Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yPInbLTuBg

0:00 – “I really hope that you enjoyed that Rex Viper music video that we did.”

Umm…

0:15 – “That was a lot of work and everything to do all of those effects but I’m so happy we did that.”

Jimmy never seems to understand what people are looking for.  NOBODY cares about the special effects that Jimmy puts in the videos.  Emphasis on “special”.  But he’ll make comments like this regularly.  “Oh, it took six months to make the garbage can explode in the AVGN Movie.”  Yeah.  And it looks like shit and nobody cared anyway.

I mean, what the fuck?  Has a single person commented on the special effects in these Rex Viper videos?  They look bad.  REALLY bad.  But that’s beside the point.  Not a single person cares about the special effects, good or bad.

In the AVGN videos, he always wants to do skits.  He thinks that skits are what’s bringing in the views.  No.  The videos were popular DESPITE the skits.  NOBODY likes the skits and they never have.  

How can one person make this many bad decisions?  I know that he’s mentally retarded or has autism or whatever but come on.  He has a normal functioning wife.  Why is she not helping him?  It’s in her own interests that his Youtube “career” is successful.

0:30 – He mentions a Cinemassacre podcast.  “That’s right.  I said a Cinemassacre podcast.  It will be starting soon, in August, and I’m really excited about filming with these guys again (Justin and Kieran) in person.  It’s going to happen.”

Another horrible decision.  Is this going to be like The Overanalyzers where he talked about poop in every episode or like Rental Reviews where he awkwardly read from a script in every episode?

Here’s my two part series where I document every poop reference in Overanalyzers:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/every-reference-to-excrement-in.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/every-reference-to-excrement-in_29.html

0:45 – But first a word from our sponsor: some predatory lender.  No thanks, James.  I’d rather go to the local organised crime loan shark down the street.  I’d get a better interest rate and the there’s something to be said about the personal touch.

Let me DuckDuckGo this shit.  Here’s the first result:

https://www.reddit.com/r/roosterteeth/comments/nfn4zi/do_not_get_a_personal_loan_with_upstart/

Who the fuck is taking financial advice from James Rolfe anyway?  

1:45 – “And now take it away, guys, and I’ll be working on this nerd episode.”

Wait…what?  First of all, Jimmy doesn’t work on the “nerd” episodes.  All he does is read the script that Justin and/or Kieran wrote.  Poorly.  

But then he cuts away to Justin and Kieran in the podcast studio.  So…this is going to be a video of Justin and Kieran talking.  Why was Jimmy in this at all then?  Just to trick us to watch?

See, here’s the thing.  People don’t like being made a fool of.  Did Jimmy not know that?  Did Jimmy not know that people don’t appreciate being tricked into watching a video.

Why not be honest with the viewers?  Just have Justin and Kieran doing this video from the start.  Sure, the boys on Reddit would rage but they’re going to rage at this bullshit too.  

Personally, I would have no problem with a video of Justin and Kieran.  My issue is the blatant dishonesty of this video.  Although, this is a man who just shilled for a predatory loan company.

So then they start looking at “themes”.  Maybe I’m not the target demographic but I had no fucking idea what they were talking about at first.  I thought that they were going to listen to music.  No this is…like…wallpaper and different icons and shit.  

I don’t have a PS4 so I don’t really get it.  I think that some games that I’ve played have different themes that you can use but I never do that.  And Windows probably has something like this but again, I don’t do it.  

3:15 – Kieran wants to look at a theme of a guy defecating.  Yeah.  I’m not interested in this stuff.  I’m an adult.  

I’m at 4:30.  They’re just looking at stupid pictures.  What’s the point of this?  How much can they even say about this topic?  “This one’s bad.  Now look at this one.  It’s also bad.  And this one’s bad too.”

5:15 – Kieran said “neato” in a non-ironic fashion.  Is he Theodore Cleaver?

They have that AVGN imitation Funco thing in the background.  I’ve resorted to pointing out things in the background ala Erin Plays.  Thus is the complete dearth of anything to talk about in this shit video.  

9:00 – There’s a theme for $100 and at first they mock it but then they see that the creator allegedly donates a portion of the proceeds to veterans.  So Kieran says, “Oh, okay.  So that’s not funny.”

