Mint Salad Saw High Fidelity (MOVIE REVIEW) – Mint Salad

Mint Salad’s pimp makes Mint Salad do daily videos now.  Daily movie reviews.  They’re entirely unwatchable and they get no views.  This one has been up for a week and it has 159 views.  All of the videos are like this.  

And then you go to her Fansly, and she does “lewds” based on the videos.  So she’ll wear what she was wearing in the videos and spread her legs or bend over or something.

Even with this weird sexual element, nobody is fucking interested.  It’s not being reflected in the view numbers for the Youtube videos, anyway.  

So I chose this video because it’s one of the shorter ones.  Somebody in the comments says, “Do you always get drunk to do movie reviews, or is this a special occasion?”

I think that he’s right.  She’s drunk or high or something.  She seems to be like this in a lot of the videos.

So I watched the video.  There’s nothing really to say.  It’s an impaired woman droning on about a movie.  Poorly.  Really poorly.  She doesn’t know the names of any of the characters.  She often loses her train of thought.  She seems to be struggling to even stay awake.  

How am I going to pad this out?  She’s not saying anything interesting on her Twitter.  I’ll just look for other movies that Jack Black was in.

Bongwater.  Based on a 1995 novel.  In high school, there were some stoner Mexican kids who I knew and for a class game, we broke off into teams and had to come up with a name for our team.  So this group of Mexican kids and myself opted for Bongwater.  I didn’t know what it meant, I didn’t do that shit but that was the name.  And the teacher didn’t know what it meant either so he just laughed at the funny word and went with it.  He was some homosexual priest.  And the guy who came up with the name always laughed hysterically every time this priest said the name of our team.

There was so much weird religious shit at that school.  I wonder if that kind of stuff still goes on.  I hope not, but I suspect that it does.  Nothing against religion but we were taught so much factually incorrect shit outside of religious dogma.

For example, we had like a week of sex education.  Or maybe just a day.  I don’t remember.  And it was our theology teacher doing this.  Not the priest, it was a different theology teacher.  Some old woman.  She was married so it’s not as preposterous that she would teach the class as opposed to a priest.

She starts talking about cars.  If you had a really nice car, how would you protect it?  You’d keep it in the garage.  That was the answer that she wanted.  But we all knew that she was talking about penises.  So she said, “What about just putting a tarp on it?”  This was analogous to using a condom.  And no, obviously you wouldn’t just put a tarp on the car.  Who even does that?  Who puts a tarp on their car?  Every day, you finish driving, you park the car in front of your home, and then you spend fifteen minutes putting a tarp on your car just so that you can spend ten minutes the next morning taking if off again?  Nobody does this.

The obvious car answer is to keep the car in the garage.  I don’t know where that tarp shit came from.  But also, I like using my fancy car.  I like to take it out and impress the ladies.  You can’t just keep it in the garage.  What’s the point of having a fancy car if you can’t enjoy it?  

So the whole exercise was idiotic.  The analogy was poor.

Then she read a story about aliens coming down to earth.  This in itself is sacrilegious but I guess that she didn’t realise it or she just didn’t care.  But in the story, the aliens are studying human sexual behaviour.  Something connected to all of the anal probing that goes on, I guess.  And I remember one particular passage where the aliens are claimed to have written, “The men have one toy on their front and the women have three toys.”  It was such an odd turn of phrase.  

Somehow, we were supposed to be shamed by this.  The point of the story was clearly to shame, I just can’t remember the exact context.  Shaming us for using our “toys”.  Did I mention that we were in high school?  I think the 10th grade.

Then there was another exercise where we were all given slips of paper and they were folded.  We couldn’t read them.  Then we were told to shake hands with whoever we wanted.

After that awkward ordeal, we were told to open slips of paper.  On like three of the papers, the word “AIDS” was written.  So if you shook hands with anybody who either had the “AIDS” paper or shook the hands of somebody else who shook their hand, and so on, then you had AIDS.

It didn’t help that there was one slut who went around and shook every single person’s hand.  

