Arby’s NEW Big Game Burger Review! – TheReportOfTheWeek

This guy. I used to watch his videos. They were interesting in brief doses, for a short period, but he quickly wore out his welcome in my subscription feed.

Also, he banned me because I pointed out his obvious homosexuality. You know what I’ve noticed? People don’t like it when you call them gay. Even when it’s true. Maybe especially when it’s true.

What’s the problem? There’s no shame in being gay. If that’s what you’re into, that’s what you’re into. But be out and proud. That’s all I’m saying. Here’s how the discussion should have went.

Commentator: Report of the Week is so quirky! I love him!

GamerGirls: It’s not that he’s quirky. He’s clearly gay.

Report of the Week: Yeah. I’m gay. Big deal.

GameGirls: I agree entirely. It’s perfectly fine.

Instead, he banned me.

So anyway, this is a guy who makes Youtube videos in oversized double-breasted suits that he finds in thrift stores. He’s been doing this since he was like 20? Maybe younger than that. He’s maybe in his mid to late 20s now. It’s no longer cute, if it ever was.

He also broadcasts a show on shortwave radio.

He’s CLEARLY gay. CLEARLY. But we’re just supposed to ignore that. No, he’s not gay, he’s just wacky. Okay. You go believe that.

He’s reviewing an Arby’s hamburger. Let’s check it out.

2:30 – It’s a venison/elk/beef burger. That is interesting. They obviously aren’t just selling a venison burger because they’re trying to make this as low-cost as possible. So the beef makes things cheaper.

3:00 – “When you think of Arby’s you think of roast beef, chicken, that kind of thing.”

Chicken? It’s been too long. I haven’t been to an Arby’s in fucking 25 years. They sure as fuck weren’t selling chicken then. You’d get a roast beef sandwich and a potato cake. I was reading something a few years ago saying that apparently they don’t sell potato cakes any more.

Yeah, I looked it up. They don’t sell them any more.

I remember when the curly fries came in. They were really good and presented a problem. Because I liked the potato cakes but I also liked the curly fries. I could only get one. It seems that the curly fries won out.

As a kid, my grandfather was visiting us from the Old Country. I forget which one. And we were showing him around the ghetto. We stopped at an Arby’s. Brought the food home. And he’s eating this roast beef sandwich. He’s never seen something like this before. They didn’t have roast beef sandwiches anywhere in Europe in the 1980s.

Then he finished it, and in his language he said, “That was the worst hamburger I’ve ever eaten in my life.” And my mother translated this for us. And everybody laughed. It was a wholesome moment. This old man expressing bewilderment at American fast food. Thinking that a roast beef sandwich was in fact a hambuger.

It’s true, of course. If you’re expecting a hamburger and you’re eating a roast beef sandwich, it’s going to be the worst hamburger of your life.

Never in a million years would I eat an Arby’s again. I’m just recalling what they were like. It’s like half a pound of roast beef, which has congealed together, on some thin bun. And there’s nothing on it. No toppings. Not even onions. And you put that fucking Arby’s sauce on it. What even is Arby’s sauce? Let me look this up.

It’s a tomato-based sauce. If you say so.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked the sauce. They started selling them in bottles at the store. But it’s a terrible culinary experience. A fucking roast beef “sandwich” that’s clearly shaped like a hamburger, and you put this weird sauce on it. No thanks.

4:45 – It’s $9 just for the burger. That’s some crazy prices.

12:00 – He says that it tastes like a hamburger. It’s true. You can get venison burgers in the UK. They taste like hamburgers.

That’s all of that shit that I’m going to watch.

This Arby’s that I went to as a kid is no longer open. It’s a Mexican restaurant now. The town is mostly Mexican now. Going along Google Street View, you see a lot of signage in Spanish.

The place was like 80% white when I was a kid. What happened? You can’t have a country like this. Well, we already have a country like this. It’s called Mexico.

Believe me, I have no problem with the people of Mexico. They’re fantastic. They’re friendly. They’re rabid hemp enthusiasts. The ladies tend to have big melons. What’s not to like?

But guys…you have to learn the fucking language. That’s my only issue. You can’t come to a country and expect everybody to learn your language.

So that’s reason number ten billion why I don’t miss the US.

And you can’t talk about any of this sort of stuff in the US lest you be labelled a racist. Something as common sense as, “If you move to a country, you should learn the language”.

The UK is also pretty sensitive on these issues. But in mainland Europe, you can find some magnificent open talk about immigration and race issues. They’re not shy about stating the obvious. But in the US, and to a slightly lesser extent in the UK, you have to tiptoe around these sort of issues. You can’t state facts that everybody knows are facts or else some purple-haired freak is going to call you a doody head.

I think I’m going to move back to my ancestral country. Get in touch with…whatever there is to get in touch with. Some local ladies’ buttocks. Bond over our shared and righteous contempt of gypsies. Just people telling it like it is.

6 thoughts on “Arby’s NEW Big Game Burger Review! – TheReportOfTheWeek

  1. Yeah, I am from Mexico but I get what you say. Language is an important element for cultural integration. Otherwise, migrants won’t ever be assimilated.
    The same can be said about Chinese, Arabs, Korean, Jews. I’ve been in many parts of the US and they have they own neighborhoods, with their own food and signs in their own language. At this beginning of this year, I spent a few weeks in Portugal, specifically in Lisbon. A lot of people from Africa and yes, while walking around their neighborhoods, everything was written in their language, they sold their own type of food and all.
    During the pandemic, due to currency differences (and the fact that pretty much everybody was in home office) we received a significant number of north Americans in Mexico city. The result: rents are through the roof (landlords prefer to charge in UU dollars) and whole neighborhoods are now English speaking zones. North Americans demand that everybody should speak English, even when they are visiting other countries. That is characteristic of them, ask anywhere.

