Erin Plays and Mike Matei check out Pac-Man Museum + on Switch! (part 4 of 6)

The continuing saga of Erin Lies.

Previous parts:

44:45 – They’re going back to Pac-Land because the horntards explained how to use that spring board.

Mike: You do it.  You’re Mrs Pac-Land.

Erin: (unconvinced) Yeah.  That’s me.

She played it ONCE.  YEARS AGO.  For a Youtube video.  And she didn’t have a fucking clue what she was doing.

Then Erin says, “Apparently not because I forgot how to do that part.”

“Forgot”.  The issue, as I’ve explained a billion times already, is that Erin only played the game a single time in her life, briefly, for a Youtube video.  Why can’t she just say it?

46:00 – The horntards ask what Erin thinks about the Genesis Mini 2.  Erin says, “Oh, I like briefly saw something — oh!  Does that flower do anything?  I don’t remember that.  Umm…well, at first I thought it was a Sega CD mini but it’s not.  It’s a new — it’s called the Sega Mega Drive Mini 2 and then you get the Sega CD add on for it, which is kind of cute.  But right now it’s only in Japan.  Umm.  I don’t know.  I mean, there’s Sega CD games that are going to be on there, which is kind of cool.”

This is awful.  She didn’t know what it was.  She thought that it looked cute.  And she likes that there are going to be Sega CD games on there but she didn’t name a single game because she doesn’t know any.  

Who the fuck would give an answer like this?  She didn’t mention a single fucking game.  

46:30 – “I would have loved all of this like eight years ago when I didn’t have, like, all of the stuff.  When I was like mostly only doing HDMI stuff.”

She’s talking about how she would have liked to have this thing so that she can more easily play the game on stream, for money.  Because this is the only way that she plays video games.  Everything has to be on stream, for money.  

“I think it’s cool, though.  It’s easier for more people to play the games.”

What games?  Name a single game that you like which is on this thing.  She doesn’t fucking know any.  It’s obvious.

Mike doesn’t respond to any of this.  He knows that this is a terrible answer.  These are the only sort of answers that Erin can give.

47:15 – Then Erin dies and doesn’t understand what happened.  It’s because she ran out of time.  She must have “forgotten” about the timer.  Erin “always” “forgets” about the timer in Pac-Land.

48:15 – A horntard asks if Erin plays on real hardware or emulation.  Erin says, “I normally play on real hardware.”  This is a reference to her streams, of course.  She does not play games in her spare time at all.

Erin got a quick game over, by the way.

Then she gives an exception.  “Unless, for example, I’m playing like Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance.”

It’s a reference to a game that she recently streamed.  This is all about streaming.  She can’t even comprehend the concept of playing games in her spare time.

48:30 – Then Mike says something weird, in a falsetto voice, about how the only real hardware is a PCB board and “I call you out.  You are a liar.”

None of this even makes sense.  She wasn’t even talking specifically about arcade games.  Of all the things to call Erin out for, this wasn’t it.

You know what I’ve noticed?  Erin never jumps over these ghosts.  She doesn’t realise that you can jump on their heads and it won’t kill you.  You can just ride on their heads if you want.  It’s fine.  This is something that you figure out the first time you play the fucking game.  I guess that Erin “always” “forgets” that you can jump on the ghosts’ heads in Pac-Land and it won’t kill you.

Here’s another interesting observation, since Erin is incapable of providing any.  In the Turbo Grafx version of the game, these “break time” buildings at the end of the level have a cross on them.  They’re obviously supposed to be churches.  But in this version, there’s no cross.  I don’t know if that’s also the case with the arcade version of this game or they specifically took the cross out for this compilation.

51:15 – Erin is at this springboard.  She dies.  Mike says, “No, d-pad” as she plunges into the water.

Then she hands the controller over to Mike who immediately dies.  GG, faggot.  Even Erin did better than that.

51:45 – A horntard said something about a video game that Mike recently streamed and Erin said, “That’s cool.”

53:45 – A horntard asks, “When are you going on Talk About Games?” and Erin says, “Well, they don’t have guests.”

That would be something special if Erin was on there.  She always performs so wonderfully in these situations.  There was that Rental Reviews that she did, Talking About Tapes, and she had an interview with John Hancock.  Let me see if I can find my reviews.

I don’t think that my Rental Reviews article survived but here are her Talking About Tapes and John Hancock interview:

That John Hancock interview is something special.  That’s a real Erin Plays deep cut.  Why the fuck did she agree to do that?  She had to have known that it would have gone horribly.  He asked her about video games and she doesn’t fucking know anything about that topic.

54:30 – “Look at all of the flowers.”

Why is Erin surprised by that?  Doesn’t she remember this scene?  It appears every time you beat the first three levels of a stage.  She must have seen this hundreds of times.  Maybe thousands.  I know that I have because I’ve actually played the game.

55:30 – “Oh, look at that little fairy.”

