https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1404215866699534342
Father’s Day cards are always depressing to me because they are SO cliche and low effort. Tools! Lawn mowers! Beer! Meanwhile, my dad likes computers and Disney Parks so I usually just end up making a card but still. Can we please start giving dads better options in 2021?
She makes cards. Like she’s ten years old. I mean, she doesn’t have a job so it kind of makes sense. She’s stuck in some weird perpetual childhood.
But yeah, a lot of guys are interested in tools and lawn care and alcohol. Not that I think a card glorifying alcohol consumption is appropriate for a Father’s Day card. Does such a thing even exist? Let me look…
I’m not seeing anything like that. I mean, there are some disgusting cards about flatulence and obesity and testicles but I’m not seeing anything about alcohol. Or tools or lawn mowers for that matter.
Oh, now I’m seeing some about alcohol. Yeah, it’s stupid but I don’t think that these cards are dominating the market. From a quick search, it seems that flatulence cards dominate the market.
Erin also isn’t fond of Mother’s Day cards.
Mother’s Day cards can be depressing and bland AF too but the past few years they seem to have gotten A LITTLE BIT better at least. These tweets are making me realize I pay too much attention to greeting card trends.
She doesn’t even give an explanation. Maybe because they have flowers and whatnot on them. Let me DuckDuckGo this…
Yeah, they’re all pink and have flowers and hearts on them. It’s pretty accurate, though. Erin talks about her fondness for the colour pink at least six times in every stream.
But yeah, her father isn’t interested in that macho stuff. He’s into computers and Disney.
Wait. You’re telling me that there aren’t any Disney Father’s Day cards?
There’s fucking loads.
That’s just an example. Five bucks from Hallmark. They’re all pretty childish like that but that’s because adults don’t tend to give Disney cards to their father. You can still do it, though. If he likes Disney stuff, there you go. Even comes with its own pin. “Yippee I’m loved.” He’ll wear it proudly. “My 33 year old daughter got me this.” “You have my deepest sympathy.”
Somebody replies with, “Don’t forget power tools too. And football. And being extremely lazy. It’s just all so dumb. lol”. To which Erin responds, “Yes the “dad’s are lazy!” cliche is also dumb. I hate it all lol.”
Erin’s father must have been lazy, though. How do you explain Erin if not through gross neglect? She’s a sociopath and has absolutely no interests or hobbies. Every story that she’s ever told was about something that she wanted to do or something that she wanted to acquire. It’s never about something that she actually did or actually acquired.
Oh, horny John Riggs replies. “It’s like they say ‘Dad’s like to do all the home repairs when they’re not stuck in a dead-end job’ – could you imagine the outcry if they had Mother’s Day specials on vacuums?”
Erin replies, “Yeah it’s just all so silly. And obviously it’s totally fine if someone enjoy’s tinkering with tools in their spare time. It’s just the way it’s presented is SO lame.”
I don’t even know what John Riggs is trying to say. Or Erin.
– “as a Dad of 4 kids, hand made cards are the absolute best”
From a 33 year old, though?
– “Maybe you can start an Etsy store with Erin greeting cards for dads.”
That would require effort. And there are already plenty of Father’s Day cards on Etsy that cover a wide range of topics and tastes.
Justin Silverman says, “Wait. I want to hang with your Dad.”
Erin replies, “He thinks you were funny on rental reviews. He saw like two episodes. You should hang.”
Why would she mention that he only saw two episodes? It’s insulting.
And you have to assume that one of the episodes is the one that Erin was on. Where she was wearing fishnet stockings.
It’s just weird. Unless her father is mentally retarded, which he may be, he must know that this is all fake. And there’s a disgusting sexual element to all of this. He’s watching this shit? “Oh, yeah. That’s my daughter getting those retards excited on the Powerpad. Say ‘It’s so hard’ again!”
It’s like people who get into pornography, as a rule, they don’t tell their parents about it. Because that would be creepy as fuck.
And that’s basically what Erin does. She’s making pornography for literal retards. Plus there’s the whole buttsex for Youtube promotion thing. I mean, what the fuck? These people don’t care in the slightest about Erin. If they did, first of all they would have done some parenting. And secondly, they would have told Erin that what she’s doing is stupid, it’s immoral, and it’s not going to work. So she should stop this shit.
No. “Keep making that pornography for retards and keep selling your ass.”
– “Just waiting for a dad card with some rainbows and unicorns on it. I would appreciate that if I were a dad.”
Well, in order to become a father, the first step is to have intercourse with a woman. And if you like rainbows and unicorns, I’m beginning to see the problem.
– “We don’t really do cards and I’m glad cuz all of those are terrible at least I usually get home made cards from the kids but I know eventually those will stop”
Well, they should. If you’re actually doing your job as a father and trying to raise your children to become productive, independent adults. Otherwise, you might still be getting these homemade cards from a 33 year old.
– “Lots of stuff about farts too.”
Yeah. It seems so.
Horny AlphaOmegaSin replies, “Yeah I never got all that. My Dad likes Star Trek and old western flicks. Closest thing to those that might hit the mark is if I found an unopened box of Home Improvement licensed Father’s Day cards from the 90s. He’d dig that.”
You’re telling me that there are no cowboy-themed Father’s Day cards? No. There’s fucking loads.
Here’s what Erin and the horntards are really saying, “The card selection at my local drug store on the day before Father’s Day isn’t very good.” So do some preparation. Spend five minutes looking for cards online, three days before Father’s Day. No, that’s too much effort. These people are too busy not working.
Speaking of not working, Erin talks about her $250/month “job” here:
https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1403978306446315523
“Wow this was a super fun stream! Thanks so much to those of you who watched/chatted! We “won” not one, but TWO deluxe kitchens AND a Porsche on Wheel of Fortune on NES!”
Erin streamed this game with Mike about two years ago. I reviewed it, but the review is gone. It was one of the most infuriating streams I’ve ever seen. Erin didn’t even know the rules. She kept picking vowels after spinning. She didn’t know that you had to buy vowels. She didn’t even know what a vowel is and I am not making that up. She obviously never watched Wheel of Fortune even one time in her entire life. And naturally, she never played the NES game before.
But now she’s all about Wheel of Fortune. The NES version. Or so she says. And we’re supposed to believe this.
Oh, I see. She did a “variety stream” of NES games based on television game shows. And she starts the stream by saying, “So today we’re playing Classic Concentration and I’ve never seen an episode of the show but I need to.”
Why does she need to? She’s gone her entire life without watching any of these game shows. Or playing any of these video games. Why now? If she wasn’t interested for 33 years, why the sudden interest?
It’s a scam. It’s a scam perpetrated on literal retards to get $250/month.
“And I’m going to be using the NES Advantage because I’ve been having really bad carpal tunnel.”
Unbelievable. Go see a doctor, Erin. A normal 33 year old doesn’t get wrist pain from playing video games three hours a week. If this is genuine, go get it looked at. What’s the problem?
The problem is that it isn’t genuine. I mean, I know that she doesn’t have health insurance, not having a job and all, but Mike can afford a doctor’s visit. Mike can also pay for private health insurance for Erin.
She says that she “couldn’t do anything” and was “icing my hands and being sad.”
It’s insane. First of all, she’s lying. But even if this is true, NOBODY would do that. If you’re that frail, just stop playing video games.
Then Sergio says, “How are you hands today?” Fuck off, you moron.
Oh. And you know who else is in the chat? JOHN RIGGS! That fat bastard jacking off over this.
I hope they all have a good father's day!