This video got over half a million views. What the fuck? That’s TWICE as many as her Power Pad video. Finally some good news for old ErinPlays87. Her years of…well, I can’t say “hard work”. But her years of existing have finally paid off! She probably made about twenty bucks off of this video. Good for her. Some of that folding money.
The video is just a one minute clip of Erin going through an old Sears catalogue and talking about video games that she sees in the catalogue but never owned. It’s the same sort of video that she makes on Twitch when her “carpal tunnel syndrome” gets to be too much but…only a minute of it.
This must be what the hip young people on TikTok want to watch these days. Fuck sexy dance videos. That trend is over. The new trend is watching videos from a woman old enough to be your mother, lazily going through an old Sears catalogue, and pointing out what’s in the catalogue in the most boring, monotone fashion possible. Maybe these kids are watching this shit ironically. I don’t know.
So that video was posted in December 2021. Around Christmas time. But Erin knew that she was on to something. Half a million views. Doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out. She wanted to capitalise on her success. So two days later, she made ANOTHER video where she looked at a Sears catalogue.
Same format. A middle-aged, unemployed woman going through an old catalogue and pointing out games that she never had, saying that things are cute, and reading the prices. And this video is nearly FIVE minutes. So you’re getting five times the content as the previous video.
Only 17,000 views on this one. What happened? The fickle young people of TikTok moved on, I guess. Listening to some senile old woman thumbing through a Sears catalogue from 30 years ago just isn’t a draw any more. They’ve moved on to prank videos or something.
But Erin isn’t one to give up. So three days later, she came back strong with a video about a JC Penney catalogue. Changing the formula. Keeping it fresh. It can’t be Sears every time.
Three thousand views. Party’s over, Erin. People watched that second Sears video and said, “What the fuck were we thinking watching this trash?” and then blocked Erin’s channel from their recommended video feed. Or however it works on TikTok.
What must have happened is that her first video got promoted for whatever baffling reason. And then she tried to milk it but no. The videos are complete dogshit. You can’t go through an old catalogue, talk about games that you have no clue about, and just read the fucking titles and prices out. That’s fucking stupid. People don’t want to watch that shit.
So her next video, published a few days after the previous one, uses some kind of excited AI woman’s voice as the narrator. Because Erin’s own monotone voice is fucking poison for views. And it has this loud, upbeat, public domain music throughout.
But here’s the problem: IT’S STILL BORING AS FUCK! All she does is show some random footage of a toy store. Who gives a shit? This is 2023 and I’m an adult. I don’t need to see footage from some fake Toys R Us that’s being recreated in Macys. Is this even her footage? I doubt it. When was she in New York? The only place she ever goes is Los Angeles to visit her parents and go to Disneyland. Twice a month.
Here’s where the wheels completely fall off the Erin Plays gravy train. She’s looking at a Seventeen magazine from 2001 with Britney Spears on the cover. It’s too long at two minutes. It’s just Erin reading the fucking headlines of these articles. IT’S AWFUL. Why does she continue with this? She has NO personality, NO talent, NO charisma, NO life experience, and for that matter NO knowledge of music. What has she ever said that demonstrated knowledge about music? She knows trivia about the lives of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake and shit like this, but not the music.
One thousand views. What a crash. From half a million to one thousand all within the span of two weeks. People saw that first video, because it was being promoted by TikTok, and then said, “I never want to listen to this boring woman ever again. She has absolutely nothing to say.” That’s clearly what happened.
Nintendo Power. Another complete dogshit video. Same old shit over and over again.
Here’s she’s pretending to be interested in the Vectrex. I’m almost positive that it’s just re-using footage from her Youtube videos. Dogshit.
Hello Kitty. Again, it’s just recycled footage from her Youtube videos from YEARS ago. She’s wearing her “iconic” Hamburglar top. Dogshit.
More of the same. This time it’s about the Casio Loopy. Same fucking top. It’s footage from the same Youtube video. I think that there’s a video where she shows some different consoles that Mike bought for her.
This one got 24,000 views. So something of an improvement over the last several videos. A complete fluke, though.
Then she’s right back to 1,000 views with this fucking piece of shit. All it is is a one minute video of Erin WAY too close to the camera and then footage of this complete non-event. Footage which is the intellectual property of Viacom or whoever owns MTv.
Do you want to watch two minutes of a box for a children’s toy? No. Nobody does. Five hundred views.
Thirty-eight seconds of an In-N-Out. Not the original In-N-Out because she couldn’t get into that one. So she just went to ANY In-N-Out. She went to the one that was open. Literally that’s what she says. Then she shows a PICTURE that that she got from Wikipedia or something, of the original store, and she says that the store is cute. That’s how the video ends.
WHO WANTS TO WATCH THIS? SHE THINKS THAT THERE’S A MARKET FOR THIS? A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WITH NO CHARISMA, TALKING ABOUT NOTHING? FUCK OFF!
She’s using the AI voice again with the upbeat public domain music and she’s showing the most boring fucking VHS boxes you can possibly imagine. It’s some mainstream children’s cartoons and Spice Girls shit. Why would anybody POSSIBLY want to watch this?
And finally, Erin’s most recent TikTok video, the AI voice and public domain music while Erin shows some t-shirts that she owns. It’s the same shit. They’re almost all Jimmy Eats World and The Strokes shirts. Is even one person on earth even remotely interested in this? Including Erin.
So that’s what Erin has been doing for the past five months. That’s why she’s not been on Youtube. She’s been trying to make it big on TikTok. She had one video go viral, as a total fluke, and that encouraged her delusions that she was going to be the next big TikTok star.
No. Nobody wants to watch these boring as fuck videos. Put your fucking booty shorts from the Power Pad video back on and start making some “sexy” dance videos. That’s what people want to watch on TikTok. Not a middle aged, unemployed woman, with no charisma talking about nothing. It’s fucking ridiculous. How can she not know this? How delusional can she possibly be?
Erin will blame everyone but herself for how much her content sucks. And the vulnerable men she preys on will still feel sorry for her. Disgusting parasite.
It’s completely mind-boggling that she thinks that these boring as fuck videos are going to appeal to anyone.
How long until she has to open an Onlyfans account to survive?
Why does she even need to make a living if her hubby Mike is rich?
Maybe a subscription to her only fans might be worth it for a month. I am sure she will upload photos of TV guide or something like that
I’d pay 4 bucks to see that beat up brown eye once.