The Second Death of Normal Boots – Pelvic Gaming

Normal Boots is like an all-star team of retro video game “Youtubers” who you’ve never heard of before.  The original incarnation consisted of: PeanutButterGamer, Did You Know Gaming. The Completionist. ProJared, Continue?, and Satchell Drakes.  Then the team disbanded because ProJared…let’s just say that there was a scandal.  Don’t make me think of that picture again.

Fifteen months later, a new crew assembled.  This time it was: PeanutButterGamer, Did You Know Gaming, The Completionist, Chadtronic, Pelvic Gamer, and Proton Jon.  People were pumped.  YEAH!  Normal Boots is back!  They’re going to talk about video games!  I love video games!

Then they played Minecraft.  And a little more Minecraft.  Then there was a video on ranking the Mario Kart items.  Then a video on some Pokemon movie.  Then back to Minecraft.  Then more Minecraft.  Then a couple more videos on Mario.  Then a video on a cancelled Metroid movie.

Then they decided to go back into retirement.  The re-launched channel lasted less than five months.  

What went wrong?  Well, a literal 16 part series on Minecraft probably didn’t help.  Pelvic Gamer was in at least some of these videos and she admitted to never playing the game before.  I couldn’t watch this shit.  It was just a bunch of camp gay men and Pelvic Gamer screaming like girls and playing this game for children.  

They also did Tiermaker videos.  Painful stuff.  A bunch of GIANT nerds talking about video game minutia, they’re all in front of weird greenscreen backgrounds, and there’s OCD editing.  Just edits every three seconds.  Don’t linger on the same nerd for too long.  Keep switching to a different nerd.  Every three seconds.  And look at that zany 1980s background.  This is what people want to watch.

Really, the relaunch of the channel only lasted two months.  It went from 19 May 2021 to 21 July 2021.  They released videos regularly during that two month period, even though the vast majority of it was low-effort, unwatchable Minecraft shit.

But then, over two months later, they released a video wherein Pelvic Gamer talked about some cancelled Metroid movie from 2005.  This is something that they would do a few times.  Their “content” seemed to consist of horrible Minecraft videos, lost/forgotten/cancelled tv and movie projects related to video games, and video game Tiermaker shit.

So here’s their final video.  It’s just Pelvic Gamer talking about this cancelled Metroid movie.  It’s boring as fucking shit but I don’t know.  If you’re interested in Metroid maybe you’d find this interesting.  Maybe not.  It certainly doesn’t have mainstream appeal, though.  I consider myself something of a mainstream viewer.  I play video games and all but…I’m not really interested in this shit.  I’m not reading the “gaming” news sites and looking forward to new games and whatnot.  I also don’t care about the nerdy details about video games.  “Ooh, what does (some Japanese guy I’ve never heard of who looks like an old woman) have to say about the possibility of a Metroid movie?”  I don’t give a fuck.

The videos got about 45,000 views, on average.  That’s pretty good.  Way more than Pelvic Gamer gets.  She averages about 10,000.  But what about PeanutButter Gamer?  Yeah, he’s getting about 250,000 views on average.

So it just wasn’t worth his time, I guess.  God, that guy is super gay.  Just look at these thumbnails.  He’s not just a little gay, he’s massively gay.  This is Richard Simmons levels of homosexuality.

And the videos themselves…oh my god.  It’s unwatchable.  Nobody over the age of 8 is watching this shit.  He’s catering to toddlers. No exaggeration.  

Wasn’t there something about Youtube planning to demonetise videos aimed at children that aren’t somehow educational?  If this guy got demonetised, that would be fantastic.  No more spending $1000 on shitty Nintendo toys just to to make an awful video.  He’d have to go out and get a job like a normal person.  Let’s see how much he can spend on shitty toys when he’s working at Applebee’s.

But yeah, Pelvic Gamer has seemed to largely given up on her channel.  Her last video is from a month ago but it’s been like this for quite a while.  Just lame, formulaic, zero-effort videos.

The reason I started watching her videos in the first place is because she would do weird shit like go to a nerd convention, dress up like a man, and say that she was going to seduce herself.  Or she would give “sexy” Valentine’s Day advice to the horntards.  Or she would put a toddler’s train costume on and pretend that the front of the costume was a giant phallus.

What happened to that content?  That’s what we want to see.  A delusional woman in blue lipstick thinking that she’s some hot chick and doing insane things.  

But no.  Instead, we get cookie cutter videos reviews on JRPGs.  Not interested.  I finally had to take her off of Mount Gamer Grrls.  It was just endless.  These endless boring as fuck videos.

And then you go to her Twitter hoping for some craziness there and no.  It’s just video games.  Everything is about video games.  She never talks about anything other than video games.

Retro Ali does the same thing.  It’s boring as fuck.  Get a personality, ladies.  Go fucking do something with your lives so that you have something to write about.

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