https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ8gmDd2zis
I haven’t started the video yet. It was just released ten minutes ago. I checked out what the boys on Reddit were saying first.
“Who actually likes these? Why do these keep getting made?” is the top comment. I laughed for about five minutes. It’s true. It’s totally baffling why these keep getting made.
But I’m going to approach this differently. Yes, we know that it’s going to be bad. But it’s only bad in the sense that nobody wants this kind of “content” from Jimmy Rolfe. It just doesn’t make sense. Why is he making music videos?
The short answer is that he’s mentally challenged. But I’m not going to try to answer this. I’m going to watch this video and compare it to other music videos. I’m going to compare the song to other songs. Where does this rank in the pantheon of songs that I’ve heard? And I’m also going to make allowances for the fact that this is a fucking Youtube novelty band. You can’t expect Lynrd Skynrd levels of musicianship.
It’s an autistic man and he’s trying to entertain. So let’s give him a chance.
0:00 – There’s an animated Tiger Electronics handheld doing a training montage in a boxing gym. Did they get this from somewhere or did they make it? If they made it, it’s remarkably good. This is the best special effect ever seen in a Cinemassacre video. So we’re off to a good start.
They made the game like a Rex Viper game. Again, this is very good. I’m impressed with the special effects. Usually, the special effects are complete shit but I’m not going to focus on the negative. This particular video has good special effects.
Jimmy was talking about these Tiger handheld games while the music was playing. I don’t know if this is reused footage from an AVGN video or if it’s new. I think it’s new.
0:45 – Oh. Now we’re at the bad greenscreen. This is…well. Let me explain what I’m seeing. The band is in Africa. But it’s just a greenscreen, of course. They’re not actually in Africa. That would be ridiculous.
They’re not even in the same fucking room. This was all done separately. Everybody recorded their greenscreen footage separately and then Jimmy spent 100 hours putting this together. And for what?
No. Wrong attitude. They’re making a music video. Yes, it’s bad. But how many music videos are good? I haven’t seen any that I actually wanted to see again. It’s just something to watch while the music is playing. It’s filler. The important thing is the music. So I won’t mention these awful CGI tigers.
The singer is singing almost in falsetto. I made this same observation in a previous video. But the original singer sang in a high voice too. So at least it fits.
1:00 – Oh god. I was so distracted by the bad CGI tiger that I didn’t even see Jimmy. He’s in a Karate Kid headband and showing off his wicked tattoo. This is just cosplay.
1:15 – God, these tigers are really distracting. See. This is a legitimate complaint. I shouldn’t be distracted by the video. The video can be neutral but this is bad. And so bad that it’s distracting.
Then Jimmy makes a weird face and mimes some of the lyrics. Why? He’s not the singer.
1:30 – Justin is playing a Tiger handheld game and then gets scared by the REALLY BAD CGI tiger behind him. It’s just drawing attention to how fucking awful this greenscreen shit is.
1:45 – They show the Rex Viper Tiger handheld game again. Jimmy is the biggest person on this thing. No, that’s bad phrasing. Jimmy’s image is bigger than anyone else’s image. By far. And he’s the fucking third guitarist. His part is completely superfluous.
You need a lead singer. You need a lead guitarist. You need a bass guitarist. You need a drummer. So that’s those four guys. The four guys who actually have some musical experience.
Then you have Justin doing backing vocals. Not needed but nevertheless, it’s still more important than Jimmy’s role.
Very few bands have three guitarists. If you’re going to cut anyone from the band, Jimmy would be the first to go. He’s not needed. Even if he knew how to play the guitar, the role is not needed. And yet, Jimmy is the star of this novelty Youtube band.
Don’t these other guys have any self-respect? They’re taking a back seat to an autistic man who can’t even play the fucking instrument.
2:00 – Justin Silverman’s vest in this game has an iron cross on it. I assume that he was being “ironic” when he agreed to this.
Then there’s more footage of Jimmy, of course. He’s the star of this thing. And he takes some clothes off to reveal a tiger print shirt. Let’s hope that he doesn’t take anything else off.
2:15 – There’s a close up of this eight string guitar. He kept hyping this like anybody gives a fuck.
Now, I don’t know anything about playing the guitar but from what I just saw, he was only strumming one string. Maybe two. So why the fuck did we need those other six or seven strings? Why was a normal five string guitar not enough to do this?
God, these tigers are so distracting. Fuck this green screen. I don’t even know what the solution is because these guys don’t even live near to Jimmy. Just don’t make the videos. There’s your answer.
2:30 – Oh, Justin’s actual vest has an iron cross on it too.
2:45 – After awkward emoting from the singer where he opened his mouth really wide and morphed into a bad CGI tiger, we get Mega Man…doing something. Mega Man was a part of this all along but I didn’t see the connection. And I still don’t.
I think that they’re playing a Mega Man theme. I’ve never really played any of the games so I’m not familiar with the songs.
They show this training montage of the Tiger handheld at the gym a lot. This thing must have cost them a lot to have done so they’re trying to get their money’s worth.
4:45 – This has been the longest four minutes and forty five seconds of my life. I just want this to end. I’m embarrassed for everyone involved in this.
5:00 – Really weird guitar playing. There’s a close up of somebody’s hands. Jimmy’s, I guess. Again, I don’t know anything about the guitar but I don’t think that this is how that instrument is meant to be played.
Now there’s a really bad dancing CGI tiger. There were also puppet Game Boy and Tiger handhelds in a boxing ring. The idea is that if you have a Game Boy, what do you need with Tiger handhelds? I think that this is something that Jimmy raised in the Tiger handheld AVGN video.
Now there’s greenscreen lava. Why? Why is it suddenly lava?
Then it mercifully ends. I couldn’t even understand the lyrics in the last minute or so. But yeah, there was no big climax. It just ended. But I welcomed the end.
What can I say? The guy is able to sing. I guess. The music sounded like the thing that they were trying to play. And…if you ignore all of the bad shit, this was good.
But the original question remains. Who actually likes these and why do they keep getting made?
Well, I’ll say this. Nathan Barnatt has numerous songs on his site. Similar thing. Here’s one of his several play lists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jw3R8la4SI&list=PLQgsNLuSfHjXlyyfaacszTHBGoMSqZ6N2
Now, I watch these videos and I think, “This is fucking idiotic. I don’t want to watch this shit.”
But he’s done DOZENS of these. And read the comments. People are into this.
I can go to any random video on Nathan Barnatt’s channel and my reaction is exactly the same: “This is dogshit, he’s not funny, he has no talent, and I don’t want to watch this.” But read the comments. He’s making money from this. People are obviously watching. They’re enjoying this trash.
So there’s no accounting for taste. Yes, I think that these Rex Viper videos are unbelievably bad. And all of the gay men on Reddit think that these Rex Viper videos are unbelievably bad. Maybe most people watching these Rex Viper videos think that they’re unbelievably bad.
But there are people watching this and enjoying it. And Jimmy Rolfe thinks that these are good videos. He likes doing them. It’s his channel. I think. So he can release as much trash “content” as he wants.
When you get down to it, the man is mentally retarded. Are we going to sit here and mock a mentally retarded man?
He’s doing his thing, it’s god awful, but what are you going to do? We’re making fun of a retard. This guy wants a buffalo to literally take a shit on his face. How much can we expect from him?
So anyway, the band will be playing live in October at some nerd convention. Hopefully somebody records it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aJFSpkxjtY