Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBtNVj6pHyE

Oh great.  Thirteen games that she’s never played before.  We’re in for a treat.  Or maybe a trick…no, I’m thinking of Destiny Fomo.

0:00 – What?  Really?  She’s not even going to appear in this video.  It’s voice-over only.  How is ShiShi going to jerk off to this?  

At the start of October or maybe even late September, Erin promised costumes.  Where are they?  There was that fucking Twitch stream where she dressed up as “sexy” Strawberry Shortcake and that was it.  What the fuck?  

People on Reddit were making fun of her for looking fat in her Strawberry Shortcake outfit.  Maybe that’s why she didn’t upload the video to Youtube.  Maybe that’s why she didn’t do any more costumes.  She was feeling self-conscious.  

Did she gain weight?  I don’t know.  I don’t give a fuck, frankly.  But it would stand to reason.  I mean, when you don’t work, you tend not to be active.  And over the lockdown, people were staying in, drinking more, maybe eating more, not getting any exercise, whatever.  

But I read some of the chat on Twitch.  Shishi liked the outfit.  He could barely contain himself.  All the horndogs liked it.  

So…there’s a fetish for everything.  Some people like chubby 33 year old fake gamer grrls in Strawberry Shortcake costumes.  Whatever.  It takes all kinds.

But if Erin is embarrassed about what she’s doing, she should be.  Go get a fucking job.  Dressing up as Strawberry Shortcake for a handful of mentally challenged sexual deviants is disgusting.  

0:15 – Splatterhouse.  A game that she’s played on stream, for money. And she’s also done a review of this game.  All of them.  

Then there’s footage of her playing this game, for a Youtube video, for money, YEARS ago.  It’s from before she moved in with Mike.  

So…she’s not even fucking playing these games.  She’s showing you the one time in her life that she played Splatterhouse.  Fortunately, we have the footage.  Because that’s the only time when she plays video games.  For a Youtube video or for a stream.  But she couldn’t even bring herself to play it again for a Youtube video.  Fucking ridiculous.  Complete and total lack of effort.

0:45 – Erin claims that the game is “super fun”.  Uh huh.  So fun that she played it ONCE in her entire life.  And it was for a shitty Youtube video.

1:00 – “Of course, there’s also the Famicom game Wanpaku Graffiti”.

Another game that she played for a Youtube video.  YEARS ago.  

1:15 – Zombies Ate My Neighbours.  Dude.  Come on.  She played this one just recently, on stream for money.

Then we see the fucking Twitch stream footage.  Fuck off with this.  This is just a whole other level of pathetic.

I expected 13 fucking games that Erin played, on stream for money, but she’d be playing them AGAIN for a Youtube video.  No.  This is a fucking clip show.  

“Super fun” is how she describes this game.  This game that she played ONCE in her life.  On stream, for money.

“You can play single player but this is even better as a co-op game.”

How does she know?  As far as I know, she never played this co-op.  Show me the stream.

2:00 – Gauntlet Dark Legacy.  She played this one with Mike.  On stream, for money.  And I remember this was the video where Erin claimed to have got first place in Fortnight on her first attempt at the game.  And then again when she played co-op with Mike.  But oddly, this was the one time in her life when she was playing a video game and it WASN’T being recorded.  And then she edited this comment about how she got first place in Fortnight out of the Youtube version of this stream.  Mike must have told her, “Nobody is going to believe that, you better edit it out.”

Also…yeah…Gauntlet Dark Legacy a spooky game?  No.  I don’t think so.

2:45 – Blood.  Did she even stream this?  

“A PC game from 1997.  That was a good year.”

Okay.  Tell us why.  What did you do as a nine year old in 1997 that made it such a great year?  She has no fucking stories.  About anything.  In her entire life.  She’s never fucking done anything.

Yeah.  She never played this game.  Mike did.  He played it on stream, for money.  AND THAT’S WHAT SHE’S SHOWING!  She’s showing Mike playing the fucking game.  Unbelievable.  

So now she’s reviewing games THAT SHE NEVER PLAYED AT ALL!  

This is definitely Mike playing the game.  If I had absolutely nothing going on in my life, I’d check the footage of his stream and try to marry it up.  But you can just tell by how much better the gameplay is than anything Erin can achieve.

3:45 – Monster in My Pocket.

Has she played this one before?  Maybe as part of a “variety stream”.  For a few seconds.  Or maybe she stole the footage from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining’s recent review of this game.

Oh no.  She did do a stream.  I know this because she then shows footage of her playing the game on stream, for money.

4:30 – Luigi’s Mansion.  Now…it was only recently that Erin said that she never played Luigi’s Mansion before.  Let me check the archives because I remember pointing this out.

Yeah.  A stream that she uploaded to Youtube on 9 October.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBTjMVEVA5I

I review it here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/10/king-of-demonsmajyuuou-destroyed-my.html

Oh, unfortunately it’s from footage that she deleted from the Youtube version.  But in the original stream, I have her quoted as saying, “I was going to try out Luigi’s Mansion because believe it or not, I’ve never played Luigi’s Mansion.”

