https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAtDa9RtEmc
1:15 – She starts the tour, oddly, with her girlfriend’s office. Her girlfriend is a 300+ pound American woman.
1:30 – There’s an old cellar in this room. She says that it’s been “filled in”. I guess that means that concrete has been poured into this cellar. Why would anyone do that? It sounds like a red flag to me. Let me DuckDuckGo this.
Yeah, people seem to say that cellars get filled in because of extreme damp or rot or something. Maybe corpses.
Why else would anyone do this? Why would somebody say, “You know what? We have too many rooms. We have too much storage space. Let’s pour several tonnes of concrete into one of our rooms”?
There has to be a serious structural problem to resort to that. Like the house is going to cave in on itself if you don’t fill this room with concrete.
Then she shows you this filled in cellar. It’s dilapidated, she says that it stinks, and she says that she’s afraid to go down there. But she says that it’s good storage space. Who would want to put stuff in such a place? It’s probably loaded with spiders and whatnot as well.
This room is also very small but it’s an office…whatever that means…so…I assume that this is like a bedroom. It’s like a boxroom. This is a concept that I don’t think exists in the US but a boxroom is a bedroom that’s so tiny that it only fits a double bed or a single bed and a little dresser. These rooms are so small that you often have to shimmy in along the wall in order to enter or leave.
Then she shows the problems with the paint job in this room and the radiator and the wood trimming. Also a broken lock. Seem to be a lot of problems. How much was this place?
Now that I get a better look at the room, it’s bigger than a box room. But not by much.
3:30 – Now she’s showing the kitchen. She warns you that kitchens in the UK are smaller than their US counterparts. That’s true, of course.
Ummm…no. This is maybe the smallest kitchen I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve lived in London, where the properties are very small, and I’ve never seen a kitchen this small. This is ridiculous.
You can stand in the middle of this kitchen and have access to everything in the room.
The tap/faucet (she actually uses both words…they don’t say “faucet” in the UK) looks to be plastic. I’ve never seen that before.
You can also see dilapidated brickwork in the view from the window of this tiny kitchen.
She says that this brickwork is for an outhouse. What? Oh. That’s where the gas and electric meters and whatnot are going to go. I guess. So there’s no toilet in there. At least any more.
4:30 – This is the bedroom. She says this in a seductive manner and then you just think of this woman and her 300+ pound girlfriend and…come on. Let’s try to keep this classy.
She points out that she likes the doors. They are nice. They’re really old-fashioned. I don’t know if that’s a style choice or they’re genuinely really old. But they’re probably, like everything else in this house…how to put this. Is there another word for “dilapidated”? Decrepit. That’s a good one.
This room seems a reasonable size. Again, by British standards, of course.
5:30 – Bathroom. Again, this is tiny. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a big bathroom in the UK, though. They’re all the same size. They only fit a bathtub, toilet, and sink. In many cases, they omit the bathtub for one of those shitty shower units.
This particular bathroom has both a bathtub and a shitty shower unit. I’ve never seen this before. The boiler is also in there. Again, I’ve never seen the boiler in the bathroom. She doesn’t show the boiler, presumably because that little closet that houses the boiler is in a bad state.
It seems like a bad idea to have the boiler in the same room as the bathroom. Moisture and whatnot. I don’t know.
The bathtub is broken…I mean…I don’t even know if it can hold water. And she says that she wants to get rid of the shower unit because it’s dirty or old fashioned or…something. She gave a couple of reasons.
6:15 – She says that the property has been empty for quite some time. People weren’t interested.
7:15 – She shows the living room. This is ridiculous. It’s tiny and has a tiny filled in fireplace in it.
By the way, she started with the office because that seems to be the first room that you enter as you enter the property. Actually, the kitchen is technically the first room but it barely counts as a room.
Here’s some interesting trivia. Kitchens in the US used to be the largest room in the house and they would be the first room that you entered as you entered a property. But after World War II, the returning soldiers wanted more male-focused properties so properties started to be built where the living room was the first room that you entered and the living room was the biggest room of the house.
Anyway, let’s look at this tiny living room. It has a filled in fireplace, as I’ve mentioned. This is pretty common in the UK. Older properties have these weird filled in fireplaces. Newer places don’t.
Again, it’s one of the smallest living rooms I’ve ever seen.
It’s not like I was living in some amazing places. I lived in complete dives. But this place is tiny. I don’t even know what this property is. She describes it as a “house” but is it the entire house or is it a flat in a house? Like what they’ll do in this shit country is take a former family home and then divide it into two or four or however many apartments. Is that what this is?
8:30 – She shows some damp damage on the wall. There’s also another door to the outside in this room. I just don’t know what this is. They seem to be on the ground floor. And the property seems to be two stories. So…is it just a small house? A cottage? A semi-detached house?
A semi-detached house is a concept that I’m not sure exists in the US but it’s huge in the UK. It’s a row of houses all right next to each other. So you have a shared wall with your neighbour. It’s just as shit as it sounds. It’s like living in an apartment. You can hear everything that’s going on next door.
10:00 – She shows the “lounge” or something, which is actually the second bedroom. It’s pretty small.
There’s also an attic that she didn’t show. It’s an attic that you need a ladder to get into. She didn’t show it but she plans to put video games in there. Or something.
Now, I’m not here to shit on anyone’s home but THIS is the place that she was boasting about all over town. It’s a fucking dump. Even by British standards.
Maybe she was a cash buyer and this is all she could afford. I mean, can you get a mortgage as a “Youtuber”? Maybe her girlfriend has a job but can you get a joint mortgage on a lesbian girlfriend basis? Maybe this is a ridiculous question. Maybe any two people can get a joint mortgage. I don’t know.
People in the comments make euphemistic remarks like the house is “charming” and “quite a lot of work to do there.” So it’s not just me.
Anyway, it was mildly interesting. I enjoy the home tours.