REVIEW | Suikoden IV – Pelvic Gaming

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGgCQqLE7FM

The triumphant return of Pelvic Gamer!  But we’ve already missed fucking half of Black History Month.  Last year, she was all in for Black History Month.  She would advertise for black-owned businesses in her videos and shit.  This year?  Nothing.  

Same with Bobdunga.  Last year, she was all about black lives mattering.  This year?  She’s working herself up over fucking Britney Spears.

https://twitter.com/bobdunga92/status/1359195742208933895

Like two people reply and neither of them even know what she’s talking about.

Okay, so fucking Suikoden IV.  Whatever that is.  Some boring Japanese RPG, presumably.  But I skimmed and she’s in some weird costume so this might be worthwhile.  Sort of.

So it starts with her washed up on the beach.  She’s wearing a tank top or something and a big plastic sword.  

Then she starts reviewing the game.  I can’t.  I’m zoning out.  I’ll just skip ahead to the next zany skit.

4:00 – “Fucking secondly, okay, I got to pop off about this character.  I’ve been pretty ambiguous about them up until now.”

She’s speaking really quickly so it’s hard to understand what she’s saying.  I might have got some of that wrong.

Then she holds up a coconut…with a time stamp on it if you don’t want to hear the “spoiler”.  

“Fucking Snow Lingerfoot (or something).  He is a pussy ass bitch from start to finish.  This mother fucker is a captain and abandons his ship.” 

The gratuitous profanity really doesn’t do it for me.  Who would say “fucking secondly” in any circumstance?  

It’s a video game.  Relax.  

6:00 – More of that delightful skit on the beach.  She roped a couple of horndogs into playing along as enemies.  So she’s doing a skit where she shows how the combat in the game works.  

7:15 – Ohhhhh….one of these horndogs is a woman.  I never would have guessed from the initial zoomed out camera shot.  She has short, cropped hair.  Good for her.  

12:00 – Now Pelvic Gamer is sitting on the “corpses” of her friends.  I’m not sure who’s enjoying this more: the fat guy or the totally not a lesbian woman.

15:30 – Hopefully, the conclusion to this skit.  It ended with some sort of a “joke”.  I don’t know.  Check it out for yourself but…don’t expect Dave Chappelle levels of comedy.  Think more Wanda Sykes.  

Then she talks about how much work she put into making this video so we should all appreciate it.

Well, at least one guy did:

– “I love how much effort you put into your videos, keep it up!”

That was from PeanutButterGamer, a homosexual man who she did a “collab” with.  

It’s damning praise, isn’t it?  Well, A for effort but D- for result.

– “I love the work you put into this game!!! I appreciate it a lot”

Oh, somebody else with the same opinion.

– “Get your fans to send you a ps3 and play suikoden 5 and tactics:)”

Shameful.  But that is what she does.  She’s constantly shaking down her mentally challenged, horny fans for free stuff.

– “Someone get this gal a copy of Suikoden V ASAP!”

Why are these people saying this?  GO GET A JOB, PELVIC GAMER.  PAY FOR YOUR OWN SHIT.

– “I gotta give you a Like just for the production effort alone.”

But what about the content?  Was it funny?  Was it entertaining?  No.  It was brutal.  

It’s like fucking Jimmy “Rainman” Rolfe when he talks about how much work he put into that fucking Christmas video where he just hits that bald guy over the head with a bottle for 15 minutes.  Yeah, okay, it took effort to do that.  You have to buy all of that sugar glass and whatnot.  It takes time and effort.  But the end result was dogshit.  

Years ago, I did a job that took me 40 hours to do.  It was really difficult and the end result was bad.  So I handed the work in to my then employer and they said, “We’re not paying you for this.  It was really bad.”  

I didn’t argue.  Okay, you don’t want to pay, don’t pay.  I just won’t do any more of this work.  And I didn’t.  And they weren’t happy with that.  But fuck them.  

That’s what Rainman should have done after that awful slapstick video.  “People don’t appreciate all of the work that I put into this?  Then fuck them.  This is the last AVGN.”

It would have been better for everyone involved.  James would have got another job, maybe at Wawa or wherever mentally challenged people can find employment.  Maybe he would have liked that job better.  And the public at large wouldn’t be subjected to subsequent god awful AVGN episodes.  Everyone wins.

– “Someone send her a PS2 and copies of Tactics and V, stat!”

Why don’t you do it, you horny loser?  No job?

– “ngl your channel name sounds dirty in my head lol, great video”

That’s intentional, you fucking idiot.

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