Godzilland – Castzilla VS The Pod Monster – Tony from Hack the Movies


About a month ago, Tony from Hack the Movies moved his Godzilla podcasts to their own channel.  He said that they weren’t doing well and it was bringing down…whatever…the metrics of his channel.  I don’t know how videos with low view numbers would affect the channel but I’ll defer to his expertise.  He is an employee of Screenwave Media, after all, and Screenwave Media is the home of Youtube.  So he must know what he’s doing.

So now these videos get even fewer views because they’re on a fucking separate channel.  

I’ve already listened to this one for “fun”.  Now I’m actually having to listen to it again for review purposes.  That’s some dedication.

Godzilland is some kind of educational program for Japanese children.  I learned this from a quick Wikipedia search.  But they don’t even mention this.  

Most of the video is about some vile comment that some lunatic who posts on his videos sent to a podcast where they interviewed Shaggy 2 Dope from The Insane Clown Posse.

2:30 – Here’s where he mentions the comment.  I won’t even repeat it.  It’s fucking idiotic.  Something a 12 year old would come up with.

3:45 – Johanna says, “Oh my god”.  That’s like her catchphrase.  Or, more accurately, when she can’t think of anything to say, that’s what she goes to.

4:00 – He mentions “all the creepy Photoshops that Reddit made of me”.  He continues, “The one where I’m like naked and muscular and shit.”

He’s talking about The Cinemassacre Truth.  It’s true.  It is some next level gay fucking shit over there.  

I mean, think about it.  How many pictures have you made where you put a man’s face on another man’s body?  Or picture where you put makeup and a wig on a guy?  Personally?  Zero.  But on that sub-reddit, that’s just about the only thing that they do.

I don’t know how I found this out but the guy who originally started that sub was transgender.  There’s a clear culture of homosexuality on that sub.  

And when they’re not making homosexual erotica, they’re talking about the appearance of these Screenwave guys.  They don’t like bears over there.  They only like slim and sexy guys.  And they’re not afraid of expressing these views.  Over and over and over again.  

There’s this bizarre veneration of Bootsy and again it’s just covered with a thick layer of homo-eroticism.  A casual AVGN fan doesn’t even know who this guy is.  I only know him through the sub.  I know that he was in the videos but I didn’t associate him with the channel.  He appeared very infrequently.  But he’s a slim, sexy guy (I guess) and that’s what they’re all about there.

They’re jerking off to this shit.  No doubt in my mind.  Just like how Shishi and the like jerk off to the gamer grrl videos, these guys are jerking off to Cinemassacre.  It’s some weird homosexual/video game erotica for them.

And…I mean…what the fuck?  There have to be better looking guys making video game “content” than James Rolfe.  It’s just weird.  All of it is weird.

And all the pictures of penises and…god, it’s fucking gross.  

If you’re jerking off to Cinemassacre, that’s fine.  I’m not here to judge.  But these disgusting catty comments and all the homosexual erotica that they make…it’s vile. 

The heterosexual equivalent would be if I started obsessively commenting on how fat Erin has become and I made Photoshopped images of her as Jabba the Hutt and I put Retro Ali’s face on Destiny Fomo’s body and shit like this.  Who would look at this shit?  Nobody.  Because it’s idiotic.  But that’s what that sub is: dumb, gay bullshit.  

4:30 – He talks about some different Reddit shit.  Somebody left a comment about how Tony from Hack the Movies ruined AVGN.  He downplays this saying, “Because it’s not the same as it was in 2008.”

I don’t think that’s the right attitude.  There’s no reason that there can’t be good AVGN episodes any more.  WRITE GOOD MATERIAL.  That’s the solution.  

But James Rolfe has hired people who either can’t write good material or they’re somehow being hampered.  Plus, James just doesn’t want to do anything.  He doesn’t care.  He turned the channel into a corporate money making machine.  It’s short-sighted because nobody is going to watch this fucking trash if the videos aren’t any good but this is what he decided on doing.

6:00 – Johanna misinterprets a comment that Tony made, suggesting that Johanna and Tony are “lovers”.  She finds this offensive.  But…she made a comment in an earlier episode that she and Tony used to date.  So…that is why she’s on the show.  And that’s how she got the job at Screenwave.  

8:00 – Finally, they get to the focus of the episode.  And as I mentioned previously, they don’t even know what it is.  And when I was listening to it, I couldn’t figure out what this was.  It was only when I went to Wikipedia that I understood.  

So that’s…that.  It was pretty boring.  The idea where they talk about obscure Godzilla stuff in between the Godzilla films is a good one but the execution is poor.  I didn’t even know what the fuck they were talking about.  I don’t think that they knew what they were talking about.  

And Johanna is terrible.  I’m sorry.  That’s why Tony has started bringing in “guest” commentators.  I gave it a chance but she’s not good.  At all.  

Being able to talk on, say, a podcast, and be engaging is a skill.  It’s a skill that can be developed.  Some people are more naturally gifted at this than others.  Maybe with more practice she could become almost competent but I really doubt it.  

It’s just not for everyone and that’s okay.  I’d be fucking god awful.  But that’s why I don’t do a podcast.  You have to know your strengths and weaknesses.

Oh my god indeed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *