0:00 – What is he drinking? I’ll have to go frame by frame.
Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Right? But it’s orange. Let me look this up.
I think it’s the Hard Strawberry Lemonade.
I never had one of these. I didn’t get it. In high school, people would talk about them like it’s some sort of alcoholic drink. And the website does ask you if you’re over 21. What exactly are these things?
Oh, it couldn’t have been high school because these were released in 1999 and I was out of high school by then.
Alcopop? These are for women. Women and children. I mean, come on. He’s drinking a pink beverage. There’s your first clue that this shit isn’t for men.
The company is based in Levittown, Pennsylvania. That sounds familiar. Wasn’t it some town created by a company?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levittown,_Pennsylvania
Yeah. And it’s in Bucks County, homeplace of Screenwave Media. Who knew?
Levittown was some kind of experiment, wasn’t it? Or it was always used as an example of an average American town. Let me fucking skim this article.
Residents (who are sometimes called Levittowners) were first expected to comply with a lengthy list of rules and regulations regarding the upkeep of their homes and use of their property. Two of these “rules” included a prohibition on hanging laundry out to dry on Sunday and not allowing homeowners to fence off their yards. These proved unenforceable over time, particularly when backyard pools became financially accessible to the working class and privacy concerns drove many to fence off their yards
You need a fence in order to have a pool? And how would have even give you any privacy?
As a kid, there were rumours that neighbours way across street would swim naked. So I’d sometimes sneak over to a little window that looked out over their pool with a monocular. Never saw anything. Never even saw them swimming with swimsuits on. But you’d live in hope.
“Levitt & Sons would not sell homes to African Americans.”
Maybe this is what I was thinking of. I knew there was some controversy or something.
Anyway, Newt is reviewing this movie in his kitchen. Do I want to watch this? Not really. Isn’t learning about Levittown more interesting than listening to Newt talk about some fucking shitty horror movie? And for 25 minutes? Come on. Have some respect for your audience.
He recently reviewed Terrifier 2 for fucking 90 minutes. It was with PVC Bondage Girl. He split it into two parts. I didn’t watch any of the first video and I watched about 17 minutes of the second video. There was some cringe stuff in there, including Newt talking about hard his penis gets, but I’m going to do a whole fucking review on this? That means that I have to watch the video. Ninety minutes of two mentally ill people talking about a tits and gore movie? There’s no chance. I’m not doing that.
So this video is 25 minutes. I’ll give you five minutes, Newt. Say something interesting in five minutes or I’m turning this shit off.
0:15 – He saw the movie with Karl Bower. You guys all know Karl Bower, right? No? Well, according to Newt, he’s a big time film maker. Newt is besties with him on Facebook.
0:45 – This guy called Newt “The Ed Wood of Youtube”.
No, I’m sticking with The Ideas Man. There’s just something funny about Newt being called The Ideas Man. Because the man has no ideas whatsoever. It’s like calling a fat guy “slim” or something. There’s a certain cruelty to it but it’s also funny. I’m sorry.
2:45 – “I’m from New Jersey. We love our fucking malls there.”
Oh. This is something unique to New Jersey, you think? New Jersey is the mall capital of the world? I have no idea. You learn so much from watching these videos.
Okay, that’s your five minutes up, Newt. I’m moving on. Tits and gore. We get it.
Let’s check out his Twitter, I guess.
Oh, he has a picture of him with Horseface. She’s not looking good. But she’s wearing half a top, of course. Trying to distract you from the face. You know what else can distract people from your face? Having a pleasant personality. Try it out, Horseface.
The 9,613 Subscriber Spectacular! Thanks for the update, Newt.
He talks about the death of Kevin Conroy. You guys all know Kevin Conroy, right? I sure as fuck don’t.
What about fucking Gallagher? Why no shout out for the death of Gallagher? That man was a comedy genius.
My mother used to watch his comedy special “Stuck in the 60s” at least four times every weekend when they’d endlessly show it on Comedy Central back in “the 90s”. So I know all about Gallagher. He wasn’t just about watermelons. He had a whole fucking act. That watermelon nonsense was just the grand finale.
People compare Gallagher to Carrot Top or prop comedians like this. But no. He had some props, sure. But most of his act was a real think piece. He’d be doing George Carlin style social commentary.
Kevin Conroy. Fuck you. Newt is over here boohooing over this guy who he never mentioned even one time in his entire fucking life.
“Waaaaaaa! He was my favorite fictional character.”
Fuck off. What are you? Seven years old?
Who would my favorite fictional character be? Maybe Rerun from What’s Happening. How long has Fred Berry been dead. Wow. Since 2003. He had a tragic life in some respects, but he also accomplished a lot. And he brought a lot of joy into people’s lives. Hollywood will never improve on the What’s Happening episode where Rerun joined a cult.