Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juUjMR3jRX8

Mint Salad’s pimp makes Mint Salad do daily videos now.  Daily movie reviews.  They’re entirely unwatchable and they get no views.  This one has been up for a week and it has 159 views.  All of the videos are like this.  

And then you go to her Fansly, and she does “lewds” based on the videos.  So she’ll wear what she was wearing in the videos and spread her legs or bend over or something.  

https://fansly.com/titsmintsalad/posts

Even with this weird sexual element, nobody is fucking interested.  It’s not being reflected in the view numbers for the Youtube videos, anyway.  

So I chose this video because it’s one of the shorter ones.  Somebody in the comments says, “Do you always get drunk to do movie reviews, or is this a special occasion?”

I think that he’s right.  She’s drunk or high or something.  She seems to be like this in a lot of the videos.

So I watched the video.  There’s nothing really to say.  It’s an impaired woman droning on about a movie.  Poorly.  Really poorly.  She doesn’t know the names of any of the characters.  She often loses her train of thought.  She seems to be struggling to even stay awake.  

How am I going to pad this out?  She’s not saying anything interesting on her Twitter.  I’ll just look for other movies that Jack Black was in.

Bongwater.  Based on a 1995 novel.  In high school, there were some stoner Mexican kids who I knew and for a class game, we broke off into teams and had to come up with a name for our team.  So this group of Mexican kids and myself opted for Bongwater.  I didn’t know what it meant, I didn’t do that shit but that was the name.  And the teacher didn’t know what it meant either so he just laughed at the funny word and went with it.  He was some homosexual priest.  And the guy who came up with the name always laughed hysterically every time this priest said the name of our team.

There was so much weird religious shit at that school.  I wonder if that kind of stuff still goes on.  I hope not, but I suspect that it does.  Nothing against religion but we were taught so much factually incorrect shit outside of religious dogma.

For example, we had like a week of sex education.  Or maybe just a day.  I don’t remember.  And it was our theology teacher doing this.  Not the priest, it was a different theology teacher.  Some old woman.  She was married so it’s not as preposterous that she would teach the class as opposed to a priest.

She starts talking about cars.  If you had a really nice car, how would you protect it?  You’d keep it in the garage.  That was the answer that she wanted.  But we all knew that she was talking about penises.  So she said, “What about just putting a tarp on it?”  This was analogous to using a condom.  And no, obviously you wouldn’t just put a tarp on the car.  Who even does that?  Who puts a tarp on their car?  Every day, you finish driving, you park the car in front of your home, and then you spend fifteen minutes putting a tarp on your car just so that you can spend ten minutes the next morning taking if off again?  Nobody does this.

The obvious car answer is to keep the car in the garage.  I don’t know where that tarp shit came from.  But also, I like using my fancy car.  I like to take it out and impress the ladies.  You can’t just keep it in the garage.  What’s the point of having a fancy car if you can’t enjoy it?  

So the whole exercise was idiotic.  The analogy was poor.

Then she read a story about aliens coming down to earth.  This in itself is sacrilegious but I guess that she didn’t realise it or she just didn’t care.  But in the story, the aliens are studying human sexual behaviour.  Something connected to all of the anal probing that goes on, I guess.  And I remember one particular passage where the aliens are claimed to have written, “The men have one toy on their front and the women have three toys.”  It was such an odd turn of phrase.  

Somehow, we were supposed to be shamed by this.  The point of the story was clearly to shame, I just can’t remember the exact context.  Shaming us for using our “toys”.  Did I mention that we were in high school?  I think the 10th grade.

Then there was another exercise where we were all given slips of paper and they were folded.  We couldn’t read them.  Then we were told to shake hands with whoever we wanted.

After that awkward ordeal, we were told to open slips of paper.  On like three of the papers, the word “AIDS” was written.  So if you shook hands with anybody who either had the “AIDS” paper or shook the hands of somebody else who shook their hand, and so on, then you had AIDS.

It didn’t help that there was one slut who went around and shook every single person’s hand.  

So anyway, the whole class had AIDS at the end of this.  But it’s not even right.  Because I only shook two people’s hands.  I shook some guy’s hand and I shook this girl’s hand.  But I shook both of their hands early on, it was before they shook hands with anybody who had AIDS.  So when it came time to declare if you had AIDS or not, by standing up, I remained seated.  Then the teacher asked me whose hands I shook and I told her, and she said, “No, she shook everybody’s hand so you have AIDS too.”  It’s bullshit.  I shook her hand when she was clean.  But I don’t think that that woman was willing to listen to reason so I just conceded that I had AIDS.

There were also three slips that said “abstinence”.  So for the people who had this slip, when they were shaking hands, they were just…I don’t know…going to the cinema with these people, I guess.  So they didn’t have AIDS.  Those were the only three people who didn’t have AIDS.  

That slip could have just as easily said, “used a condom”.  Wouldn’t that make more sense with this exercise?  But they didn’t want to promote condom use.  

So what happened with AIDS?  Did the whole world end up getting infected with AIDS?  No.  It’s mostly from unprotected gay sex.  This is something that we could have been told.  I’m sure that the data was available at the time.  

How come the world wasn’t shut down over that AIDS global pandemic anyway?  According to my theology teacher, fucking everybody should have had it by now.  Except the people who don’t have sex.  So Reddit might be unaffected.

I was reading about monkey pox.  There was talk, briefly, about shutting the world down again because of monkey pox.  But no.  That’s another disease only spread by gay men fucking each other up the ass.  So it’s something that can be safely avoided just by keeping away from men’s anuses.

I wonder what that teacher is up to nowadays.  Probably 80 years old.  And getting fucked up the ass.