Failing at Wii Sports Resort! – Erin Plays

Hey, Hamburglar top.  We’re in for a treat.

She was mentioning this game in the previous stream where she played Wii Sports.  At least in the 10 minutes of that shit that I was able to stomach.  Erin said that she played Wii Sports Resort before.  Then somebody in the chat asked her if she had a particular type of controller and she said that she did not.  Then the chat informed her that you need that controller in order to play Wii Sports Resort.  So Erin said that she must have the controller somewhere and just “forgot”.

I didn’t explain it well but basically, Erin was caught in a lie again.

Let me check.  Did she do a Valentine’s Day stream?  Not yet…but the day isn’t over.  I have faith that she’ll use this opportunity to shake down her horny, mentally challenged fans.

0:30 – “I was thinking of doing a Wii Sports video but I don’t know how fun that would be.”

So she’s trying Wii Sports Resort instead.  All research is done on stream, for money.

0:45 – “Am I using Wii Motion Plus?  I am”.

This is what I was talking about in the second paragraph.  She didn’t even know what this was the previous day.  But now she’s an expert.

1:15 – She makes a reference to Fruit Ninja.  I don’t remember her doing such a stream or video but she must have done.

“I want to play this with Mike.”

What’s stopping you?  Here’s how that exchange could go:

Erin: Hey Mike!  Want to play Wii Sports Resort with me?

Mike: Sure.

No problem.  Why does everything have to be on stream, for money?

2:00 – “It’s been years since I’ve played this.”

Uh huh.  She also claimed to have played Wii Sports and we saw how clueless she was at that game.  This is all made up bullshit.  And why?  Just say that you never played it before.  She’s said that HUNDREDS of times in the past.

Oh, I just noticed a benefit of the Hamburglar top: we don’t have to look at Erin’s arm fat jiggling. 

4:15 – She sniffles.  “My allergies!”

If you don’t want to see a doctor, have you at least considered taking some Claritin?  Just go the local CVS and they’ll sort you out.  They have CVS on the “East Coast” don’t they?  Maybe things have changed since my day, but I recall CVS being the big pharmacy chain there.  

I used to have really bad allergies as a kid.  So my parents took me to the doctor like normal people.  I had to take medication every day and go for injections like every week.  Then it became every other week.  Then it was every month.  Then just whenever.  It took years but eventually, the allergies went away.  And the medication worked as soon as I started taking it.  So there’s absolutely no need to suffer.  

4:45 – “This is giving you flashbacks to Skyward Sword?  Yeah, I haven’t played that one.”

You don’t say.  

5:00 – “I’m so like sniffly right now.  I took some Benedryl.”

Well, okay.  Maybe time to see a doctor then.

Then she inhales a tissue and says, “Sorry.  I know this is really attractive.”

Why doesn’t she just go off camera to do that?  Or at least turn around?  Do we need an extreme close up of you stuffing your nose with a tissue?  

She must have this on super easy mode, by the way.  It looks RIDICULOUSLY easy.  I don’t know how ANYONE can’t win.  She’s doing some sword fighting shit and the enemies don’t even do anything.  

11:15 – “This reminds you of the rope bridge of Indiana Jones?  It does, huh?”

She has no clue what this guy is talking about.  She never saw the movie.  Of course.

15:30 – “There are like so many Wii games that I don’t have any recollection of playing but, like, I own them.”

There’s no recollection of playing them because you never played them.

I’ve played a fair amount of games in my life.  WAY more than Erin.  Show me a game, today, and I’ll tell you whether or not I’ve ever played it.  Even if it was 35 years ago.  Even if I only played it for a short while.  I can recall every single game if I’m just shown the cartridge or some game footage.  

I don’t think that I’m some sort of savant.  I just think that Erin is a massive liar.

17:00 – The instructions say to hold the remote horizontally and Erin says, “Like this?”

She doesn’t know the difference between horizontal and vertical.  This is somebody who allegedly has a degree in English.  Here’s my tip: think of the horizon.  The horizon appears horizontally, right?  Oh, this is fucking genius.  I love these word memory things.

18:15 – She’s in practice mode and is getting frustrated at all of the prompts telling you how to play the game.  She also gets upset because she doesn’t know how to play the game.  

19:30 – “My arms are getting tired.  That practice took too much out of me.”

She’s playing with one hand now.  This is a good time to stop.  At least I made it further than in her Wii Sports video.  

But can you believe that Shishi and the gang were watching this for another hour and a half?  More than that.  How do they do it?  

And this is pornography to them.  So…why don’t they just turn it off when they blow their load like a normal person?  Maybe they have difficulties ejaculating.  

– “Hello can you Play Donkey Kong ?”

I don’t know why I found this so funny.  That was from Tibor Pastor.  

Well, Tibor, she never played Donkey Kong before.  That’s the bad news.  But you never know.  Maybe one day, she’ll decide to finally play that hidden gem, on stream, for money.  Won’t that be a treat?

“How do you jump?”

– “I was writing to say good video and happy Valentine’s Day to you and Mike and all on here. I’m doing a valentines night Matt dragen show that stats at 10pm Eastern time. Have a great day.”

I don’t even want to know what that is.

– “I am well at bowling.”

Glad to hear it, Tevin.

Oh.  I should not have done this.  Here’s what that Dragen guy was talking about:

He’s clearly mentally challenged.  Just watch it.  I’m not saying this as a joke or to be cruel.  It’s true.  He’s mentally retarded.  Or massively autistic.  I don’t know what it is but he clearly has serious problems.

He does these weird streams MANY TIMES A DAY.  

These are the people who are watching these gamer grrls.  These are the people who are giving them money.  

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