Hey guys! Remember Garbage Pail Kids?
Yes, John. Those cards/stickers from like 1986 that were capitalising on the Cabbage Patch Kids trend? I remember them. What about it?
Well, apparently there’s a new game for the NES based on this property. Some nerd made it in his basement. And John Riggs is showing it off. He was at some nerd convention where this was available to play.
This video is a “short” but it’s the longest “short” I’ve ever watched. I actually had to pause it to make sure that it was a “short”. No. It is. It’s just really, really boring. What seems like an eternity is actually under 60 seconds.
I had a fair number of Garbage Pail Kids cards. The first series are the most valuable and I had, I don’t know, maybe half of the set but I didn’t keep them in pristine condition. With the later series, when I realised that these were worth some money, I started taking better care of the cards. But for the first season, I would write on the checklist to mark off which cards I had and I carried them around with so the corners got a bit rounded and shit like this.
How much are these worth anyway? It can’t be that much.
Maybe $50 for Blasted Billy. I think I had that one. That seems to be the most expensive card that I had. So no big deal.
They also had giant sized cards. These were like, I don’t know, half the size of an A4 sheet of paper. I didn’t have any of those.
The Garbage Pail Kids line started to get really disgusting by…I don’t know…the fifth series? The tenth series? I lost interest after the first series but I’d still buy them on and off. But there came a point where every fucking card was some character eating his own mucus. I don’t want to see this. And there’s nothing clever about this. So that’s when I stopped buying them.
What was cool was imagining an actual doll in the style of the characters on the card. Joltin’ Joe was my favourite. It was just a guy in combat gear with a gun and a stack of dynamite. That would be a cool. What I don’t want is a doll eating its own mucus.
There were also tiny red figurines. I had a couple of them. I remember looking this up before and those seemed to be surprisingly valuable now. I had an Adam Bomb/Blasted Billy and some character with a weird, melted face or something.
Oh, I found it on Ebay. I think. I don’t remember it being a girl but maybe it was. Muggin Megan. Forty bucks. No big deal there.
https://www.littleweirdos.net/2016/02/garbage-pail-kids-cheap-toys-classic.html
They were called Cheap Toys. I guess. And they came in a few different colours. Mine were both red.
Somebody is selling an Adam Bomb for about $100. So it’s not too big of a deal if I still have it or not. It’s not like I’d be able to retire off of this shit.
I never had a Cabbage Patch Kid but I wanted one. My sisters had them. I guess my parents didn’t want to turn me gay. But I did get a knock off version. His head came off a lot but I liked it. I brought it to show and tell in the first grade and then the kids and even the teacher laughed at me so I kind of got off of it after that.
There were also animal-like Cabbage Patch Kids. What were those called? Let me look.
Koosas? I don’t remember that word. But my sister had one. It seemed kind of cool but looking at the pictures now…I’m not impressed.
There was also a World Traveler line of Cabbage Patch Kids. It was just the regular doll with ethnic clothing from some part of the world.
I also had a bear that had a flannel shirt, overalls, and a felt cowboy hat. It was a similar size and concept to Cabbage Patch Kids but less overtly feminine so I was able to get one. The hat quickly got destroyed but the rest of the outfit was fine. What were they called?
Ah. Furskins. Made by the same people who made Cabbage Patch Kids. That makes sense. And yeah, they had shoes. It’s just that shitty hat that immediately got destroyed. Once it gets crumpled, you can never get it back in shape. And it gets crumpled immediately.
I also had a My Pet Monster. Again, similar to Cabbage Patch Kids, I guess. Bit larger. But later, they had different sizes. And a football version. Just the monster in football helmet. They got so desperate.
I mean, if you already have the original My Pet Monster, why would you want the football version? It’s the same fucking character, just with a football helmet.
There was also My Buddy and Kid Sister. I didn’t get any of that shit. I had zero interest in that. It was too gay even for my doll-playing self.
Also, I was probably older by the time that thing came out. Because I remember kids joking about the commercial in school. Let me check.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Buddy_(doll)
Well, it says 1985, so same time as Cabbage Patch Kids. I don’t know.
I remember that commercial, though. That kid riding around on his Big Wheel with the doll in his lap. And were they wearing matching outfits? There’s no way he wouldn’t get beat up.