What a bootlicker.  This veneration of the military that one finds in the US is really worrying.  You maybe see this shit in China and Russia and some former Soviet republics that have crooked totalitarian governments.  You saw it in the fascist South American countries that were propped up by the US.  You saw it in fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, et cetera.  What does it say that the US is in the same company as these countries?  

I understand why the people at the top push this agenda but why do the people at the bottom buy into it?  “Thank you for your service”, free pancakes at IHOP, Kieran refusing to say anything even remotely critical of the military.  

This all started with the first Gulf War.  Prior to that, we’re talking about the Vietnam era, when the military was massively unpopular.  People didn’t want to be drafted into an unjust war.

But starting with the first Gulf War, the military became heroes.  And there was no draft.  “But wait a minute, isn’t the Gulf War unjust?”  Yeah, but only poor people are doing the fighting now.  There’s no draft.  So let’s give them free pancakes when they come back and thank them for their service.

Then with 9/11, that was it.  No more dissent allowed.  No critical thinking allowed.  They’re heroes.  So we can send them to kill and be killed in as many unjust wars for oil as we want.

I never bought into it, not even as a kid.  I remember my school would bring in soldiers once in a while and they’d give a little talk about Iraq and then we had to shake their hand.  And this one asshole made a comment about how I need to eat more.  Go fuck yourself.  

What were these people doing in the schools?  What are we learning from this?  It was just military propaganda.  Portraying these people as heroes.

I don’t have any problem with people who were in the military but these aren’t heroes.  These are people who had few options usually due to poverty.  They didn’t want to work at Jiffy Lube so they thought that the military was a better option.  It isn’t but this is what they thought.

What about that is heroic?   What’s heroic about carpet bombing a country?  What’s heroic about sitting in an air-conditioned office in Virginia while operating drones?  What’s heroic about propping up billion dollar, multi-national petroleum corporations?  

But people buy this shit.  I don’t get it.  Are they just really simple?  I mean, I’m not some kind of a super genius.  How stupid do you have to be to blindly swallow this tripe?  

What has the military ever done for Kieran?  How does dropping bombs on the heads of people from a third world country in any way protect his freedom to make really bad AVGN videos?  Were the people in Iraq trying to take away his precious poop jokes?  

But these are heroes.  Can’t say anything negative about the military.  Sure, some scammer is using the military to drive up sales of his shitty PS4 theme but we can’t criticise that.  It’s the military.  These are heroes.

Fuck you, you braindead fuck.

Justin says, “I might buy that.  Help the veterans out.  Have an awesome theme for my Playstation.”

Kieran says, “It has George Washington.  It looks like he’s going to fuck some shit up.”

These are complete morons.  

What we need to do is bring back conscription.  The veneration of the military would end on that day.  Of course, these fat fucks wouldn’t pass the physical but if we got back to everybody having to join the military, instead of just the completely impoverished, it becomes more real.  It’s not about fucking shit up and freedom fries and America rulez, it’s about your fat ass being sent thousands of miles away, to some shithole, to get shot at.

So that’s the video.  Complete dogshit.

Let’s see what the boys on Reddit have to say.

Top comment is talking about that scumbag loan company.

Then we descend to “memes” and talking about the official Cinemassacre Reddit.  Get over it, you fucking idiots.  They’re talking about ONE person who they don’t like over there.  

People fighting with Justin.  This is boring.  These people are so easily riled up.  They’re talking about how the podcast sucks.  Justin, rightly, says “This isn’t the podcast.”  So then they start talking about why he even comes here.  It’s true, I guess.  Why would anyone want to talk to these ignoramuses?

Oh, here’s a relevant comment:

– “If anyone bothered watching even 10 seconds before f the video they’d realize this isn’t the first podcast by any means. First off, James is going to be in the podcasts, second the title doesn’t say podcast at all, third, they said multiple times it was to test the lighting and mics and cameras on the set. I agree with a lot on this sub but my god this is fishing for attention”

It’s true.  

Someone theorises that this video was only produced because they have an obligation to shill for these companies every so often.  That’s probably true.  I mean, the video was completely pointless.  This would explain things.

Not a single comment on the worrying historical trend of military worship in the US.  You only get that kind of highbrow discussion here at Gamer Grrls.