    I personally don’t know why someone from China or any other country would choose to move to the US. I mean, there are tons of valid reasons. But in the case of Mexicans, I can tell you that must of us move north not because we want to speak English or because we like US culture. It’s mostly out of desperation. The situation, the government, the economy here sucks. We are abroad out of necessity. But we very much would prefer to stay home, with our people, our culture, food and yes, our language.

    The only thing I do have to point out as incorrect is that no, big melons are not that prevalent over here. That also sucks.

    1. Yeah, it’s true. You see this anywhere there’s large immigration from a particular country. Chinese people will stay in Chinese communities and only speak Chinese. A lot of Pakistani people in the UK only speak Urdu because there are enough Pakistani people that they don’t need to learn English. English people retire abroad in France and Spain and there are communities of just old English people and English is the only language spoken.

      So you see this any time there are large groups of immigrants and it takes a generation or two for them to integrate and start speaking the language. But the scale of immigration from Mexico is massive. I know that people are leaving out of desperation and I’m sympathetic but it’s not the way to run a country. You can’t just let everybody in.

  2. Mass immigration only works when 1- the incoming people actually want to be American, in this case or whatever else the native country is. 2- when people from all over are forced to integrate together. In 1900 you would see a pollock, an Irishman, a daygo, a whatever all in the same neighborhood. They had no choice but to speak English to each other. With all Mexicans, you’re basically implanting a town into a new place. 3- the flow of immigrants is controlled by natural forces. Such as people trying to get the hell out of Russia because it’s a shithole but then in America you’ll be working for three cents a day. Basically a slave but a step up.

    None of these apply anymore! People cross over from Mexico with cellphones! They just get invited here where they can collect welfare and wreck the society. And yes once you ask why, you’re called a racist. Or worse, gasp! A conservative!! But race matters, heritage matters because what is a nation besides its lineage? Do these people give a damn about American Heroes like George Washington? No. Because there’s no connection. They descended from somewhere else. Sure an immigrant’s child can be raised to be a part of that heritage but they aren’t doing that. No assimilation only balkanization. So why the hell should they care about their new country’s laws , history and traditions? They don’t. They won’t. And change it from Mexico to say Somalia and you amplify the problem 100 fold.

    1. I forgot to comment on the video! Wow this guy is super gay! He probably went looking to be molested in the past. Wow. Hella gay! 3 seconds was all I could stand. God damn, he’s too gay!

      It’s clear that words like quirky and campy are/were code words for homosexual before it was acceptable. Forced to be accepted I might add. You can’t stand up and say it’s wrong anymore. You’ll get shouted down as being full of “hate.” remember that stupid “fuck h8” thing years ago? You’re supposed to love the gays. If you said I don’t even hate gay people but churches shouldn’t be forced to have gay weddings then a bunch of teenage keyboard warriors would scream fuck h8 in your face until you shut up. They self censored the word hate but not fuck. Kind of funny. But yeah when they were pushing this stuff to normalize it, normalize men fucking each other in the ass, they couldn’t just say it clearly. They had to code it otherwise people would be wise to it and stomp it out.

      I wish I was a live in the 40s. Sure the world wasn’t perfect but men wore suits and hats, everyone had a job, no one was 300 lbs covered in tattoos, crime wasn’t out of control, no illiteracy. No transients doing drugs in the streets, and I could go on

    2. Yeah, I agree that people are “not allowed” to discuss this topic. But it’s a problem nonetheless, and as such, the only way to solve it is by first acknowledging it and discussing it. I have been in Mexican towns in, for instance, San Francisco, and yeah, people there are not interested in blending into society. They don’t care about the language, culture, or anything else. This is facilitated by the fact that you can speak Spanish pretty much anywhere, and people will understand you, if not for being Mexican, maybe because they are from somewhere else in latam. They brag that “you don’t need to learn English to live in the US”.
      Heck, there are even services like Latino DirecTV, with Spanish-only TV programs. But that is what I meant when I say that Mexicans don’t move north to “blend” with people up there. It’s usually the case that they didn’t even want to migrate but were forced to. And under that circumstance, their objective is, as you said, “implant a town into a new place”.
      We have something similar here in Mexico. I mentioned the “digital nomads”, but that is just one side of the coin. The other side is about all migrants from Central America. Tons of people trying to reach the US by crossing through México but, ultimately, staying here.
      Believe me when I tell you this: picture the most racist North American, and I mean Nazi-levels of racism. Mexicans are 1,000 worse against people from Central America.

      1. Yeah I’ve heard Mexicans don’t like central and South Americans. I don’t think your average Gringo up north is racist. Certainly not nazi. But they don’t want to be a foreigner in their own country against their own will. And every time you vote. For whoever they go against whatever the people want. The rich Asian countries do immigration right. It’s almost zero. It exists but you have to have skills natives don’t have to get a visa first. The number of visas is very small. Then you have to support yourself. No welfare. No housing. Nothing. Also you would need an airplane to enter these countries in the first place too. So that helps. Marriage visas aren’t easy too. You can’t get one until you’ve been married a few years and have to prove you live together. Learn the language too. None of these forms are written in English either. These countries also have strict laws on the citizenry. No drugs. No guns. No bullshit. Everyone falls in line. If you went to Taiwan South Korea or Japan it’s like another planet. Peaceful and in order.

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