REVIEW | Bravely Default 2 – Pelvic Gaming

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8sRBsNKzEQ

Pelvic Gamer seems to have have given up.  I remember her saying that she was going to take like February off but here we are in May and she’s still barely uploading.  

The videos have been bad for a long time.  I started writing about her because she was doing weird shit like dressing up as a man and seducing herself or wearing a children’s toy train costume and using the front of the engine like a giant phallus or giving Valentine’s Day advice to her mentally challenged, horny “fans”.

Had I started the blog today, looking at her boring, cookie cutter videos from the past year, I wouldn’t have bothered reviewing her shit.  

It’s boring to write about boring videos.  It’s much more interesting to write about completely insane videos.  

But in terms of Pelvic Gamer herself, I’m glad to see that she’s apparently getting better.  I’m all about good mental health, which is an obsession of so many of these gamer grrls.  No more crazy videos suggests that she’s perhaps no longer crazy.  Or at least she’s better at concealing it.  Either way, it’s good.  

Bravely Default 2.  Whatever this is.  A JRPG, presumably.  That’s all that she does.  Ten minutes and eight seconds long.  She really wants those sweet Youtube ad revenue pennies.

0:00 – She keeps referring to herself as “your girl”.  That might work on the horntards but I find it off-putting in the extreme.  With respect Pelvic Gamer, I’m not interested.

So I’ve watched it now.  It’s fine.  She reviews the game.  And there was no needless profanity this time, which was a nice surprise.  

Let’s check out her inane Twitter.

https://twitter.com/LadyPelvic/status/1389275432239906820

Guys… I don’t wanna overhype my content but I also believe in giving yourself credit where credit is due. And I just finished the Fire Emblem script. Omg. This has my sides aching, and I hope it does yours when you see this in video form. I’m so proud.

I’ll look forward to that.  Some of that delightful female comedy.

So…JRPGs.  I haven’t played them in fucking decades.  

I played Final Fantasy Adventure for the Gameboy, as a kid.  I thought that I was getting The Legend of Zelda.  I wasn’t really familiar with any of this.  But no, it was Final Fantasy Adventure which is…sort of an offshoot of Final Fantasy, which has a different play style.  I’m still not really sure about any of this shit.  I played Final Fantasy years ago on an emulator and I remember it having like a four character party system and there was a robot class that you could level up by just giving him armour on top of armoir indefinitely, like 100 shields, for example, but I might be thinking of a different game.

Anyway, Final Fantasy Adventure was fine.  I played it.  I remember beating it and it was like a big, epic moment for me.  I spent so much time on that game, as you have to with these JRPGs.  But never in a million years would I play that game again.

I played Neutopia as a kid.  That’s a JRPG, I guess.  

But are these games really JPRGs?  There’s no party system.

Oh, I played Chrono Trigger on an emulator like 20 years ago.  I’m pretty sure that I beat it too.

I played Uncharted Water like 15 years ago.  Whatever the SNES one was.  New Horizons, I guess.  I liked the theme and I wanted to play more recent games in the series but they’re all in Japanese except for the one I played.  I played it for quite a while.  It was cool.  I liked it.  I’m all about that pirate action.  There’s a surprising dearth of pirate-themed game.  How could they never have improved on 1987’s Sid Meier’s Pirates?  Even later games in the Pirates franchise are shit.

JRPGs…there must be others that I’ve played.  

Well, maybe not.  I never had any for any console that I had, except for Neutopia and Final Fantasy Adventure.  They’re not on PC.  So the only way I would have played them is on emulators.

Oh.  Ogre Battle 64.  I liked that game.  Is it a JRPG, though?  Wikpedia says it’s a real-time tactical role-playing game.  I don’t know.

I also played the SNES Ogre Battle game.  I think that I played that one more than the N64 one, actually.  

There comes a point in one or both of those games where if you weren’t doing all of the cryptic bullshit, your army is too underpowered to continue.  “Oh, I neglected to replay this particular map on this one particular day and visit this one particular area at midnight to farm for vampire warriors.  How silly of me.  Now my game is over.  There goes 100 hours of gameplay.”

I think that’s pretty much my history with JRPGs.  So I find Pelvic Gamer’s videos to be really boring.  But if you like JRPGs, maybe you’ll find her stuff more enjoyable.

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