So…this is a stream where Mike plays a game and Erin just watches. Why would anybody…it makes no fucking sense. If we want to watch Mike play the game…he’s already done this. Recently. On stream, for money. What does Erin add to any of this? Her great commentary? Is she going to mention colours and cute sprites?
It’s like that Zuvi Japanese prostitute who I’ve written about a few times. Her pimp will be off-screen playing the game and she’s just there delivering her completely banal commentary on what she had for lunch or whatever. And it’s not a secret. They’re not trying to pull anything over on the viewer. It’s blatantly her pimp playing the game. She says as much. Anyway, here’s the latest time that I wrote about her, if you’re interested.
0:15 – “Every time I’ve tried to play this, I give it like five minutes and I just don’t get it and I want to just not play it any more.”
Five minutes is surely an exaggeration. Tell us exactly how many times you’ve played the game, Erin. And whether or not it was on stream, for money.
So Erin is framing this Mike teaching her how to play the game to inspire her to become interested in it. What? Why didn’t she just watch Mike fairly recent stream of the game then? Or why doesn’t she ask Mike to teach her about the game in her spare time like a normal person? Why does this have to be a stream?
This is unbelievably lazy “content”. Erin can’t even be bothered playing the games any more. That’s too much work. She has fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
1:00 – Mike thinks that there’s a carrot on a window sill in this game. Erin corrects him, saying that it’s a potted plant. She then, rightly, expresses completely bewilderment as to why Mike thought that this was a carrot. Mike then asks why there would be a potted plant on a window sill. Erin pronounces this as “window seal” but we’ll ignore that.
Why is there a potted plant on a window sill? What? Because that’s where potted plants go. It’s also somewhat of a staple in video games. Has he not played Urban Champion for the Nintendo Entertainment System?
Erin changed up her background in her gaming closet, by the way. Now there’s some neon cherries and a neon Saturn. The planet, not the Roman god or the car. Erin is all about neon. The 80s! Am I right? Erin was born in 1987.
3:00 – Erin says, “I saw palm trees on the overworld map and I just had an idea for an Erin video that nobody would watch.”
That could be anything, but go on.
“Top Ten Palm Trees in Games.”
Eugh. I had absolutely rock bottom expectations and this was even more boring that I anticipated. How is she possibly going to come up with a top ten palm trees in video games video? She doesn’t fucking play video games. She doesn’t know which games have palm trees.
Then Mike suggests making a top ten chairs in video games video. So what games does Erin suggest? Well, obviously the two games that she played most recently, on stream, for money: Splatterhouse and some Castlevania game.
This is exactly what I’m talking about. She has NO EXPERIENCE with video games. So she can’t make these types of videos.
4:30 – Mike goes into a building marked “13”. Erin says, “Thirteen is Sailor Moon’s favourite number.” This is some top tier commentary. I really want to hear more Sailor Moon trivia from a 35 year old chronically unemployed woman.
6:45 – “Oh, you can search through trash? This is like…umm…Princess Tomato and the Salad Kingdom.”
A game that Erin played one time, on stream, for money, and then never again. But she mentions it constantly.
7:30 – Mike says, “This game is RNG”. Erin says, “Oh.”
I can almost guarantee that Erin has no idea what “RNG” means. But she pretended that she understood because this is what she does. She doesn’t know ANYTHING.
Erin is taking notes on the game. For when she (potentially) plays this on stream, for money. Notes that she’ll never use, even if she does play the game. This isn’t your SAT prep course, Erin. You don’t need to take notes.
I wonder what Erin got on her SATs. I think that they changed the scoring system shortly after I took the test so it’s probably going to be hard to compare in any event. I did marginally better than average on the reading section but significantly worse than average on the math section. I never took any prep course, though. That’s the problem. I just went in totally blind and winged it. I didn’t retake the test either.
There’s a huge advantage when you have parents who are clued up and engaged. I didn’t have that. So I just had to figure everything out on my own.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter. I got into every school that I wanted to get into. I wasn’t applying to Harvard. And even if I got 200 points higher, which is surely much more than a prep course would give you, I wouldn’t have got into Harvard.
8:45 – “I’m taking notes because this video is going to be part of a video that I’m going to be making.”
So she’s not even going to stream this. It’s just going to be for a Youtube video. She’s going to make a Youtube video where she presents herself as an expert at the game, despite the fact that she’s openly admitting that she only played the game a few times, for a matter of minutes, on stream, for money.
21:00 – Somebody in the chat says that they just ate 52 Chicken McNuggets. You want to know what Erin said to that momentous announcement? “That’s great.”
Good chat, Erin.
And she doesn’t even have the excuse that she’s trying to talk while playing the game. She’s doing NOTHING. She can focus her entire attention on the chat.
32:30 – Erin says that she needs another cup of coffee. She’s bored out of her fucking mind. So she asks Mike if they should pause the stream or if he can continue without her.
What the fuck does she think that she’s contributing to any of this? It’s Mike playing the game and she’s saying totally banal bullshit.
34:30 – They’re talking about some ninja game that Mike recently beat, on stream, for money and then Erin says, “The furthest I got was to the boss but then I couldn’t beat him.” She goes on to ask about how she recorded the video. So this was for a stream or Youtube video, of course. That’s the only time when Erin plays video games.
I’m turning this off now. Mike is going into nerdy detail about this game and Erin clearly does not give the slightest of fucks. Nor do I.
OK, I used to have her streams as background noise when I as working all day long at my computer. I do remember specifically asking her, on stream, how she liked her coffee and I remember she said that she is not into that. She said she drinks only tea.
And by the way, I tried to watch her stream yesterday and I only managed to endure 3 minutes. I have to say it, she looks so fat. I took and screenshot but I don’t know how to share it. I am sure she will eventually upload it to YouTube.
How does she have TWO channels?! There isn’t enough content for one channel, let alone enough brain cells to create any content!
Her second channel is mostly her Twitch streams and the ocassional video that’s so bad that even Erin deems it unworthy of her main channel.