’s connected to your home address. And that you can’t easily turn off.

Can’t you get cheap SIM cards in the US that are basically disposable? Pay as you go? You pay $10 or whatever, you put the SIM card in your phone, and you have $10 of credit? Use that number for people you don’t want to have your actual number.

And how said is it that people have to live like this? Dodging creditors. And John Riggs says that it’s the hospitals that he’s mainly concerned about. He has a son with severe problems who presumably needs a lot of medical care.

It’s complete bullshit. The fatcat Jews lock you into debt bondage in the US at every turn. From student loans to credit cards to medical bills. None of this shit is a problem, at least for me, in the UK. University is free (in Scotland, anyway). Medical care is free. And credit cards exist but it’s not the massive industry that it is in the US where it’s constantly promoted. I don’t owe anything.

12:30 – Next game works.

One of the horntards says, “Had trouble sleeping and i get to watch some Riggs live. Coolest night ever.” What a sad life this guy must lead that this unbelievably pointless stream is one of the highlights of his life.

15:30 – Next game works.

16:15 – He bumped his microphone or something and the audio went out.

17:30 – Now it’s back. Oh, this is a real adventure.

18:30 – Next game works.

21:00 – “I’ve been out of town these past few months.”

Yeah. We know. Trolling for purple-haired booty at nerd conventions. Who wants to have sex with 300 pound, father of of three, married, 45 year old, bald John Riggs over here? Form an orderly queue.

22:00 – Next game works. Sort of. But not really. So he’s setting this one aside to test on an actual console later.

Oh this is riveting. I can’t stand any more. My heart can’t take it. I’m stopping the video here. This video really set a new bar for what Youtube can be. It can be a fat man sitting in his home testing video games that he’s going to then sell on a scam website. What a time to be alive.

2 thoughts on “Cleaning/Testing NES/SNES/GameBoy games – John Riggs

  1. the best night ever guy is a strong contender for a spot in the top 10 horntard comments of 2024

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