Ranking the Best and Worst Shoot’em Ups – Cannot be Tamed


Sixty-seven minutes of Pam ranking random shooters.  You have to be out of your mind.  Who’s going to watch this?

Fortunately, she time stamps everything so I can just look at the games that I’m familiar with…which…looks like none of them.  Great.  This could be a short review.

0:00 – “Hi.  I’m Pam.  And I’m wearing a black top.”

Good stuff, Pam.  Really entertaining.

0:15 – She defines “shoot ’em up”.  Who cares?

Wow…this just keeps going.


3:15 – Finally.  What the fuck?  That was the longest three minutes of my life.

Now she’s defining her grading system.  We know all of this.  “S” is the best and “D” is the worst.  You don’t have to go through each one.

4:15 – Finally, she starts talking about the games.  I’m already checked out, though.  So let me look at the timestamps.  

16:15 – She has this one listed as “Cuphead (but not really)”.  She just talks about how she considered putting Cuphead in this list but decided not to.  So…what was the point of this?

21:00 – Galaga.  Great.  I know Galaga.  What does Pam think about Galaga?

She gave it a “B”.  Great.  Most of the games she’s done so far have got “B”s.  No “S” yet.  Pam is a harsh grader.  I’d like to know more about her methodology.  Maybe she can do a separate 45 minute video where she goes more in depth about her Tier Maker grading methodology.

23:00 – Gradius.  I know Gradius.  

She doesn’t like it.  She gives it a “C”.  

41:45 – Parodius.  

She doesn’t like this either.  So it gets a “C”.

Both games are deserve a higher ranking, of course, but who cares?

I think that we’re done.  I might know more of these games but this is brutal.  Who cares about Pam’s opinions on random games?

1:05:15 – “I feel like I was a little stingy with the S’s and the A’s, especially at the start.”

So she noticed her grading was too harsh so started giving stuff higher grades as she went on.  That’s terrible.  This sort of grade inflation.  She has to re-do this whole thing now.  Because if you’re a game at the start of the alphabet (she did this alphabetically) you’re graded more harshly than if you were at the end of the alphabet.  That’s not fair.  I call bullshit on this whole Tier Maker.  It’s totally invalid.  And Pam should have her Tier Maker license revoked.

– “*gives Pam a big hug cuz she seems frazzled”

Pam replies with “???”

The horntard comes back, “Sorry you looked kinda tired and super annoyed with some of those games. Being that I really like your smile and energy when you’re happy, I wanted to help you feel better.”

Absolutely zero awareness.  You’re not going to get a date with this creep show bullshit.

I liked Burai Fighter on Game Boy.  I played that thing loads, even though by modern standards it probably sucks.  People were more easily entertained back then.  I must have beat it a hundred times with no deaths.

Some old, fat guy named Nazmie gives Pam 79.99 ZAR.  What is that?  Let me look this up.

The currency in South Africa.  It’s about five US dollars.

Somebody else gives her $2.  Pam “hearts” these comments where somebody gives her money but doesn’t bother replying.

Let’s check out her Twitter.


She promotes her latest Petee’s Power Hour, where she drones endlessly with other pretentious bitch about wine.  HARD PASS, PAM.  NOBODY is watching this shit.  NOBODY.


Whoa!  Get your tissues ready for this one.  Pam is…I don’t even know.  She put a flip in her hair like this is the 1970s.  And she’s wearing way too much makeup as per usual.  Are we supposed to be jerking off to this?

Well, Erin replies, at least.  “My hair can’t hold a curl either (unless I have extensions in.) I feel your pain. Looks good though!”

Riveting stuff, Erin.  Get a personality.


Pam posts some pictures of her in front of a green screen with some other losers.  She says, “This is either a music video or some kind of weird porn.”  The horntards, predictably, get all excited.  

If you’re jerking off to any of that, you have some real problems.


She took her dog/lover to the vet for some vaccine.  What the fuck?  What vaccine?  Do dogs get vaccines?  Especially an old dog?  She was getting her third covid booster, I guess.  

And then Pam complains about the local election results.  Some conservative party won the election and Pam doesn’t care much for that.  It makes absolutely no difference who wins but people like to pretend.  Makes them feel like they have some purpose in their lives.

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