See previous comment.

“Oh look.  They’re throwing their babies out the window.”

Once again.  Why doesn’t Mrs Pac-Land know any of this?  Why is this all new to her?  Because she played the game one time, years ago, for a Youtube video.

“Oh my god.  I forgot about the double decker bus.”

How?  See previous comments on this subject.

56:30 – They’re moving on to Pac and Pal.  Should I stop here?  No, let’s include Pac and Pal.  This series will never end if I stop every ten minutes.

57:15 – “Have I looked at Eternal?  No.  It’s a rogue-like that Mike would like.”

I’m surprised that Erin was unfamiliar with the game.  

Hey, retards, if she hasn’t played it on stream, for money, or done a Youtube video of it, she doesn’t know it.  And even if she has streamed the game or done a video on it, there’s a good chance that she doesn’t remember it.

58:45 – A horntard asks which ghost colour is the cutest.  This is fucking pathetic.

She says the orange one because it looks like a Creamsicle.  Stick a Creamsicle up your ass, you fucking imbecile.

1:00:15 – ShiShi says that Erin had about 30 viewers two years ago and now she has about 300.  Erin says, “That’s rare that I get this high.  It’s because he’s here” and she points to…Mike?

1:01:45 – Mike makes Erin play this.  She unconvincingly says, “I’m excited.  So I haven’t played Pac and…Pal?”  

The title isn’t on screen at the moment so she struggled to remember the name.

Erin is complaining about how she can’t even navigate the maze.  Then Mike says, “Try turning early.  Like hitting the direction a second before.”  Erin does this and is able to navigate the maze.  She says, “Okay.  I see.”

She never played Pac-Man before.  It’s ridiculously obvious.  She can’t even navigate the fucking mazes.

1:03:30 – A horntard asks if Erin even played Gargoyle’s Quest.  Erin says, “I have, briefly, but never on stream.”

I…what?  I need more information.  Please elaborate, Erin.

Oh.  There was some sort of confusion.  Erin wasn’t sure what Gargoyle’s Quest is.  She thought it was a different game.  Erin “always” “forgets” what Gargoyle’s Quest is.

1:06:00 – “I’m horrible at this.  Why?”

I have a few theories.  They mostly revolve around the fact that you’ve never played a video game in your spare time in your life.

1:07:30 – A horntard says, “There are like 30 Star Wars movies and there are only 3 Indiana Jones Movies.”  Erin replies, “That’s right.”

But it isn’t.  A rare gap in Erin’s knowledge.  

There are the three classic Indiana Jones movies, of course.  But then there was Crystal Skull.  And wasn’t there another one recently?  

No but one is forthcoming.  

And what about Young Indiana Jones?  I know that it was a tv show but weren’t there movies too?

Yeah.  Four television movies.  

I don’t think that I’ve ever watched this.  Let me check the intro.  Maybe it will jog my memory.

No, I don’t remember this at all.  So I probably didn’t watch it.

1:08:00 – Mike starts talking about somebody having a broken arm.  Harrison Ford, I think, or maybe the character Indiana Jones.  I have no idea what he’s talking about.  Neither does Erin but unlike Erin, I’m not pretending to know what Mike is talking about.  I’m just coming out with the truth.  Mike, I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.  What’s so hard about that?  I’m not going to sit here and pretend to know what Mike is talking about.  Make weird, generic comments.

Anyway, Erin says that she likes Pac and Pal.  In spite of the fact that she was terrible at it and had no idea what was going on.  Interesting.  

Now Erin is looking around the room for something.  Her wrist brace?  Is that where we’re going now?

1:10:45 – Erin is now placing some furniture in this arcade area.  She placed her Clyde statue in the wrong orientation because she’s so unfamiliar with video games that she didn’t realise that you have to turn it.  It showed on screen the buttons you need to press to rotate the item.  But she doesn’t know anything about these basic video game concepts.  So now the visitors to this arcade are going to only get a profile view of Clyde.

1:12:15 – “I’m going to take a short break and then…will I come back for some Pac-Man for a little bit?”

She’s asking Mike.  I think that that she wants him to say “no”.  This is a hint.  She doesn’t want to do this.

I’ll stop here.  I’m still not even halfway done.  Well, nobody else is uploading anything.  So a nine part series on an Erin Plays video.  Why not?  And if something does happen, say, Newt gets nominated for an Eisner Award for Florida Man Saves Christmas, I can just interrupt this Erin Plays series.

2 thoughts on “Erin Plays and Mike Matei check out Pac-Man Museum + on Switch! (part 4 of 6)

  1. How did Erin even catch carpal tunnel to begin with? It's not like she ever played video games or extensively used a computer for her job. Was it from taking LPs out of their covers?

  2. She actually says that she got carpal tunnel syndrome from using her phone too much. And she says that she's had carpal tunnel syndrome since her early 20s. It's obviously complete bullshit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *