TMNT, Dark Souls 2, As Dusk Falls, Norco, Cuphead DLC and more summer updates – Cannot be Tamed

0:00 – Oh, she’s wearing that “Clever Girl” Jurassic Park top again.  This is one of her favourite tops.  It’s black (her favourite colour), it’s a nerd thing (to attract the horntards), and she thinks that it’s feminist.  So it’s a winner across the board.

“Hello.  We’ve got a super-sized update video this month.  Last month, at the beginning of June, I got covid so I was not really feeling up to filming.”

What?  Why didn’t I know about this?  I need to start checking her Twitter regularly.

How did she even get it?  She’s vaccinated.  Multiple times.  She used to promote every vaccine.  I think that even her dog got the vaccine.  What happened?  That’s not much of a vaccine.  

I got vaccines for the mumps, measles, rubella, meningitis.  All that shit and probably more.  You know how many times I got those diseases?  NONE!  Because I was fucking vaccinated.  

I could walk into a room right now CHOCK FULL of the mumps, rubella, and meningitis and not worry about a thing.  I’m fully immunised.  

But Pam got covid.  Maybe it’s because the world isn’t shut down any more.  Maybe we all need to stop working again.  And masks.  Masks are super effective.  That’s why Muslim women who wear a hijab never get sick.  

Somehow, I never got covid even though I skipped the vaccine.  Or maybe I did get covid but I just mistook it for the flu.  I never had any loss of smell, though.  Isn’t that the big symptom?  

0:15 – “I’m totally recovered now.”

Well, thank fuck for that.  I was afraid that we could have lost Pam and her endlessly entertaining videos.  I mean, there’s a 0.4% death rate for people between the ages of 40 and 49.

Compare that to the 1.6% death rate for the flu in people 18-49 years old.

It’s a real cause for concern.

0:30 – “In the past two months, I made two guest appearances on podcasts.”

Eugh.  Dreadful.  She’s’ the world’s worst podcast guest.  She has NOTHING to say.  

And it’s just the same bullshit.  She did that wine podcast with some other lesbian.  She’s been on this boring as fuck podcast many times.  

She was also on The Cartridge Club.  You guys all know the Cartridge Club podcast, right?  Let me look this up.  Just to refresh my memory because I’m all about The Cartridge Club.

They have 223 subscribers.  I see.  And the video that Pam was on is at 72 views.  It’s one of their highest viewed episodes.

Why bother?  Why make the videos?  This podcast is really low-effort but still.  Why put any effort at all into this?  It’s just once a month, I guess.  Gives a couple of nerds something to do.

1:30 – Now for the pickups.  We can see what video games Pam has purchased in the past two months. 

Why would anybody give a shit?  Not just about Pam but anybody.  “Here’s some stuff that I bought.”  Okay.  Well, good for you.  Are you going to let me borrow that stuff?  Can I play the games too?  If not, what the fuck do I care?  

And if there’s any game that I want to play, I can just download it.  It costs nothing.  Or I’ll buy it.  I’ll buy games that I like.  I don’t care about games that you like.  That’s of no interest to me.

Fortunately, she time-stamps everything.  Let’s go to…the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game.

9:15 – She played the game online, with four friends.

Why doesn’t she play with the horntards?  Aren’t they her friends too?  

I don’t get it.  If I was on Twitch and I had a crew of loyal horntards tuning in, I’d play online with them.  Make it an incentive.  For five bucks, you can play a game with me.  Get a 16 player game going and you’re making some cash.  

Does nobody do this?  It seems obvious to me.  Or if you have a smaller following, just make it so that subscribers can join your game.  So that would be an incentive to subscribe (i.e. pay money).  

Every time Mike plays an online multiplayer game, it’s just him and Bitch Duo.  Like when he played Valheim.

You can have however many people playing that game at once but no.  He’s just going to play with Bitch Duo.  Bitch Duo is some guy who made the emotes for Mike and Erin.  He also designed Erin’s shirts for her fabulous merch store.  And I’m pretty sure that he did all of this for free.  Indeed, Bitch Duo pays Mike and Erin.  He’s a loyal subscriber.  And he gives gift subs generously.

Mike did the same thing with Quake.  He played some multiplayer Star Trek game with Bitch Duo.  There was also a modern space game that he played with Bitch Duo.  It’s fucking terrible.  These games are not meant to be played with two people.  And that’s not even the way things are done.  It’s not like they’re going 1v1 against each other.  It’s just Mike playing and Bitch Duo is there to support Mike.

Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee recently said that she thinks of the people who go to her stream as her “friends and family.”  Okay, great.  So play some games with them.  Give them your Steam ID, add them to your friends list, and play some games with them.  On stream, for money.  Why not?  Add Wheelchair Guy and Shrek Guy and Guy Who Makes Lego Dioramas and have fun together.  Why is that so weird?  Why is nobody doing this?  

Because these people want absolutely nothing to do with the horntards.  They hate the horntards.  They can’t stand them.  They can’t even do something as simple as playing a video game with them.  That’s too intimate for these people.  

15:15 – “On my multiplayer nights, we finished Zombie Army Trilogy.”

Multiplayer?  So is she playing with the horntards or what?  It doesn’t seem to be that way.  I think that she’s playing with people who she knows in real life.

Oh, and when you go to Pam’s Twitch, she has a few “comedy” clips for your enjoyment.  It’s completely fucking baffling.  For example, there’s one where she’s playing some adventure game from the 1990s and she mumbles, “Just kiss already” for reasons that aren’t clear from the clip.  That’s it . That’s the clip.  Funny, right?  

20:00 – She’s talking about some other game and says that three or four of her friends decided to play it because it has online multiplayer.  

Pam…you have HUNDREDS of friends who would be happy to play video games with you.  Maybe thousands.

So let’s check out the comments.

– “COVID is tough. I’ve had it twice. The second time was easier, but the brain fog the first time was intense. Glad you’re feeling better. Once again, great video. Have a wonderful day.”

So get the vaccine, you imbecile.  Oh.  You got the vaccine?  I don’t know.  Wear a mask then.  And stay three feet away from everyone.  And wash your hands for two minutes every day.

What happened to wearing rubber gloves because covid can live on surfaces for two weeks?  Bring the rubber gloves back.  

– “That shirt rules so hard.”

Yeah, this guy is hard alright.

– “COVID? I am Sorry to Hear that. Were you wearing a mask?”

Yeah.  Good question.  I’ll bet that Pam wasn’t wearing a mask.  That’s how she got covid.  The second you take that mask off, you’re taking a gamble with your life.  Is it worth it?  

– “I’m glad you recovered from your sickness.”

What an understatement to call covid a “sickness”.  This is a global pandemic.  The whole world got shut down over this.

– “I need that shirt lol”

Even if it’s infected with covid?  What’s wrong with you?

Everybody is talking about her fucking shirt.  They might be retarded but I’m not.  So I know exactly what they’re talking about.  It’s a codeword for Pam’s tits.  “Nice top/Nice tits”.  We all know this.  Suddenly, everybody is just interested in fashion?  No.

– “My dad sneezed on me last year giving me covid.”

You should have been wearing a mask.

– “You look very pretty Pam! You and Erin Plays are awesome retro video game reviewers!”

This guy has good taste.  Who’s more interesting than Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining or Erin Plays?  

– “Nice shirt! Looking good post covid and thanks for the update”

Yeah.  Do you think that covid made her tits even bigger?  Who knows?  We know so little about the scourge that is coronavirus.  Maybe one of the little-known side-effects is bigger tits.  

2 thoughts on “TMNT, Dark Souls 2, As Dusk Falls, Norco, Cuphead DLC and more summer updates – Cannot be Tamed

  1. Everyone I know except my brother, his girlfriend and myself got the covid vaccine. Everyone I know bar three people also got covid. Want to guess who those three people were?

  2. I don't know. At the very least, it doesn't seem like a very effective vaccine. It's like the flu vaccine, I guess. You have to get it every year because there are always new flu variants that come out. And the vaccine is only for the most common variants that year, so you can still get the flu. Anyway, I never got covid and I wore the world's most useless mask, used public transportation regularly, and live in a city. Maybe what saved me was that that cashier at the grocery store yelling at me to keep six feet away from the person in front of me. I was five feet away at the time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *