Erin is on TikTok now

“Did you know that there were over 20 Sailor Moon video games?”

Erin, I don’t think that this is what TikTok is for.  I think that it’s for singing and dancing or “memes” or something.  And I think that you’re a bit too old for this.

It reminds me of Mike promoting his Instagram.  And it’s just pictures of video games.  No.  Instagram is for posting sexy pictures of yourself.  Don’t be bashful, Mike.  

Or just don’t use the platforms.  I mean, what the fuck?  Who is going to go to TikTok to watch Erin’s awkward as fuck videos about video games?  We can see them on Youtube.  And I don’t even know why people are watching them there.

It’s just one terrible decision after another with Erin.  The problem isn’t that you’re not on enough platforms.  The problem is that your “content” is god awful.  Focus on that.  Focus on making GOOD content.  Then maybe people will start watching your videos.  

No, she’s just going to pollute every platform that she can find with her trash.  

Oh yeah, and she’s also on Instagram.  So what’s on there?  This TikTok video and screenshots of her Youtube videos’ thumbnails.

Why would anybody want to see this?  If we’re interested in your videos, we’ll subscribe to your Youtube channel.  Instagram is to show the world what a hot babe you are.  Put on some sexy dresses and take pictures in your bathroom.

It reminds me, I downloaded a dating app recently what with the “global pandemic” being over now.  I guess.  

A lot of women will include their Instagram profile.  So there will be like 20 pictures of them in the bathroom.  Some of these women just give their Instagram username.  They want you to “follow” them or something.  This is important to these women who use Instagram.  They’re really concerned about having a lot of “followers” for some reason.

All of these women should be banned from these dating apps.  They’re just using it to promote their stupid fucking Instagram that nobody cares about.

I had a match the other day.  Probably about 230 pounds, jacked up teeth, but a professional job.  That’s typically the sorts of matches that I get.  Big fat chicks with professional jobs.  

This is why back in the day, before pictures were common, I used to specifically look for Asian women.  Because how many Asian women are fat?  Not many.

So I met up with a lot of painfully unattractive Asian women who had professional jobs.  I mean…true, they were rarely fat so my plan was good in that regard but…really unattractive.  Maybe fat white chicks would have been better.  I don’t know.

Anyway, that fat chick who I mentioned didn’t message me.  That’s another depressing thing about internet dating.  It’s one thing to only get matched with obese and/or really unattractive women but it’s a whole other thing when these same women say, “I can do better.”

They’re delusional.  They’ll never find anyone to meet their insanely out of touch standards.  I’ve seen this many, many times.  They just end up alone.

Oh, look at this.  Just opened the app and the first woman here has a picture of her in a sexy dress in the bathroom.  I didn’t plan this.  It’s a black chick, she’s wearing a low-cut dress, about 9 inches of cleavage, and she’s in a bathroom.  It’s a pretty nice bathroom, actually.  Nice big mirror.  That’s obviously why she took the picture there.  Or maybe she just got done taking a big dump and was feeling slim.

Ooh.  5’11 “Yankee”.  She’s from fabulous New York City.  Wow.  That’s everyone’s favourite city.  She uses the word “banter” because she’s in the UK now and she wants to…I don’t know…adopt the local vernacular.  Guv’nor.

Ooh.  Second picture is also in the bathroom but an even more low-cut top.  

She uses the word “banter” again…

And her remaining pictures are weird selfies of her face, obviously taken by her, and they show that she’s a big fat chick.  

So…do I like or dislike?  Well, obviously like.  This woman has it all.

Next profile is a 19 year old, blank profile, and five close up pictures of her face, obviously taken by herself, and they all look identical.  We have to “like” her.  She put so much work into her profile, after all.

Next we have a 31 year old “team leader”.  Probably…300 pounds?  Something like this.  

Career girl
Family girl
Bad girl
Good girl
Attracting someone kind of special

Yeah.  It would be somebody…no, I’m not going to finish that sentence.  I’m going to have to dislike, though.  I’m sorry.  I have my limits.

Ooh.  29 year old slim woman.  How much do you want to bet that she has children?

Ding ding ding!  We have a winner!  Two children.

If a woman is even remotely attractive on these things, she has children.

It’s a no for me.

Next is a hideous 29 year old woman with no profile.  

This is how it is.  These women, no matter how unattractive, no matter how overweight, no matter how little effort they put into their profiles, no matter how many children they have, they’re getting matches.  LOADS of them.  More than they know what to do with.  

But I’m passing on this lazy uggo and thereby maintaining my alpha status.

Next is a 19 year old student.  She has some creative pictures.  Chubby but reasonably attractive woman.  I’ll swipe right.  You never know.  Live in hope.

Next up, 33 year old woman, blank profile, maybe a 3/10 in appearance.  But she’s not overweight at least.  She’s a keeper.

Then there’s a 30 year old student (aka “unemployed” at that age), not a looker, but she gives her Instagram profile.  So…even if you don’t match with her, she still wants you to follow her on Instagram.  Indeed, that’s the whole reason that she’s on the app.  She just wants Instagram followers.  And who wouldn’t want to see a bunch of pictures of a well-below average looking 30 year old woman?   

That’s a marginal “like”..

Next we have an absolutely corpulent woman with one picture and a blank profile.  Pass.

Oh.  Hold your cards.  We might have a bingo.

25 years old, unemployed, a 2013 graduate of the “school of clownery”, ENORMOUS, face of a man, heavily tattooed, “polyamourous” with “one amazing partner”, and smokes weed.  She’s looking for “great sex”.  She also states that social media is “very very hard on your mental health”.  So also a crazy person, in case it wasn’t already obvious.  OH.  And she has her Instagram on here.  

People who haven’t used internet dating before, as a heterosexual man, are going to think that I’m making this up.  I have to screenshot this shit.

THAT woman, with all of her many, many, many failings, be it physical, mental, economic, academic, ideological, and/or chemical, not only has a “partner” but expects to have another one at the same time. 

And she’s getting it.  Men are responding favourably to her profile.  Men are trying to have sex with that woman.    She has more matches than she knows what to do with.

In case you can’t see the pictures clearly enough, in one of them, she has a poster on her wall that says, “Big Fat Feminist.”

2 thoughts on “Erin is on TikTok now

  1. i only learnt about tiktok through someone who told me about it. it's meant to be an app where you make videos of yourself dancing, although you can use it to upload just about anything. if erin takes to putting out her dancing routines on this app, that will reveal a side of hers that might have been laying dormant for decades. heck, while she's at it, she should round up the other gamergrrls and do an elaborate dance number with them. get serious about forming a group. even randomly starting flashmobs

  2. Yeah, if Erin would actually use TikTok properly (dance videos) it might actually be something that she likes doing and it might make for interesting “content”. It would be different at least. People who want to jerk off to Erin dancing could do so.

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