So…now she has played it.  She’s played it at some point between 9 October and 29 October (when this latest video was released).  Okay.  Let’s see.

No, I’m not buying that.  This was the shortest “review” that she’s done so far in this video.  I don’t know where she stole the footage from but that didn’t look like her usual shit tier gaming.  And she didn’t appear anywhere in the video, like in the corner from a stream.  So…yeah, this is another game that she’s reviewing THAT SHE NEVER PLAYED!

5:00 – Demon’s Crest.  I mean…COME ON.  Mike played this recently, on stream for money.  That’s what this footage is.  In case people don’t understand what I’m saying, ERIN HAS NEVER IN HER LIFE PLAYED THIS GAME!  NOT EVEN FOR THIS VIDEO!  BUT SHE’S FUCKING REVIEWING IT!

Here’s the fucking footage of Mike streaming this game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STeUl9ctLA4

That was uploaded on 27 October.  Erin’s video was uploaded on 29 October.  That tells you how quickly she’s able to shit these zero effort videos out.  Just steal Mike’s footage, check Wikipedia dot com, job done for another week.

“The first few levels are basically tutorials so I appreciated that because it did help”.  

Unbelievable.  She’s actually presenting this as a game that she’s played before.  She never played this game for one fucking second.  She’s using footage from Mike’s fucking recent stream of the game.  

6:15 – Escape from Monster Manor.  This doesn’t look familiar to me but the next image is Erin holding the game.  Maybe it’s not even her hand.  I don’t know.  

Oh.  Then there’s footage of her playing the game, on stream, for money.

6:;45 – “Jekyll and Hyde”  She’s eschewing the honorifics for some bizarre reason.  She doesn’t know the fucking name of the game or the book it’s (loosely) based on.

And she never played this either.  But again, Mike did.  On stream, for money.  So that’s what this footage is.

I mean, you don’t actually see Mike in the footage for these games.  Because I assume there’s raw footage of just the gameplay.  So not the window where you see Mike playing the game.  That’s what she’s done for these.  Mike gave her this raw footage and that’s what she’s using.  But she never fucking played the game.  At all.  Not even for this video.

“Obviously this game sucks but it does have some qualities that I think are worth mentioning despite the shittiness so just hear me out.”

How much weight are we supposed to give to the opinion of somebody who NEVER PLAYED THE GAME?  But no, she’s going to tell all of us gaming noobs why “Jekyll and Hyde” is such a great game.  Based on…what?  The AVGN video?  Mike’s stream?  

Then her first reason for why the game is awesome is…the title screen.  She likes the cute hand.

“Sometimes bad games can be fun to play because it’s fun to laugh at them.”

BUT SHE NEVER FUCKING PLAYED IT!  This is just unbelievable.  The comments are going to be scathing.  Right?  Probably not.

Oh, and her second (and last) reason why the game is awesome is because it has cool backgrounds.  Oh.  Yeah.  Okay.  Typical Erin Plays in depth discussion.

7:30 – Moving swiftly on, Super Ghouls and Ghosts.  Another game that Erin never fucking played.  But Mike did.  Mike played this on stream, for money.  Not long ago.  Within the past year, I think.  So more of that delicious Mike Matei gaming footage.  While Erin tells us what a great a game it is.  So great that she never fucking played it.

8:30 – Nightmare on Elm Street.  She played this for a Cinemassacre video and I think that she also played this on stream, for money.  Mike streamed this for money as well.  So…let’s see whose footage she uses.

I think Mike’s.  She didn’t even use her own footage on this one.  Even though she has footage.  

Then she claims that this is her favourite NES game.  Really.  She played it fucking two times in her entire life.  Both times, it was being recorded, and she was getting paid.  Favourite game on the NES.

This is definitely Mike’s footage.  She does not play like this.

I’m just thinking, Erin also streamed this game with Mike.  And I remember unbelievably bad gameplay.  They would get to a boss and Mike would tell her to just stay behind him while he kills the boss.  I’m not even exaggerating.  That’s what happened.

But it’s her favourite game on the NES.

9:45 – “All in all, it’s a super fun game and it’s addicting.”

Yeah.  You know how people get addicted to cigarettes?  They smoke one cigarette and then never again?  It’s a serious problem.

10:00 – Brutal Doom.  She played this one just recently on stream, for money.

10:15 – “It’s a game that everyone should play through at least once.”

She didn’t even do that much.  She didn’t beat this game.  I mean, what the fuck?  She was terrible.  Atrocious.  She was bad even by her rock bottom standards.  

But now we’re supposed to take game advice from her.  “Hey guys!  I played Brutal Doom on stream, for money, for about an hour.  So…I think everybody should play it.  It’s a good game.”

She doesn’t even know that it’s a mod.  She doesn’t even know what a mod is.

10:30 – Castlevania.  Ugh.

11:15 – She’s talking about Simon’s Quest.  “I love the Castlevania franchise and I haven’t even put that much time into it yet.  At least at the time of recording this video.”

