Checking Out Erin's Boring as Fuck Twitter

Right now Mike and I are discussing which of the Sailor scouts would have oily skin if they were real people. 

“Venus and Mercury wouldn’t have any skin problems.”-Mike “

Why would you say that?”- Me “

They just wouldn’t.”- Mike

Funny stuff.  I better post that zinger on Twitter.  Nobody will ever believe that such a hilarious thing was ever said.

I don’t know how Mike does it.  There’s absolutely no way that he brought this topic up.  And then to have to sit there and discuss this inane bullshit that not even Erin cares about.  It’s horrendous.  

The woman has no legitimate interests for whatever bizarre reason.  So she has to discuss FAKE interests.  What a way to go through life.  

And just look at this dialogue.  Do I really have to dissect it?  “They just wouldn’t”.  That’s the “punchline”.  That’s something that you say when you can’t think of anything funny or interesting to say.  But Erin obviously finds that hilarious.  Or she doesn’t and she just doesn’t know what else to write.  Her mind is completely empty.

The new Weezer song is kind of cute. Either I’m getting soft, or I’m not so angsty anymore and I realize the 90s are never coming back so I should chill when it comes to my Weezer opinions =w=

Hey guys!  Remember Weezer?

Well, only sort of.  Let me check Youtube.

Say it Ain’t So.  Buddy Holly.  The Sweater Song.  Oh, sure I remember now.  That was during the late “the 90s” when homosexual California pop punk was becoming all the rage.

I listened to this shit.  It was on the radio.  But I was never a fan.  I was never a big music person generally but this gay shit really didn’t do it for me.  

So there’s a new song.  Helpfully, she doesn’t say what the new song is.  We’re just supposed to know.  We all just keep up with dinosaur *nostalgia* acts.  So I have to DuckDuckGo this shit now.

I guess that she’s talking about All My Favorite Songs.  Sounds super gay!  Let’s check it out.

It starts with a weird Google ad.

So it’s about how this gay man’s favourite songs are all “slow and sad”.  And he says “ooh ooh ooh” a lot.  And he has a soft voice.  So yeah.  I never want to listen to that again.

I read a comment about how Weezer has “matured as a band”.  I don’t get it.  It’s the same effeminate bullshit that they were doing in “the 90s”.  I suppose this was a softer sound.  Anyway, garbage.

I tried my best to keep up with streaming last year, which can stress me out at times, while consistently putting out YouTube content. You guys in my chat made it a lot better though AND we just past 11K followers this year! Thanks so much for being a part of Erin Plays land!

Erin, this is your JOB.  You don’t have any other responsibilities.  Why are you so stressed?  These shitty Youtube videos take one hour to do at the most.  The streams are rarely more than two hours and she does maybe one or two a week on average.  So she works…let’s just say five hours a week.  Let’s be really generous and say that she works ten hours a week.  

That’s stressful?

Let me see if any record stores are hiring in Philadelphia.  Maybe she’d find that less stressful.

Oh, this didn’t take long.  This is perfect.  Sales Associate at Hot Topic.

It’s in Willow Grove.  How far is that from Philadelphia?  It’s a suburb.  This is great.

Part-time.  So that’s good.  Here’s the ad:

Join the loudest store in the mall! We’re looking for music and pop culture fanatics to help create the best experience for our customers. As a Hot Topic Sales Associate, you’ll be a huge part of our success by providing the best customer service, ensuring that fellow fans are able to get their hands on the Merch they love. You’ll share your fandom knowledge, stock and replenish product, and help merchandise the store in a visually appealing way, all while being hyper focused on the in-store experience.

God, this job is tailor made for Erin.  

Here are the responsibilities:

  • Provide an amazing shopping experience that will encourage customers to return. They’ll be impressed by your product knowledge, customer experience skills and use of the Force
  • Cover the sales floor zone and ensure that assigned areas are up to visual standards
  • Work the register; you’ll process sales transactions and use your fandom knowledge to drive add on sales
  • Assist with planogram changes including store map, wall, fixture, & merchandising mix
  • Let your voice be heard! You’ll communicate fashion & music trend information to management and respective HQ partners
  • While we welcome wizards, we don’t like it when spells are stolen. You’ll work with Store Management to ensure there’s no misuse of spells and wizardry around theft
  • Support the maintenance of the mother ship; you’ll help keep the stock room organized and the store tidy
  • Any other activities as assigned by your Store Leader
Ummm…personally, I find all the nerd references here to be extremely off-putting.  But Erin probably finds them “cute”.  So great.  And she’s presumably done all of this shit at her previous record store job.
Here are the requirements:
  • Previous experience working in a retail environment. If you love music and pop culture, you’re in the right place!
  • Superpowers in providing customer service and selling
  • You’ll have to be at least 16 years of age to join the fandom force
  • Avenger like collaboration and communication skills
  • The usual retail stuff: able to stand and walk around during scheduled hours, reaching for Merch using ladder, step stool and poles. You’ll also have to be able to move around boxes awesome merchandise that may weigh up to 50 pounds
Well, she has the experience.  So that’s no problem.  Communication skills…well, she’s done the job before.  How bad could she be?  And that 50 pound thing is bullshit.  I used to see that in every job listing for shitty jobs.  It’s just there for legal reasons.  You never have to lift anything even approaching 50 pounds.
So yeah.  What does it pay?  Well, that’s the mystery.  Most job listings for unskilled jobs don’t give the salary.  But Hot Topic…probably minimum wage, right?  What’s minimum wage in Pennsylvania?  Wow.  $7.25/hour.  That’s rough.  But it’s WAY more money than she’s making now.
Let’s say that she works 20 hours a week.  That’s $580/month.  She currently makes $200/month.  
And it’s not like she can’t still do the Youtube videos and streaming.  This Hot Topic job is just part-time.  So this is just extra income. 
What is Hot Topic anyway?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a place.  
Well, the headquarters is in California so maybe this is the same chain that she worked in.  They sell music and video game shit.  This is right up Erin’s alley.  
She’d be there directing customers to the latest hit Weezer albums, and the cute Super Mario toys, and all the “rad” band t-shirts.  What’s not to like?  
And if she sticks with it, she could become the assistant manager within a year?  Two years?  Then manager.  Then working in corporate office.  The sky’s the limit.  And obviously there are pay rises for all of this.

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