So anyway, the whole class had AIDS at the end of this.  But it’s not even right.  Because I only shook two people’s hands.  I shook some guy’s hand and I shook this girl’s hand.  But I shook both of their hands early on, it was before they shook hands with anybody who had AIDS.  So when it came time to declare if you had AIDS or not, by standing up, I remained seated.  Then the teacher asked me whose hands I shook and I told her, and she said, “No, she shook everybody’s hand so you have AIDS too.”  It’s bullshit.  I shook her hand when she was clean.  But I don’t think that that woman was willing to listen to reason so I just conceded that I had AIDS.

There were also three slips that said “abstinence”.  So for the people who had this slip, when they were shaking hands, they were just…I don’t know…going to the cinema with these people, I guess.  So they didn’t have AIDS.  Those were the only three people who didn’t have AIDS.  

That slip could have just as easily said, “used a condom”.  Wouldn’t that make more sense with this exercise?  But they didn’t want to promote condom use.  

So what happened with AIDS?  Did the whole world end up getting infected with AIDS?  No.  It’s mostly from unprotected gay sex.  This is something that we could have been told.  I’m sure that the data was available at the time.  

How come the world wasn’t shut down over that AIDS global pandemic anyway?  According to my theology teacher, fucking everybody should have had it by now.  Except the people who don’t have sex.  So Reddit might be unaffected.

I was reading about monkey pox.  There was talk, briefly, about shutting the world down again because of monkey pox.  But no.  That’s another disease only spread by gay men fucking each other up the ass.  So it’s something that can be safely avoided just by keeping away from men’s anuses.

I wonder what that teacher is up to nowadays.  Probably 80 years old.  And getting fucked up the ass.

7 thoughts on “Mint Salad Saw High Fidelity (MOVIE REVIEW) – Mint Salad

  1. I'm going to preface this with a vomit disclaimer. So she's doing like actual porn now. She put up a vid of her in the shower and that freak Riley is filming, and (of course) he puts his little 3 inch micro peen in her face and well you can assume the rest.The funny and weird part is she has like bandages or pasties or w.e. over her nips and underwear on. For no real reason. Like, you're literally sucking off your pimp on video, and even at that point of whoreishness you're still covering yourself up? Alright lol. Wouldn't want to really degrade yourself, so better cover up.But yeah, regardless, and it's really predictable since these two are trash, you've got Horseface who is this weird mixture of an attention whoring tease and a prude above doing onlyfans etc, Johanna who apparently just needed some money for a surgery (highly highly suspecting it was for her recent tattoo now) who did cross that barrier and does make “content” like that (despite there being very little and it being almost completely softcore), and then you get to Mint…oh boy. An autistic woman with the mind of a 10 year old who is being exploited and now made to suck ironically the 10 year old size chode of her pimp. Nothing really surprising, but still pretty crazy in only 1+ month. Kinda makes sense she's so messed in the head considering how bad her “sex life” must be on a relationship and mechanical level though. I just think it's really funny it basically took Johanna's influence, or perhaps it's the other way around, for her to start doing this path. You didn't think to do any of this before then for money. Just kinda started out of nowhere recently.

  2. Thanks for the update but be careful not to give these ladies all of your money. You're going to be ordering custom videos soon.And yeah, I found it odd that Johanna got this tattoo. She's completely broke, she has medical bills to pay, she's doing bad porn on the internet…and then she gets a huge tattoo? She can't be too broke.

  3. Ohhhhh believe me my friend, I would never in a million years spend one iota of money lol.If you search hard enough there's places sharing most of this stuff for free, and it's just as awful as I describe. In fact worse actually. They really need to clean the grout in their shower. It's not difficult!The tattoo theory might not be true, but it just seems like the logical explanation of where that money went. Because uh…U.S. medical bills are bullshit high. Had two of my own recently that surprised, and I just do not see how fansly money possibly covered shit.

  4. Based on the way this was written, I almost thought that Jack Black was in a movie based on the 1995 novel Bongwater. But then that doesn't really line up because Jack Black wasn't in movies yet then. Although he was in that one episode of X-Files where he works at an arcade and gains lightning powers. And if I recall he wasn't a drug dealer nor was it set in Portland, Oregon. How many fucking novels are there about drug dealers in Portland anyway? They don't even have drug dealers there. Just a bunch of hipsters who grow their own dope and drink tea that smells like cat shit.

  5. His friend got the lightning powers in that X-Files, and was actually killed by the friend eventually when the guy went powermad lol. I've never seen Bongwater either. It's pretty obscure.

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