She’s obviously planning a Simon’s Quest stream.  How else would she play video games?

I just can’t with this.  She’s showing a montage of her playing various Castlevania games on stream, for money.  I can’t fucking comment on this though.  It’s fucking infuriating.  These bullshit comments where she pretends to be some super “gamer”.  Like her fucking opinions matter in the slightest.

That’s the video.  Holy shit.  We’ve reached a new low.

Reviewing a game that you’ve played one time for a Youtube video or a Twitch stream?  That’s completely ridiculous.  

But now she’s reviewing games that she hasn’t played AT ALL!  

Do people not know this?  Are they not realising what’s happening here?  They must.  These horndogs are in every one of her streams.  They know what games she plays.  They must know that she only plays games on stream, for money or for Youtube videos for money.  These horndogs also watch all of Mike’s videos.  So they must know what’s going on here.  She just fucking used Mike’s stream footage and…reviewed a game without playing it.

Top comment is from Cinemassacre.  Oh.  I guess Mike is feeling bold again.  He stopped doing this for a while, presumably because he was told off by Ryan.

He just puts a time stamp to Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde or “Jekyll and Hyde” as Erin likes to call it.  Oh right.  I get it.  Like in that famous AVGN video.  But you’re not James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd.  You’re Mike Matei.  You wouldn’t be trying to fool anyone, would you?

No, we all know that it’s Mike commenting, right?

– “I was wondering if you would show up to comment on that choice! Haahaa”

– “NERD!!!!”

– think Mr. Nerd is pissed off because of that game. So he mentioned it, like…“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! ERIN! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”I can imagine that.”

– “Lol.. James Rolfe is triggered !”

Oh.  Maybe not.

 – “She dad joked so hard she put a baby in me. 🙁 Erin…your toothpaste joke created a child! Im pregnant now!”

This is some guy’s weird fetish.

– “You’re still doing your passion, great for you!”

– “I figured you would mention Castlevania since that’s a game you always play at this time it seems”

Oh yeah.  On stream, for money.

– “Great list but here is a game i might recommend clock tower 3 and friday the 13th on the nes”

She’ll get right on those, Ho Tung Yeung.  Can’t you see that she’s a fucking fraud?  Confucius say, “Credibility weighs more than gold”.

– “looks like all the time u took editing paid off, great video erin”

I thought that this guy was being sarcastic, commenting on how shit this video was.  But no.  Erin replies with “Thank you!”  So now I don’t think that he was.

– “Great list, impeccable taste, super enjoyable video! My shout for a spooky game is X-Multiply, the arcade shooter made by Irem in 1989. It’s pretty hardcore but also really fun, and has you shrunk to tiny proportions and injected into a sick old man, with view to eradicating the alien virus plague he’s infested with. It does freaky body horror really well with lots of grotesque set pieces. The Saturn port is part of a double pack with the classic original Image Fight, but it’s X-Multiply I come back to all the time.”

This guy’s out of his fucking mind.  How can people not see that this is a total fraud?  Are they completely blinded by this 33 year old middling attractive beauty?  And look at Erin’s reply:

“Thank you very much for the kind words, I’m glad you enjoyed it! And oh wow, I just looked that game up and I totally need to play it. I’ll have to look at the Saturn version too. Thanks for the rec!”

So…”I never played that before.”  Well, that clearly doesn’t stop you from doing a review of the game.  Tell us what you think about X-Multiply.  No need to play it.  You think it’s a cool title?  Probably has some cool backgrounds, right?  Maybe some nice colours.  Sweet looking fonts.  10/10.   Everybody should play X-Multiply.  Super gamer grrl Erin says so.

– “Escape from Monster Manor reminds me so much of a 90s PC game called Nitemare 3D I used to play a ton of. It was part of the Hugo series of adventure games.”

This was from autistic Erin Plays superfan NewWaveJunkie.  When he’s not playing with his Legos or his penis (while watching Erin Plays) he’s playing video games.  He knows his stuff.  He’s referencing some obscure shareware adventure game from 30 years ago.

How can he possibly not see the fraud?  It’s crazy.  

He just doesn’t care.  He talks to numerous fake gamer grrls on Twitter and Youtube and whatever.  He gives them money.  So that’s why they respond to him.  He’s just sitting there jerking off over this.  This is his fantasy.  Attractive (or “attractive”) women who play video games.  He doesn’t care that this is all fake.  This is porn to him.

It’s like watching actual porn, you’re jerking off, and then suddenly some dude comes in and says, “What the fuck?  This isn’t a real sorority.  Why would there be cameras all over?  This is obviously fake.  What’s wrong with you?  Jerking off to this fake shit.”

That’s what’s happening.  That’s why people aren’t calling her out.  Because to them, this is pornography.  They know that it’s fake.  They don’t care.  That’s not what they’re there for.  They just want to get lost in the erotic fantasy.  Erin Plays is their Wendy Whoppers.

So Erin will continue to review games THAT SHE HASN’T EVEN PLAYED and nobody will give the slightest of fucks.  Please continue to take my money, mistress.  HUGS!