Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwVrbZSeIJY

Another stream that was so bad she didn’t upload it to Twitch.  I think that she’s doing this to spite me because I’d check the original to see what she cut from the Youtube version.  But it’s only affecting her.  I don’t know if Twitch pays you anything for people watching your old streams but aren’t the subscribers pissed off that they can’t watch the streams that they missed live?  Ultimately, these people are going to stop subscribing.

So Erin is wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt.  Hey guys!  Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?  I remember, Erin.  But do you?  You were two years old when the movie came out, which was the height of their popularity.

0:30 – Then there’s this:

Erin: “When you were playing…fuck, what’s it called?  A game I really don’t like but people love.  It’s a modern game that came out in like 2005/2006.  It’s really popular.  You were playing it.”

Mike: Oh.  Half-Life?

Erin: Yes!  Half-Life looks good.

How the fuck did Mike get Half-Life from that description?  And once again, this is a game that not only has she never played before, she doesn’t even know the name of it.  One of the best selling games of all time.  Let me look this up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_PC_games

Half-Life 2 was the 11th best selling PC game of all time.  The original Half-Life was the 12th best selling PC game of all time.

Then Mike says, “Wait.  I thought you said that you didn’t like it.”

It’s true. She said both.  She said that she liked it and she didn’t like it.  She’s just completely full of shit.

By the way, we’re mid-way through October.  Where’s the “sexy” costume?  I remember last year, she was so happy with her higher view numbers when she wore a “sexy” costume that she considered wearing costumes YEAR-ROUND.  Now she can’t even do it for the month of October.  

2:00 – Then Erin starts explaining what this stream is about.  Mike recently did like 20 hours of streaming where he played almost every Nintendo game.  God, that was awful.  I couldn’t watch more than a few minutes before I had to shut it off.  He plays a game for two minutes, says, “Well, this sucks” and then moves to the next game.  He’s basically ripping off Erin’s now.  

Actually, that’s true.  I have noticed recently that he’ll start streams by saying, “I’ve never played this before”.  What’s next?  “X looks like Y”?  Colour appreciation?  Talking about cute enemies?

4:45 – After some riveting Elvis trivia from Mike, Erin counters with her own riveting Britney Spears trivia.  How does Mike do it?  He’s living with this.  He can’t just turn it off.  All day, every day, he has to listen to this banal shit.

5:30 – Mike is explaining some nerdy shit about Battletoads and Erin could not care less.  She’s not watching, she’s drinking her beverage.  Any possible escape.  “Get me the fuck out of here.  He’s talking about video games again.  I don’t fucking care.”

9:45 – Bump n Jump.  Erin says, “I’ve never played this game for more than a minute.”

Why is she suddenly qualifying these statements?  In the past, even if she only played a game for a minute, on stream, for money, in a variety stream she would say that she played it before.  Never mind that it was only for a minute.  That minute counts in Erin’s world.

10:00 – “I really like the name.  Bump n Jump. . It’s so fun to say.”

Mike isn’t having any of this.  He just ignores it.  That’s his coping strategy, I guess.

Then Mike is showing her how to play and again, she’s not watching.  No fucking interest whatsoever.

12:30 – Mike invites her to try the game.  She wants absolutely no part of this.  

“Let’s see if I absorbed anything he was saying.”

She wasn’t fucking listening and that’s what she’s referencing here.

“How do I jump?”

That was the first thing he explained.  The “A” button.  There are only two fucking buttons.

Then she plays it for about five seconds and says, “This is fun.”

Anyway, neither one of them know anything about the game.  They say that the arcade game just has better graphics, for example.  I’m pretty sure that the NES game is completely different.  I’ve only seen the NES game from this video but I played the arcade game on MAME extensively.  More than any other game.  The tracks were totally different and the graphics didn’t completely change from one level to the next, like the NES version seems to do.  Like they’re jumping huge walls in this second level of the NES game.  That doesn’t happen in the arcade game.

18:00 – They start doing some really, really, really uncomfortable elderly New Jersey couple…something.  Dialogue, I guess.

19:00 – Mike is showing Cobra Triangle. Again, she has a look on her face like she’s about to kill herself.  She does not want to be there.  

And he’s just fucking farming.  NOBODY would be interested in this, least of all Erin.  

She’s going to play the fucking game once, for 30 seconds, and then never again.  She doesn’t need to know all of the pro tips to get the maximum score.

20:45 – She is bored out of her fucking mind.  She puts her hand on her head, says, “hmm”, and looks at the chat while Mike continues his nerdy explanation of this 30 year old game that nobody cares about.

23:30 – Mike keeps playing this game.  I thought that he was just going to farm and then hand the controller to Erin but no.  Erin thought he was going to do that too.

But then Mike gets to stage 3.  And he says, “So this stage…check this out.” and Erin is totally disinterested and just looking at the chat.  So he pauses for a second and then looks at her because he sees that she isn’t paying attention.

24:45 – Mike is on stage 4.  “So when you get to this stage, this is the one I was talking about…”

SHE’S NOT GOING TO GET TO STAGE 4!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  SHE’S NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN THIS SHIT!

25:30 – He gets to stage 5, it’s a boss battle, and he hands the controller over.  After spinning around for a while, not knowing the controls, she sits in one spot and just mashes the shoot button.

27:00 – Next stage.  “This is so weird to control.  I don’t like this.”

Turn the game off, Mike.  How many hints does she have to drop?  Turn the game off, end the stream, and have a serious discussion with Erin about whether or not this is something that she really wants to do.  

They’re playing Darkwing Duck.  That’s enough for me.

– “She does not give a crap what Mike is saying. She is just interested in the chat! He keeps looking at her and she like yeah, yeah, okay, sure!”

Holy shit.  The horndogs are revolting.  Or at least pointing out the obvious.  That’s revolutionary enough.  That guy will be banned soon, though.